Spanking Child With Wooden Spoon Not Child Abuse, Says State Court

[chowder66]

176. You are teaching while disciplining

which is fantastic.
Aggressive discipline can read as attention to children. It's negative attention but attention nonetheless. And it is the wrong way to seek attention but children don't necessarily understand that. So when parents spank... the kids are getting attention but with physical pain. Children don't know how to process this in their developing brains. It's a conflict that can do some minor to severe damage depending on the severity, frequency and reasons for physical punishment.

Physical discipline is typically a very short-term fix mainly for the parent and has nothing to do with real discipline in regard to the child. When a parent spanks, paddles, inflicts physical punishment it does not end there typically. A lesson is typically given after but the resentment and/or lingering pain that a child is trying to cope with distracts from hearing and understanding the lesson the parent is teaching. This is why taking the time in the first place is actually more beneficial. And it is beneficial to both the parent and child.

If children see they can get a rise out of a parent (intellectually not knowing that this is what they are doing) then it can create a longer road for the parent getting the results they seek.

Teaching kids self control, accountability, consequences and other values without physical punishment may take more time in the moment but doing so goes a lot further in shaping them which is ideal for any human.

Sending a child to their room while the parent and child calms down helps to diffuse negative attention. And it causes a break in the attention seeking. The parent can also take the child out of an environment to isolate them, calm down the situation then take the time to impart a lesson when the time is right.
As kids get older the parent can use a value earned discipline system by taking something away whether it is a toy, electronics, a privilege or deductions from an allowance and then have the child earn back those things by having them do chores or some sort of work for privileges. This teaches the value of earning, self-discipline and consequence which they can take into their adulthood.

So I take my hat off to you and your parenting skills.