General Discussion

Frances

(8,588 posts)

106. My general rule

Tue Oct 22, 2013, 05:31 PM

Oct 2013

Wait two days before sending or saying anything to anyone after you've been emotionally upset by something the other person said or did.

You can write a reply, but don't send it till you have time to read what you have written with a cool head.

You have a much better chance of succeeding in whatever your goal is if you are cool when you send the message.

This is a lesson I learned the hard way. I am still dealing with the consequences of responding while "hot."

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

122 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

I just hung up from being blindsided by a Tea-Party loving "friend" - I'm speechless, shocked. [View all] Ninga Oct 2013 OP

Can you share any more details of your conversation? n/t BeeBee Oct 2013 #1

Agree with your observation ChazII Oct 2013 #6

I'm so sorry. That sounds more than a little unpleasant cali Oct 2013 #2

Unpleasant is a mild word....I think that after reading thoughts here, it might just be best to Ninga Oct 2013 #34

let it go warrior1 Oct 2013 #3

my thoughts too. Don't let her hate drive your actions. nt TeamPooka Oct 2013 #20

Ok warrior1 - will dig deep for some humor....nt Ninga Oct 2013 #35

I can't stand basing relationships on party lines anymore Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #4

Good on ya. Common Sense Party Oct 2013 #11

Faking divisions? HangOnKids Oct 2013 #12

Yeah, I spell it that way Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #13

You're what the world calls an "adult." Dreamer Tatum Oct 2013 #21

You'd be doing her a favor to make sure she knows people outside her bubble think differently. Gidney N Cloyd Oct 2013 #5

I suggest a simple "YAFI" response..... Wounded Bear Oct 2013 #7

But you simply MUST follow this with hamsterjill Oct 2013 #41

And don't forget to add "bless your heart". (nt) IdaBriggs Oct 2013 #64

And a standard southern FU, janlyn Oct 2013 #109

+1! SammyWinstonJack Oct 2013 #98

I would send an email. grasswire Oct 2013 #8

I like this one. Voice for Peace Oct 2013 #102

Words of Wisdom.......... Flo Mingo Oct 2013 #9

Other sayings: SharonAnn Oct 2013 #38

ooh warrior1 Oct 2013 #10

Too late. She already had the last word. TeeYiYi Oct 2013 #14

Words of wisdom? Yeah sure. Ganja Ninja Oct 2013 #15

Their desperation is almost palpable. lpbk2713 Oct 2013 #16

don't waste your time and energy trying to change what can't be changed Whisp Oct 2013 #17

Shine It On! MineralMan Oct 2013 #18

I hope you hung up while she was still spewing thecrow Oct 2013 #74

"I cannot let her have the last word" - why? Let it go. If you will feel better, write her a patricia92243 Oct 2013 #19

Why respond at all? What good would it do? nt Dreamer Tatum Oct 2013 #22

Did she complain when the govt made car insurance mandatory? Rex Oct 2013 #23

Advice is not always easy to dispense Jenoch Oct 2013 #24

see post #29 and thanks. nt Ninga Oct 2013 #37

Find the source zipplewrath Oct 2013 #25

A few months ago I defriended from facebook my ex. Marrah_G Oct 2013 #26

I'm sorry about his accident, but to me political stuff isn't silly at all. Arugula Latte Oct 2013 #43

Sunday afternoon, I would have said the same thing Marrah_G Oct 2013 #72

I would say that almost all people are a little bit of each hfojvt Oct 2013 #73

Now this, I pretty much agree with... nomorenomore08 Oct 2013 #112

It is silly Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #53

oh dear Skittles Oct 2013 #76

Me too Skittles Marrah_G Oct 2013 #77

Your story tells us how life can change forever in one stinkin second. Hope you have a chance to Ninga Oct 2013 #97

One cannot reason with the brainwashed who have had hate drummed into the heart, soul, indepat Oct 2013 #27

Well said, narnian60 Oct 2013 #103

"nuclear level of hate" - saw it in person yesterday UTUSN Oct 2013 #28

His line about "Food Stamps" may have come from Newt Gingrich's description of the Democratic Party whathehell Oct 2013 #52

I'll try if there's a slight chance, but convincing is a lost cause. I'm curious about his sources. UTUSN Oct 2013 #56

He sounds like a lost cause, but whathehell Oct 2013 #122

oh my goodness thanks for responding. Here is the gist of the conversation. Ninga Oct 2013 #29

Obama phones? Did Glenn Beck tell her about those? Rex Oct 2013 #45

I guess I just applied for membership into your club. Sadly the more I read and experience, tells Ninga Oct 2013 #49

It is sad when you cannot have a honest discussion with friends. Rex Oct 2013 #60

I Hear About RobinA Oct 2013 #47

We applied for Medicaid for my mother and boy what a process! sammytko Oct 2013 #66

Bookmaring this thread for this post alone. IdaBriggs Oct 2013 #68

I wouldn't even attempt to correct her. Jenoch Oct 2013 #48

and I bet maryellen99 Oct 2013 #57

she's had way too much koolaid noiretextatique Oct 2013 #84

just FYI, your argument is for Plan E, not ACA MisterP Oct 2013 #88

Don't RobinA Oct 2013 #30

Word of Wisdom - Don't respond kydo Oct 2013 #31

Good analogy. Faux, etc. is their drug and harder to fight, they feel it's insulting their IQ. freshwest Oct 2013 #114

