General Discussion

bettyellen

(47,209 posts)

232. Im not sure I want to see anyone's butt cheeks at the mall. I can understand wanting to move out of

Sat Jun 22, 2013, 11:22 AM

Jun 2013

sight when someone is presenting a bit of a spectacle- their butt cheeks- in a place you don't normally see them.
Some people are going to be bound to stare- and check out other's reactions- and it's creepy uncomfortable all around to be in the midst of that. It's one thing when it's a grown up who knows they are engaging in attention seeking and understand what it all means. It's another when they are too young to know that some fucked up people will view their dress as invite to view - and consider them- as sexual objects. Not saying it is right that they would be, just saying it will happen.
I remember my niece at 10 being pretty aware, and telling my bosses (she was fit modeling) that she wouldn't wear those pants with anything written across the ass because she didn't to give anyone an excuse to stare at her ass for an extra second. And she was correct. Those pants almost forced you to look at kids asses. And if you don't want people to stare at your ass, you shouldn't wear them.

Click here to purchase valentine hearts!

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

261 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Moms: Please Don't Do This. [View all] MineralMan Jun 2013 OP

I've also got a story like that leftynyc Jun 2013 #1

+1 Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #2

Sixteen-year-olds going to the prom MineralMan Jun 2013 #4

OTOH - while it's reasonable to wear comfortable clothing on a plane, most hedgehog Jun 2013 #8

I wear casual clothing all the time. About the most I ever MineralMan Jun 2013 #13

All the other girls (the seniors) leftynyc Jun 2013 #16

Sadly, some moms really can't tell the difference Warpy Jun 2013 #155

There was a girl like that at my son's prom this year (not his date). A "barely there" dress. Drahthaardogs Jun 2013 #238

Some of those lacy outfits actually have a nude colored lining. Baitball Blogger Jun 2013 #159

Yes, we looked for that leftynyc Jun 2013 #164

Be prepared for a flaming - odds are that someone will accuse you of being a pedophile! hedgehog Jun 2013 #3

I can't imagine why. My wife and I moved to different seats. MineralMan Jun 2013 #5

But you noticed that a twelve year old who was dressed provocatively, hedgehog Jun 2013 #7

I notice everyone around me in public places. MineralMan Jun 2013 #10

I'm with Buzz Click below - hedgehog Jun 2013 #14

who would not notice? RILib Jun 2013 #203

What "scene" was being made? uppityperson Jun 2013 #31

Why were you uncomfortable? So much so that you had to move? morningfog Jun 2013 #39

I found it annoying. So I moved. MineralMan Jun 2013 #42

I don't know why you moved, that's why I asked. You said because you were uncomfortable. morningfog Jun 2013 #50

Being annoyed makes me uncomfortable. MineralMan Jun 2013 #56

I guess I just don't get it. I've never looked at how a little girl morningfog Jun 2013 #62

OK. We react differently, then. MineralMan Jun 2013 #63

Correction: you react. I don't. morningfog Jun 2013 #64

I object to the sexualization of children. MineralMan Jun 2013 #65

Ah, I see now. You sexualized based how they morningfog Jun 2013 #68

no - clothing actually can sexualize a person by emphazing body parts- and the abundance of skin bettyellen Jun 2013 #77

Are you 12? morningfog Jun 2013 #79

No, but I have worked with kids as models in NYC, and it did bother me the way some kids were bettyellen Jun 2013 #85

+1 Context matters. n/t Aerows Jun 2013 #186

the truth is, fucked up people will (correctly) see these girls as having less supervision or bettyellen Jun 2013 #231

The problem is that there are strangers Ilsa Jun 2013 #90

I whole heartedly disagree. morningfog Jun 2013 #95

+1 redqueen Jun 2013 #97

Here: Ilsa Jun 2013 #99

I pick my battles elehhhhna Jun 2013 #124

Very true. We can only hope that Ilsa Jun 2013 #130

Yep. And that's why the revealing clothes bother me. elehhhhna Jun 2013 #133

So there is no difference between a 12 year old and someone in their hedgehog Jun 2013 #165

