General Discussion

Ilsa

(64,443 posts)

110. You're better off without this person in your life.

Tue Oct 22, 2013, 09:42 PM

Oct 2013

I know you'll miss her, but the hatred and nastiness would have brought you down. Eventually, you would have been looking for ways to avoid her. I don't know how to tell you to end it, maybe stay away from politics, but tell her how bitter and vicious she's becoming about life and you don't want to be surrounded by negativity.

I know what I'm talking about: I lost a friend after the 2012 election. I didn't dismiss her as my friend because of her politics, but because of how ugly she was becoming, judging others, judging me, judging my parenting, judging the 47% while taking her own retirement paycheck for an 18 year career in the military. I missed her, but I realized that even when she was trying to make nice, it had to be on her terms only. It just wasn't worth it.

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I just hung up from being blindsided by a Tea-Party loving "friend" - I'm speechless, shocked. [View all] Ninga Oct 2013 OP

Can you share any more details of your conversation? n/t BeeBee Oct 2013 #1

Agree with your observation ChazII Oct 2013 #6

I'm so sorry. That sounds more than a little unpleasant cali Oct 2013 #2

Unpleasant is a mild word....I think that after reading thoughts here, it might just be best to Ninga Oct 2013 #34

let it go warrior1 Oct 2013 #3

my thoughts too. Don't let her hate drive your actions. nt TeamPooka Oct 2013 #20

Ok warrior1 - will dig deep for some humor....nt Ninga Oct 2013 #35

I can't stand basing relationships on party lines anymore Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #4

Good on ya. Common Sense Party Oct 2013 #11

Faking divisions? HangOnKids Oct 2013 #12

Yeah, I spell it that way Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #13

You're what the world calls an "adult." Dreamer Tatum Oct 2013 #21

You'd be doing her a favor to make sure she knows people outside her bubble think differently. Gidney N Cloyd Oct 2013 #5

I suggest a simple "YAFI" response..... Wounded Bear Oct 2013 #7

But you simply MUST follow this with hamsterjill Oct 2013 #41

And don't forget to add "bless your heart". (nt) IdaBriggs Oct 2013 #64

And a standard southern FU, janlyn Oct 2013 #109

+1! SammyWinstonJack Oct 2013 #98

I would send an email. grasswire Oct 2013 #8

I like this one. Voice for Peace Oct 2013 #102

Words of Wisdom.......... Flo Mingo Oct 2013 #9

Other sayings: SharonAnn Oct 2013 #38

ooh warrior1 Oct 2013 #10

Too late. She already had the last word. TeeYiYi Oct 2013 #14

Words of wisdom? Yeah sure. Ganja Ninja Oct 2013 #15

Their desperation is almost palpable. lpbk2713 Oct 2013 #16

don't waste your time and energy trying to change what can't be changed Whisp Oct 2013 #17

Shine It On! MineralMan Oct 2013 #18

I hope you hung up while she was still spewing thecrow Oct 2013 #74

"I cannot let her have the last word" - why? Let it go. If you will feel better, write her a patricia92243 Oct 2013 #19

Why respond at all? What good would it do? nt Dreamer Tatum Oct 2013 #22

Did she complain when the govt made car insurance mandatory? Rex Oct 2013 #23

Advice is not always easy to dispense Jenoch Oct 2013 #24

see post #29 and thanks. nt Ninga Oct 2013 #37

Find the source zipplewrath Oct 2013 #25

A few months ago I defriended from facebook my ex. Marrah_G Oct 2013 #26

I'm sorry about his accident, but to me political stuff isn't silly at all. Arugula Latte Oct 2013 #43

Sunday afternoon, I would have said the same thing Marrah_G Oct 2013 #72

I would say that almost all people are a little bit of each hfojvt Oct 2013 #73

Now this, I pretty much agree with... nomorenomore08 Oct 2013 #112

It is silly Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #53

oh dear Skittles Oct 2013 #76

Me too Skittles Marrah_G Oct 2013 #77

Your story tells us how life can change forever in one stinkin second. Hope you have a chance to Ninga Oct 2013 #97

One cannot reason with the brainwashed who have had hate drummed into the heart, soul, indepat Oct 2013 #27

Well said, narnian60 Oct 2013 #103

"nuclear level of hate" - saw it in person yesterday UTUSN Oct 2013 #28

His line about "Food Stamps" may have come from Newt Gingrich's description of the Democratic Party whathehell Oct 2013 #52

I'll try if there's a slight chance, but convincing is a lost cause. I'm curious about his sources. UTUSN Oct 2013 #56

He sounds like a lost cause, but whathehell Oct 2013 #122

oh my goodness thanks for responding. Here is the gist of the conversation. Ninga Oct 2013 #29

Obama phones? Did Glenn Beck tell her about those? Rex Oct 2013 #45

I guess I just applied for membership into your club. Sadly the more I read and experience, tells Ninga Oct 2013 #49

It is sad when you cannot have a honest discussion with friends. Rex Oct 2013 #60

I Hear About RobinA Oct 2013 #47

We applied for Medicaid for my mother and boy what a process! sammytko Oct 2013 #66

