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[DesertFlower]

66. my family is all gone too except for

a sister in canada and another one who i'm not speaking to in S.C. i have 2 nieces -- also in S.C. i have 2 friends in NYC and my step daughter is in atlanta. we've bonded since hubby passed.

i have 2 friends here -- one is agoraphobic -- the other one is my massage therapist who became my best friend when hubby got ill. i can't tell you how much he has done for me and continues to do. i don't think i would have made it without him. of course, he has his practice and a wife so there's just so much time he can devote to me.

then there's my cat -- monkey. we used to have 3 cats but decided after they passed we would not get more -- felt we were getting older and had no one to take them if something happened to us. monkey is 12 and was diagnosed in december with kidney disease. he's on a special diet. he seems to be doing okay. have to have him checked again in july. he's very protective over me. doesn't like it when anyone is in the house. he tolerates howie, but did hiss and jump at him one time. a few weeks ago one of my friends from new york came for a long weekend. monkey didn't know what was going on. no one has slept in this house since john passed. he stayed very close to me.

i'll be 72 in october. i have CFS/ME, IBS, scoliosis, herniated discs, osteoarthritis. i need a lot of rest and most times i don't feel well. i sleep late. when john first passed i would sleep till 1 or 2 in the afternoon. now it's usually 10 or 11. it makes the day shorter. i'm lazy too. i just don't have the energy or the inclination to do anything. i have a cleaning service once a month and the house stays clean. i have 2 robots which vacuum the floors. i don't cook -- mostly take out or a lean cuisine from the freezer.

i know what you mean about knowing how much your cat loves you. i see it in monkey's eyes too. most people would think we're nuts -- living for out cats.