I agree with the 'no action needed' crowd..if you should run into her somewhere you might share.. Tikki Oct 2013 #32

First time I responded to something like that madamesilverspurs Oct 2013 #33

You can't reason someone out of a position they haven't been reasoned into. SharonAnn Oct 2013 #42

^^^^ What YOU said ^^^^ .. . .n/t annabanana Oct 2013 #70

Ooh! I'm stealing that! reflection Oct 2013 #90

Just remember that you are replying for YOU; not for her. hamsterjill Oct 2013 #36

Ask her if she's outraged that so much taxpayer money goes toward corporate welfare. Arugula Latte Oct 2013 #39

I really really tried to point that out - but she said that maybe if she saw corporate welfare Ninga Oct 2013 #44

Aargh! Frustrating. Arugula Latte Oct 2013 #121

I abandoned rational argument during the Bush era. I now employ the "Fuck Off" strategy. RagAss Oct 2013 #40

I agree except in this case, I was not prepared for what I heard and responded like a deer caught Ninga Oct 2013 #46

Then that's what you say to her leftynyc Oct 2013 #61

Anyone using those descriptive terms is likely beyond your reach. cleanhippie Oct 2013 #50

She will expire before Mother Earth and Father Time reach her. Ninga Oct 2013 #51

Call her and tell her pitbullgirl1965 Oct 2013 #92

I cut my losses, realize they are narrow-minded, selfish little people, and move on. ScreamingMeemie Oct 2013 #54

Thank you for extending sympathy... nt Ninga Oct 2013 #79

I Would Not Take It I Would Counter Attack So Viciously Verbally It Would Shake Her Soul TheMastersNemesis Oct 2013 #55

Rs are mentally ill and/or criminals, it's been known for decades Corruption Inc Oct 2013 #58

You are not alone in being shocked at the hate. CrispyQ Oct 2013 #59

That is one thing I tell people like that - quit working and go on welfare if it so great. sammytko Oct 2013 #69

That sounds like standard republican thinking, I was ecstatic Oct 2013 #62

My sister is the same way, but she votes Dem sammytko Oct 2013 #63

I'd probably say something like, "wow, that's some hateful shit!" Waiting For Everyman Oct 2013 #65

The first time BellaKos Oct 2013 #67

I fully understand your experience as the 9AM conversation I had today is still ringing in my ears. Ninga Oct 2013 #81

I think it is fear of minorities riverbendviewgal Oct 2013 #87

so sorry for the loss of a friend... handmade34 Oct 2013 #95

Put her on "ignore" and go on with your life. bvar22 Oct 2013 #71

I've had this experience, and so has almost everyone else I know -- very disturbing markpkessinger Oct 2013 #75

Congratulate her for being in a 25% minority of Americans. IllinoisBirdWatcher Oct 2013 #78

You should video record the next discussion and watch it with her afterwards. bravenak Oct 2013 #80

maybe just tell her you hope her heart can heal from all that anger and hatred-its not healthy CarrieLynne Oct 2013 #82

Tell Her: "Fear is the path to the dark side," cer7711 Oct 2013 #83

I doubt she's talking about EXXON. Spitfire of ATJ Oct 2013 #85

it hurts I know florida08 Oct 2013 #86

As hard as it is, let it go. reflection Oct 2013 #89

I got a letter from a relative this week .... Zen Democrat Oct 2013 #91

How do folks like that address Jesus saying "He breathed life into us." ? That's a serious question okaawhatever Oct 2013 #99

Let her think she "won". MynameisBlarney Oct 2013 #93

Save your sanity ctsnowman Oct 2013 #94

pause when agitated... stillcool Oct 2013 #96

Seriously, don't waste your time. roamer65 Oct 2013 #100

Just tell her you're sorry she's gotten addicted to hatred Warpy Oct 2013 #101

That's why I don't talk much politics with friends. Sissyk Oct 2013 #104

Been there done that myself fredamae Oct 2013 #105

My general rule Frances Oct 2013 #106

Say, "We disagree on things politically but I value your friendship too much to care." nt Demo_Chris Oct 2013 #107

I call people like your friend "goners" kimbutgar Oct 2013 #108

"Goners" BellaKos Oct 2013 #115

You're better off without this person in your life. Ilsa Oct 2013 #110

Exactly. It's about the hate. n/t BellaKos Oct 2013 #116

Thanks. I responded last night and I said a silent good-bye to her when I clicked "send." nt Ninga Oct 2013 #120

she was looking for liberal ears to unleash her frustration Liberal_in_LA Oct 2013 #111

Email her the saying "There but for the grace of God go I [or you]". kiranon Oct 2013 #113

I like to use this: Tbaggers scream about Obamaphones from their $10,000 govt paid Hover Rounds. ErikJ Oct 2013 #117

Here's point by point response. ErikJ Oct 2013 #118

Thanks a million! I used some of this in my late night email to her. I was polite, funny and met Ninga Oct 2013 #119