Spanking Child With Wooden Spoon Not Child Abuse, Says State Court

[Nevernose]

300. Here's a dialogue I have w/ students (seniors):

Mister Nevernose, how often do you whoop your kid? Is it all the time, is it hard? Do you mostly just scare her?

I've never laid a finger on her. I've yelled more loudly than I should have, and once I cussed at her, but I realized instantly I screwed up and apologized. But I've never laid a finger on her.

Isn't she all screwed up and in trouble and running around at night and stuff? How do you control her if you don't ever give her a whoppin'?

She's a really good kid. Dies what she's supposed to, not skanking around, no drugs or alcohol, works really hard at school, has a job, volunteers with younger kids, rarely talks back. She's not perfect, but we handle things.

And you never hit her?

Look: I teach the worst kids in this town, and some of those "worst kids" are the ones in this room. And have I ever had to hit any of you? Y'all do what I want and what needs to be done without hitting. It's not always perfect: we argue sometimes and some of y'all act up, but I never have to hit anyone.

And every time we have this dialogue, it ends with a classroom full of kids saying, "Holy shit. I never looked at it that way before."