Bookmaring this thread for this post alone. IdaBriggs Oct 2013 #68

I wouldn't even attempt to correct her. Jenoch Oct 2013 #48

and I bet maryellen99 Oct 2013 #57

she's had way too much koolaid noiretextatique Oct 2013 #84

just FYI, your argument is for Plan E, not ACA MisterP Oct 2013 #88

Don't RobinA Oct 2013 #30

Word of Wisdom - Don't respond kydo Oct 2013 #31

Good analogy. Faux, etc. is their drug and harder to fight, they feel it's insulting their IQ. freshwest Oct 2013 #114

I agree with the 'no action needed' crowd..if you should run into her somewhere you might share.. Tikki Oct 2013 #32

First time I responded to something like that madamesilverspurs Oct 2013 #33

You can't reason someone out of a position they haven't been reasoned into. SharonAnn Oct 2013 #42

^^^^ What YOU said ^^^^ .. . .n/t annabanana Oct 2013 #70

Ooh! I'm stealing that! reflection Oct 2013 #90

Just remember that you are replying for YOU; not for her. hamsterjill Oct 2013 #36

Ask her if she's outraged that so much taxpayer money goes toward corporate welfare. Arugula Latte Oct 2013 #39

I really really tried to point that out - but she said that maybe if she saw corporate welfare Ninga Oct 2013 #44

Aargh! Frustrating. Arugula Latte Oct 2013 #121

I abandoned rational argument during the Bush era. I now employ the "Fuck Off" strategy. RagAss Oct 2013 #40

I agree except in this case, I was not prepared for what I heard and responded like a deer caught Ninga Oct 2013 #46

Then that's what you say to her leftynyc Oct 2013 #61

Anyone using those descriptive terms is likely beyond your reach. cleanhippie Oct 2013 #50

She will expire before Mother Earth and Father Time reach her. Ninga Oct 2013 #51

Call her and tell her pitbullgirl1965 Oct 2013 #92

I cut my losses, realize they are narrow-minded, selfish little people, and move on. ScreamingMeemie Oct 2013 #54

Thank you for extending sympathy... nt Ninga Oct 2013 #79

I Would Not Take It I Would Counter Attack So Viciously Verbally It Would Shake Her Soul TheMastersNemesis Oct 2013 #55

Rs are mentally ill and/or criminals, it's been known for decades Corruption Inc Oct 2013 #58

You are not alone in being shocked at the hate. CrispyQ Oct 2013 #59

That is one thing I tell people like that - quit working and go on welfare if it so great. sammytko Oct 2013 #69

That sounds like standard republican thinking, I was ecstatic Oct 2013 #62

My sister is the same way, but she votes Dem sammytko Oct 2013 #63

I'd probably say something like, "wow, that's some hateful shit!" Waiting For Everyman Oct 2013 #65

The first time BellaKos Oct 2013 #67

I fully understand your experience as the 9AM conversation I had today is still ringing in my ears. Ninga Oct 2013 #81

I think it is fear of minorities riverbendviewgal Oct 2013 #87

so sorry for the loss of a friend... handmade34 Oct 2013 #95

Put her on "ignore" and go on with your life. bvar22 Oct 2013 #71

I've had this experience, and so has almost everyone else I know -- very disturbing markpkessinger Oct 2013 #75

Congratulate her for being in a 25% minority of Americans. IllinoisBirdWatcher Oct 2013 #78

You should video record the next discussion and watch it with her afterwards. bravenak Oct 2013 #80

maybe just tell her you hope her heart can heal from all that anger and hatred-its not healthy CarrieLynne Oct 2013 #82

Tell Her: "Fear is the path to the dark side," cer7711 Oct 2013 #83

I doubt she's talking about EXXON. Spitfire of ATJ Oct 2013 #85

it hurts I know florida08 Oct 2013 #86

As hard as it is, let it go. reflection Oct 2013 #89

I got a letter from a relative this week .... Zen Democrat Oct 2013 #91

How do folks like that address Jesus saying "He breathed life into us." ? That's a serious question okaawhatever Oct 2013 #99

Let her think she "won". MynameisBlarney Oct 2013 #93

Save your sanity ctsnowman Oct 2013 #94

pause when agitated... stillcool Oct 2013 #96

Seriously, don't waste your time. roamer65 Oct 2013 #100

Just tell her you're sorry she's gotten addicted to hatred Warpy Oct 2013 #101

That's why I don't talk much politics with friends. Sissyk Oct 2013 #104

Been there done that myself fredamae Oct 2013 #105

My general rule Frances Oct 2013 #106

Say, "We disagree on things politically but I value your friendship too much to care." nt Demo_Chris Oct 2013 #107

I call people like your friend "goners" kimbutgar Oct 2013 #108

"Goners" BellaKos Oct 2013 #115

You're better off without this person in your life. Ilsa Oct 2013 #110

Exactly. It's about the hate. n/t BellaKos Oct 2013 #116

Thanks. I responded last night and I said a silent good-bye to her when I clicked "send." nt Ninga Oct 2013 #120

she was looking for liberal ears to unleash her frustration Liberal_in_LA Oct 2013 #111

Email her the saying "There but for the grace of God go I [or you]". kiranon Oct 2013 #113

I like to use this: Tbaggers scream about Obamaphones from their $10,000 govt paid Hover Rounds. ErikJ Oct 2013 #117

Here's point by point response. ErikJ Oct 2013 #118

Thanks a million! I used some of this in my late night email to her. I was polite, funny and met Ninga Oct 2013 #119