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[hunter]

42. "Living on the streets" is my mental backstop, and I may be flippant about it sometimes...

... but it sucks.

My untreated depression comes with a large side order of paranoia, which is probably a survival mechanism. Unfortunately that paranoia also makes me invisible to people who might otherwise help me.

In my blackest darkest places there is no chance I'd ever "pull myself out of it." I'd simply die alone somewhere.

When I'm not in those dark places I keep my social safety nets in some sort of repair because I know at some point I'll need someone to reach out and tell me, "Hey, you need to eat," or "why don't you walk with me to the health clinic."

My parents haven't had to drag me to the E.R. for a very long time, but they still would, as would my wife, kids, siblings, and friends.

I'd do the same for any of them, and even strangers.

I've burned many bridges in my life, even blown a few up, but so far I've been lucky enough to know and love people who will find a boat or swim across the river to fetch me back.