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[DesertFlower]

11. i'm struggling with depression right now.

my husband passed last year and i have health problems. financially i'm fine, but i wish i would die. i keep myself going because i have my cat -- he's spoiled and attached to me. he's not adoptable. i also have a friend who does so much for me. if i were to end it he would feel like he failed me. also it's the wrong thing to do.

i am seeing a therapist. i told her that when my cat dies i'm going to will myself to die. she said "do you feel like you've done everything in life that you're supposed to"? i said "i don't know -- if i didn't have health problems -- i'd like to make some kind of difference -- maybe volunteer work".

today my car was making a funny noise and i was stuck in a traffic jam. i kept myself together by doing positive affirmations, i.e., "all is well with my life", "my health is perfect", "my car is fine" and i started to feel better.

my advice to you is stop beating yourself up. the past is the past. get a copy of louise hay's book "you can heal your life". don't give up. you have family who love you.