In what they choose to wear? morningfog Jun 2013 #174

So -if clothes don't matter - how acceptable is this hedgehog Jun 2013 #176

I think you know the difference. morningfog Jun 2013 #180

Not a parent? Because if you were your stand would be fantasy land. You are goddamn right I notice Ed Suspicious Jun 2013 #205

I am a parent. morningfog Jun 2013 #207

So if a 12 year old girl Jenoch Jun 2013 #219

Why shouldn't I be? Yours is a ridiculous hypothetical, but morningfog Jun 2013 #223

Swim wear worn by anyone Jenoch Jun 2013 #225

Because it is only with 12 YO's that mothers control the wardrobe. TheMadMonk Jun 2013 #227

we are talking about kids, and unless you are okay with them running around naked at 12- bettyellen Jun 2013 #230

It is what it is. Aerows Jun 2013 #184

+1 n/t FreeState Jun 2013 #84

+ a brazillion uppityperson Jun 2013 #149

Are you fucking kidding me? RetroLounge Jun 2013 #249

Does harrassing MineralMan about this make you feel special? Sure seems like it. kestrel91316 Jun 2013 #126

Your punctuation mistakes and misspellings cliffordu Jun 2013 #122

Some men might think a Lolita is not whom they want to sit near. WinkyDink Jun 2013 #202

"A Lolita"?! redqueen Jun 2013 #206

It only took 36 posts Floyd_Gondolli Jun 2013 #45

Before this thread is swooped down upon by an angry mob... Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #6

Yes, I'm sure there are guys who enjoy seeing that. MineralMan Jun 2013 #9

You and I are on the same page. Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #11

As a female old fart, I have to agree with you. I'm basically an old hippie and I find the Nay Jun 2013 #38

As another female old fart... malokvale77 Jun 2013 #132

I agree. I moved from one city where Ilsa Jun 2013 #78

Very good point. HappyMe Jun 2013 #88

re: tweens dressed like "hookers" redqueen Jun 2013 #98

Yeah, well, I didn't want to spend Ilsa Jun 2013 #106

I know... redqueen Jun 2013 #112

Watch This snooper2 Jun 2013 #125

Geesh! You'd freeze your nubbins off in anything too scanty! We used to wear coats. davsand Jun 2013 #162

The hookers around here don't "dress like hookers". TrogL Jun 2013 #217

YEah, whatever. Let me know when you live in the real world. RetroLounge Jun 2013 #250

I agree- it would be nice. But also we have to acknowledge that clothes can be more provocative bettyellen Jun 2013 #255

"a reflection of our society's penchant for over-emphasizing sexuality at younger and younger ages." CrispyQ Jun 2013 #233

My reaction when I see this is amazement as well - why would anyone present themselves hedgehog Jun 2013 #12

Adults can wear anything they damn well please, MineralMan Jun 2013 #15

The word 'guidance' is key here. HappyMe Jun 2013 #19

Absolutely. And I think that deep Ilsa Jun 2013 #72

Adults can't wear anything they please mimi85 Jun 2013 #234

Too late, the usual suspects are already swooping. RetroLounge Jun 2013 #251

At this point, it's only bones. Even the vultures have left. Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #259

Oh, there's all kinds of new posters picking at the remains RetroLounge Jun 2013 #260

... Apophis Jun 2013 #17

Watch "Sexy Baby" redqueen Jun 2013 #18

LOL. And the daddies are left out of the equation, it's very telling. nt boston bean Jun 2013 #20

Yeah... there are many fathers involved in their daughters' upbringing. redqueen Jun 2013 #21

Only custodial dads successfully tell daughters what to wear. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #22

It's like flies on poop! Isn't it? boston bean Jun 2013 #41

Yup! redqueen Jun 2013 #51

Well, in this case, Dad was not there. MineralMan Jun 2013 #27

It's a curious fact that I have never seen a father escorting a daughter dressed like that. Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #30

Not saying I approve of the dress, but aging girls can be a challenge -- IdaBriggs Jun 2013 #23

Thanks for making this point. nt redqueen Jun 2013 #25

Nice thoughts on the topic. Thanks for the post. nt. NCTraveler Jun 2013 #178

My father told us girls when were were teens that we could no longer run around the house in uppityperson Jun 2013 #24

And thank you, so very much, for bringing up this much deeper issue. redqueen Jun 2013 #26

