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DesertFlower

(11,649 posts)

17. i re-married when he was 9 to a wonderful man --

Thu May 9, 2013, 05:50 PM

May 2013

the complete opposite of my ex. my first husband aspired to be a gangster -- my second husband wanted to be president of IBM. actually he said that one time jokingly. he was with IBM for a year when we met. he was still with IBM when he passed last year at age 64 from a brain tumor.

he was a wonderful dad to my son -- loved him like his own. we set a good example. we both worked hard -- every year we did a little better, but my son saw his father sleeping till noon, driving a cadillac and wearing a diamond pinky ring. i guess he was more impressed with that.

he was okay until he was about 17 and that's when the change happened. when the police came to the house we couldn't believe it. my husband said "no way would he do that".

i know people make their own decisions, but i do hold my ex responsible for setting the example he did.

BTW. my entire family felt i made the right decision.

thank you for your kind words. i'm crying as i'm writing this. it's still very painful especially this last year since i lost my husband. we were together almost 42 years and were soul mates.

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What Makes A Parent's Bond With Their Child So Incredibly Strong? [View all] SoCalMusicLover May 2013 OP

People are capable of complex feelings in complicated situations. That's about it. Brickbat May 2013 #1

Loving your child unconditionally sarisataka May 2013 #2

a mother's love OKNancy May 2013 #3

You are not a parent by your own admission HangOnKids May 2013 #4

Actually, the description of the Amanda Berry ordeal sounds like what happened to Amanda Berry. Squinch May 2013 #5

Of Course Amanda is going to tell the sordid details of her father to her child! HangOnKids May 2013 #7

Yes, but I'm sure you'll believe you need to. Squinch May 2013 #8

Clue phone for you HangOnKids May 2013 #11

See? I knew you'd think you needed to. Squinch May 2013 #12

Can't put my finger on it but I just don't dig you. HangOnKids May 2013 #13

I think I'll be able to bear up under the disappointment. Have a nice day. Squinch May 2013 #15

Great so glad I could help! HangOnKids May 2013 #16

Actually, Amanda should release the details to her child slowly and age appropriate. Luminous Animal May 2013 #19

Amanda Berry is most likely going to have to explain the sufrommich May 2013 #21

Also, we don't know what the child has already witnessed, so she might need to have a lot Squinch May 2013 #24

I agree, I have a hard time trying to imagine sufrommich May 2013 #25

Good God, yes. Squinch May 2013 #29

For six years she's been living the horror of her father. Dorian Gray May 2013 #27

It isn't always so incredibly strong. In fact there is evidence all around that it often is not. Squinch May 2013 #6

i had a son who became a criminal. i disowned him. DesertFlower May 2013 #9

I Commend Your Tough Decision SoCalMusicLover May 2013 #14

i re-married when he was 9 to a wonderful man -- DesertFlower May 2013 #17

I'm so sorry DesertFlower LeftInTX May 2013 #28

This message was self-deleted by its author DesertFlower May 2013 #20

This must have been so difficult. I am so sorry you had to do this and go through this. Squinch May 2013 #30

thank you. it was difficult, but DesertFlower May 2013 #31

Well, first off, there is no "universal bond" between parent and child Kelvin Mace May 2013 #10

Some mothers can separate the child from the rapist in their minds and hearts Marrah_G May 2013 #18

It's very instinctive and very physical LeftInTX May 2013 #22

not exactly an answer, but fascinating & perhaps related Voice for Peace May 2013 #23

evolution nt Deep13 May 2013 #26

Giving birth and caring for an infant is a form of hazing Nikia May 2013 #32