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boston bean

(36,931 posts)
45. Many live in marriages with their abusers and tell no one for decades.
Wed May 8, 2013, 02:41 PM
May 2013

WTF is so difficult to understand about this? If one can't come to grasp with the concept, it starts coming off as "blame the victim".

sorry, but that's what you are sounding like. It is not natural to wonder all of these freaking things. Not if you can bring yourself to understand batterd wives syndrome.

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Message auto-removed Name removed May 2013 #1
Welcome to DU but how do we know this is for real, the money will get to him? uppityperson May 2013 #8
Message auto-removed Name removed May 2013 #35
Charles Ramsey has said he doesn't want money. ellisonz May 2013 #43
Excellent advice and indeed, he doesn't want money. Give directly to an established place uppityperson May 2013 #46
Excellent. ellisonz May 2013 #47
Thanks for the info, and good job with the removal. Could be real but........ uppityperson May 2013 #54
+1 pinto May 2013 #48
This is certainly going to deflate the "blame the victims" (they could have left but didn't) people. monmouth3 May 2013 #2
Tell me persons here weren't saying that! PLEASE! nt boston bean May 2013 #3
I saw an OP here yesterday questioning why these women "did not leave when they could have."...n/t monmouth3 May 2013 #4
Ugh. Victims have a hard enough time with that when they *aren't* physically restrained. Posteritatis May 2013 #75
Right here on DU. "Why didn't they try to escape?" or "Why didn't they just leave?" or kestrel91316 May 2013 #41
They're implying it right here in this thread ismnotwasm May 2013 #60
There are always, ALWAYS, people who go right there when these stories break. Posteritatis May 2013 #74
We forget that some people are armchair Ninjas. liberalmuse May 2013 #77
I in know way intend to blame the victims, as you say. But, I am definitely curious since Laura PourMeADrink May 2013 #5
one of the talking heads on MSNBC OKNancy May 2013 #6
Yes, she had probably been told by her captors that there was no help siligut May 2013 #24
Yes, I can see how it took three people treestar May 2013 #7
His brothers were not living with him. And up until several months ago, he had a job. LisaL May 2013 #10
They still must have helped treestar May 2013 #11
It appears only Ariel Castro is being charged. LisaL May 2013 #65
Not even alleged to have. LisaL May 2013 #67
No it doesn't. If they were literally chained up for 10 years you would think they would sound Laura PourMeADrink May 2013 #12
I agree. I don't think they were literally chained up for the whole 10 years. LisaL May 2013 #14
Yes, this is what I believe siligut May 2013 #25
Most likely used the girls connections to control them MattBaggins May 2013 #37
I just heard that one method he used to keep them truegrit44 May 2013 #86
There's one thing I can guarentee about such situations jeff47 May 2013 #30
Don't you DARE go blaming those women in any way for their situation. kestrel91316 May 2013 #42
Thank you get the red out May 2013 #56
I don't need any lectures from you. LisaL May 2013 #63
Geez - it's amazing how people jump for just discussing the situation. Thiought it went without Laura PourMeADrink May 2013 #69
Exactly. LisaL May 2013 #71
of course you don't ! no one does. no one ever has blamed them. nt Laura PourMeADrink May 2013 #76
Jibe, the word is Jibe, not Jive CBGLuthier May 2013 #90
if they were kept locked up in the a soundproofed attic or basement magical thyme May 2013 #36
How do you think she should have sounded? Brickbat May 2013 #44
Deserves Severe Punishment ibjensen May 2013 #9
They can't get the death penalty for any of these three cases. treestar May 2013 #13
Ohio includes fetal protection in its murder statutes. geek tragedy May 2013 #16
So what are you getting at? treestar May 2013 #17
5 pregnancies, one child born. Frequent beatings. geek tragedy May 2013 #22
I would wonder though if Ohio would apply the death penalty treestar May 2013 #50
Lots of factual details to be sorted out. geek tragedy May 2013 #52
Some more on that treestar May 2013 #92
(A) would cover it as well. geek tragedy May 2013 #93
Thanks for the information! Rhiannon12866 May 2013 #94
I do believe kidnapping is a Capital Offense... Bandit May 2013 #18
I don't think in the US one can be executed for anything less than murder treestar May 2013 #20
Might wanna read your link jeff47 May 2013 #31
If those states try it they will be stopped treestar May 2013 #49
Why would the SCOTUS stop it? jeff47 May 2013 #80
The death penalty was illegal for a while treestar May 2013 #85
Your argument is "treestar says so". jeff47 May 2013 #91
No, never heard of a death penalty for kidnapping unless a victim died. LisaL May 2013 #21
Wasn't there something about the girls getting pregnant? LiberalFighter May 2013 #29
Yes, see geek tragedy above treestar May 2013 #51
Welcome to DU! Life in prison, and nothing less. Quantess May 2013 #23
Sounds good when said, but, how many victims will be murdered when the punishment blm May 2013 #28
Excellent point Art_from_Ark May 2013 #95
As these details come out, it's like some people forget that they are cumulative. Brickbat May 2013 #15
You're right treestar May 2013 #19
I am not loving the categorization "blame the victim". It's really quite natural & non-accusatory Laura PourMeADrink May 2013 #26
This message was self-deleted by its author jeff47 May 2013 #32
Many live in marriages with their abusers and tell no one for decades. boston bean May 2013 #45
But these are not battered wives treestar May 2013 #53
No, there is much more to it, than staying with someone in hopes they change. boston bean May 2013 #55
Oh that is wayyyy too simple "hold onto hope he will change" for DV survivors. uppityperson May 2013 #57
This case though is really about people who were actually kidnapped treestar May 2013 #66
I agree there are differences, not arguing that. Simply trying to address a point you wrote about DV uppityperson May 2013 #82
I actually meant that sympathetically to avoid blaming them for staying treestar May 2013 #84
wow, didn't expect such assholery from you. I would hardly compare a battered wife to a kidnapping Laura PourMeADrink May 2013 #68
You wouldn't? Not one that was afraid to leave. To much of a leap for you to make? nt boston bean May 2013 #72
Psychological or emotional chains are often even stronger than physical ones opiate69 May 2013 #73
They only were allowed out of the house twice in two years BainsBane May 2013 #78
Bingo! And the corallary to this is that calling the criminals animals or worse, hedgehog May 2013 #27
They are NOT animals get the red out May 2013 #58
you got it. magical thyme May 2013 #40
And we don't know yet Tansy_Gold May 2013 #61
and wasn't one of them 14 when it happened, they are women now JI7 May 2013 #70
Interesting Kelvin Mace May 2013 #33
"a call" - which are you referring to? the other day? or in the past? Laura PourMeADrink May 2013 #34
The neighbors say Kelvin Mace May 2013 #38
thanks...hadn't heard that. Only that the police did respond once and no one Laura PourMeADrink May 2013 #39
According to this article the women only went outside twice and neither tammywammy May 2013 #83
Which is why Kelvin Mace May 2013 #89
increased activity now at house riverwalker May 2013 #59
checking abandoned house 2 doors down riverwalker May 2013 #62
The Cleveland Chief of Police was on the news this morning saying that they had no toby jo May 2013 #64
I wonder how many guns the Castro Bros. had? baldguy May 2013 #79
Now the police are saying only one brother was actually involved. pnwmom May 2013 #81
I have a question? truegrit44 May 2013 #87
Just answered my own question truegrit44 May 2013 #88
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