Not as long as their junk doesn't show. MineralMan Jun 2013 #28

Since the girl you reference did not have her genitals showing, seems hypocritical uppityperson Jun 2013 #29

She's got a point, MineralMan. ;) Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #33

Oooo, mesh muscle shirts, those are really something also. uppityperson Jun 2013 #35

The boys in the pants that expose their MineralMan Jun 2013 #44

That look has been "out" around here mimi85 Jun 2013 #235

LOL! Great question. I cannot wait to read his response. Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #32

I'm reading this with interest and I think you upaloopa Jun 2013 #119

I remember back when I was a teen around 15 yrs and we had to travel. I remember southernyankeebelle Jun 2013 #34

Mom was the only one there, not dad. MineralMan Jun 2013 #49

Well my dad would have really made a point. Before we left the house am sure he southernyankeebelle Jun 2013 #54

I believe we grew up in a different time. MineralMan Jun 2013 #57

I think your right southernyankeebelle Jun 2013 #60

My dad never would have let me wears shorts with my ass hanging out. HappyMe Jun 2013 #66

Well I was about 15 in 1963. Back then we didn't even wear pants suits in school. southernyankeebelle Jun 2013 #134

I was in California, in a small farming town. MineralMan Jun 2013 #195

Why did you move to other seats? leftstreet Jun 2013 #36

That's my question too. morningfog Jun 2013 #40

Because society still has a FEW standards. Showing one's buttocks is not much different from showing kestrel91316 Jun 2013 #128

I know women and girls who go nude and they upaloopa Jun 2013 #138

Huh? What women walk around nude mimi85 Jun 2013 #241

Lol. So resolute, and based solely on a stupid morningfog Jun 2013 #141

Beware, sexual attraction photos below, if you are a "prospective sex partner" beware. uppityperson Jun 2013 #146

To be fair, most people would move seats if they were subjected to first four of those penultimate Jun 2013 #158

"the only reason for doing so is to attract the attention of prospective sex partners. " uppityperson Jun 2013 #160

Yeah, I got that part after I posted my comment... penultimate Jun 2013 #167

Because I was annoyed. MineralMan Jun 2013 #46

You could have made your OP more generic leftstreet Jun 2013 #86

There are always multiple ways to write anything. MineralMan Jun 2013 #89

Maybe I'm too pipi_k Jun 2013 #82

reminds me off a gal I know who had a tatto of a tiger jumping down her cleavage to grab her breast. bettyellen Jun 2013 #92

I guess this is why pipi_k Jun 2013 #103

No, no matter how girls or women dress, it is not an excuse for harassment. nt redqueen Jun 2013 #93

Nobody should pipi_k Jun 2013 #111

You didn't specify what kind of attention you meant, redqueen Jun 2013 #117

This IS about harassment. About men who stare at females. Men who harass females to wear what THEY uppityperson Jun 2013 #151

Men staring at females mimi85 Jun 2013 #237

Whoosh. sigh. eom. uppityperson Jun 2013 #261

And the OP harrassed no one. He just quietly moved away. kestrel91316 Jun 2013 #129

The post you're replying to was not a response to the OP. redqueen Jun 2013 #135

Hey pipi_k Jun 2013 #175

Buttocks hanging out? I see germs! (well, not literally.) Ilsa Jun 2013 #83

Funny that you were the first person to introduce sex into this thread. Why is that? Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #105

LOL nice try leftstreet Jun 2013 #136

No. You're projecting. Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #137

No he didn't. n/t mimi85 Jun 2013 #239

So then why not let her go topless too? RetroLounge Jun 2013 #252

"Where do you think you're going in that outfit, young lady?" Raven Jun 2013 #37

Yes, my dad and my stepmom. HappyMe Jun 2013 #47

"Baby Slut-wear" is the generic name I gave to certain items of clothing msanthrope Jun 2013 #43

Ah, so it is the clothing a girl/woman wears which mark her as a "slut", is it? redqueen Jun 2013 #55

Would you wear "juicy" across your butt? What would you think of a woman who did? msanthrope Jun 2013 #102

It isn't "slutty" it's tacky. Quantess Jun 2013 #177

I've called no one 'slutty.' Kindly retract your accusation. nt msanthrope Jun 2013 #181

