Gina DeJesus' mother forgives Castro and says she would hug him. Could that attitude harm her

[Ms. Toad]

16. Do not dismiss her feelings as "psychology" or "identifying with the kidnapper."

My brother murdered two women. At his trial, my mother and the mother of one of the murdered women sat together outside the courtroom, confounding both prosecution and defense (both were expected to be witnesses and excluded from the courtroom). That was more than 30 years ago, and our families remain friends (I spoke with one of the siblings within the past month), and have become friends with the family of the other victim (I also spoke to the husband of the other within the past month). Twenty years after he murdered their child and sibling (in the case of one) and spouse and mother (in the case of the other), the families of both women successfully campaigned to keep the state from executing my brother.

The mother in this case may not always feel as she does today. I think it is a bit soon to know how she will feel once the immediate flood of emotions passes, but her feelings may persist - and to dismiss those feelings as "psychology" or "identifying with the kidnapper" is an insult people who are truly wired differently, because it says to them their experiences are not real or valid because the way they feel makes others uncomfortable.