Spanking Child With Wooden Spoon Not Child Abuse, Says State Court

[enlightenment]

72. I swatted my kid once on the diaper

and felt so guilty I never did it again; we had a single go-round when he was a teen and pushed me past my limit - again, I was devastated at my loss of control (that was a slap, not a swat). I don't believe in violence and I still feel that those two episodes were the worst moments of my parenting.

Time-out didn't work because he was perfectly happy to sit there, pretending his fingers (or toes, after I told him to keep his hands still) were people and creating an imaginary world.

After trying a number of other child-psychologist approved (and grandma-suggested) methods, I finally switched to the dreaded, "sit for an hour while we discuss what you did; why I am upset that you did it; what the potential consequences of you action could have been; why the behavior is not acceptable; what you will need to do to make up for your ill-advised action/behavior . . . and on and on and on . . .". Always calmly, always with the reaffirmation of my love for him - though if I were angry enough, I might say "I love you always, but I don't like you much right now".

Basically, I bored him into behaving.

Recently he told me that he will do the same for his kid (if he has one - he's 33), because he loved those talks. Quality time, I guess, before the term became over-used.