Okay, then. I take it back. Quantess Jun 2013 #189

Thank you. nt msanthrope Jun 2013 #192

Easy to hide behind implication and pretend we say things other than we mean. LanternWaste Jun 2013 #199

You mean like your post? If you are accusing me of something, msanthrope Jun 2013 #200

IMO calling a woman a slut based on her sexuality is equally wrong. redqueen Jun 2013 #185

Would these qualify? mbperrin Jun 2013 #210

Fathers hopefully ismnotwasm Jun 2013 #48

part of the problem jollyreaper2112 Jun 2013 #52

Sometimes the face doesn't properly convey the age Art_from_Ark Jun 2013 #153

So because you can't help but pop a stiffy over some jailbait cleavage... Uzair Jun 2013 #53

What stiffy? MineralMan Jun 2013 #58

So then what so offended you that you had to move to other seats? Uzair Jun 2013 #59

I was annoyed by it. MineralMan Jun 2013 #61

Beaches must drive you mad with annoyance. morningfog Jun 2013 #67

No, you know, they don't at all. MineralMan Jun 2013 #69

How does location change what clothes you morningfog Jun 2013 #71

I can see that you don't understand. MineralMan Jun 2013 #73

So, cleavage and buttocks of a 12 year old at a beach, morningfog Jun 2013 #76

I notice he doesn't answer the interesting questions likethis one. uppityperson Jun 2013 #152

Good answer! mimi85 Jun 2013 #240

So full of shit Uzair Jun 2013 #91

+1 leftstreet Jun 2013 #96

Did I not mention the airport? MineralMan Jun 2013 #140

Many times. Neoma Jun 2013 #213

Is there any location where you would have considered the girl at the airport to have been dressed redqueen Jun 2013 #123

Sure. The mall. A theme park. MineralMan Jun 2013 #139

So when you said "Moms: Please don't do this" you just meant that they shouldn't allow their young redqueen Jun 2013 #142

If it was okay at the mall, I don't see why it wouldn't be okay at the airport. kcr Jun 2013 #161

beaches and airplanes are NOT the same thing, LOL. bettyellen Jun 2013 #80

MM has already said his problem was with the age of the girl and the clothes she was wearing. redqueen Jun 2013 #100

Why do you defend him and never me? Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #104

LOL what are you talking about? redqueen Jun 2013 #109

Yes, it was a joke at many levels. Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #114

Thanks for the laugh redqueen Jun 2013 #121

Post 69- he addressed the beach issue. HappyMe Jun 2013 #107

I think the airport was the context he set up. It's a tricky subject- because while I wish bettyellen Jun 2013 #148

He has since said that he thinks the clothing would have been fine at a mall. redqueen Jun 2013 #172

Im not sure I want to see anyone's butt cheeks at the mall. I can understand wanting to move out of bettyellen Jun 2013 #232

Would you dress your girls up like this? snooper2 Jun 2013 #127

Aside from the fact that they're missing, you know, pants... WorseBeforeBetter Jun 2013 #150

Cute dog. Both girls could use a trip to the orthodontist TrogL Jun 2013 #218

He thought it was inappropriate, just as I would have. And I'm a woman. kestrel91316 Jun 2013 #131

You apprear to host the same intolderance for others you indioct them with. LanternWaste Jun 2013 #81

This is pipi_k Jun 2013 #94

A "streetwalker"? Uzair Jun 2013 #116

Oh pardon me... pipi_k Jun 2013 #173

"prudish intolerance"? RetroLounge Jun 2013 #253

Amazing a jury allowed an accusation like that to stand. Union Scribe Jun 2013 #157

The jury system is a fucking joke MattBaggins Jun 2013 #169

Excellent post. Dr. Strange Jun 2013 #201

+1000 RetroLounge Jun 2013 #254

I would be annoyed by either sex grossly under-dressed Ilsa Jun 2013 #70

I need to shave my armpits to not annoy you? I'll send you a photo of my feet and sandals to make uppityperson Jun 2013 #154

Certainly, please and Ilsa Jun 2013 #156

In 1983, I wore a Members Only Jacket, acid washed blue jeans, a peach colored Izod shirt LanternWaste Jun 2013 #74

I graduated from high school in 1963, MineralMan Jun 2013 #87

I dressed about the same way in 1983! (I was 19 at the time) bullwinkle428 Jun 2013 #166

Fellow 80's child here VWolf Jun 2013 #208

If she had actual cleavage, chances are good she was older with a young face. pnwmom Jun 2013 #75

LOL! 100 replies and so quickly! Who knew? Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #101

the Shorts cut about the Butt seems to be a trend this season JI7 Jun 2013 #108

This will end well. Initech Jun 2013 #110

It started out fine... Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #115

That was just round one. I'll stock plenty of butter for round 2. Initech Jun 2013 #120

You must have a lot of free time. Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #113

And much self-importance. "Now ladies, moms out there, tsk, tsk!" morningfog Jun 2013 #118

You're taking this very, very personally. It was not intended that way. Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #143

THis really hits close to home for you, huh? RetroLounge Jun 2013 #256

... except when it comes to criticizing what they post. Buzz Clik Jun 2013 #144

NO ONE IS TO STONE ANYONE UNTIL I BLOW THIS WHISTLE Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #147

It seems pretty clear, doesn't it. MineralMan Jun 2013 #183

I know exactly what you're talking about because my 12-yr old granddaughter chooses to dress txwhitedove Jun 2013 #145

Parents. Not just moms. GObamaGO Jun 2013 #163

Just visited LBN and now I see what this is about suffragette Jun 2013 #168

I didn't see that post. MineralMan Jun 2013 #170

While we're on the subject-- stop wearing pajamas in public, people. Marr Jun 2013 #171

Haha Sugarcoated Jun 2013 #224

As a parent of a 15 year old, it comes down to picking and choosing the battles you want madinmaryland Jun 2013 #179

I suppose that could be. It's a pity, though. MineralMan Jun 2013 #182

Have you ever had a daughter or any child for that matter? madinmaryland Jun 2013 #187

As I have said many times on DU, MineralMan Jun 2013 #191

Clothing isn't behavior. It's clothing. redqueen Jun 2013 #188

They are thinking some of several things: LWolf Jun 2013 #190

Yes, I'm sure you have. MineralMan Jun 2013 #193

Jesus Christ on a Trailer Hitch... trumad Jun 2013 #194

Well, thanks for your feedback, trumad. MineralMan Jun 2013 #196

I know, right? Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #197

You've got to be kidding. mimi85 Jun 2013 #245

I think maybe you are blinded by your prior interactions with the OP RetroLounge Jun 2013 #257

That's what kids wear these days in So. Calif. I substitute teach in LibDemAlways Jun 2013 #198

If that's the case, I'm the luckiest dad ever. VWolf Jun 2013 #209

Over-sexualization of children can be a problem, sure. AtheistCrusader Jun 2013 #204

Why move?... awoke_in_2003 Jun 2013 #211

Why does it bother you that he moved? RetroLounge Jun 2013 #258

You did exactly the right thing. Grey Jun 2013 #212

Both my wife and I moved. She made much the same MineralMan Jun 2013 #214

Dress is communication. Why do we where suit and tie? What is it meant to say about us? Ed Suspicious Jun 2013 #215

Juicy is a logo. AtheistCrusader Jun 2013 #222

I think you are absolutely correct. nt bike man Jun 2013 #216

My standard for what's appropriate noamnety Jun 2013 #220

I'm not that concerned with the dress of high-school aged teens MineralMan Jun 2013 #221

Excellent example! hedgehog Jun 2013 #242

I remember a few years back... NaturalHigh Jun 2013 #226

Parents who let their kids dress pipi_k Jun 2013 #228

I'm not sure how I emded up on this thread. HOWEVER, mothers have long and foreverr maddiemom Jun 2013 #229

Message auto-removed Name removed Jun 2013 #236

I think you're making a good point about the two extremes. hedgehog Jun 2013 #243

I'm not a mom, and will never be... HipChick Jun 2013 #244

I agree. Thanks. MineralMan Jun 2013 #246

I have mixed feelings here gollygee Jun 2013 #247

I have no problem with shorts and tank tops on kids. MineralMan Jun 2013 #248