Bullying may have motivated Nevada school shooter

[hunter]

44. My nickname in middle and high school was "queerbait."

Usually something like "get out of my way, queerbait." THUMP.

My personal victory in high school was when one of my tormentors called me that. I saw the vice principal watching and I whispered to the bully, "You want me."

The dude beat me good and bloody, which wasn't too bad. I was used to that.

Eventually I won. Soon after the school administrators let me quit high school for college.

My mom rejected the Catholic church for the Jehovah's Witnesses, and when the Witnesses rejected her for her political activism, the Quakers. Pacifism has probably saved my life. One of my grandfathers was a pacifist during World War II. They put him to work building Liberty and Victory ships. His choice, that or jail. He told them no way, he wasn't going to kill anyone. The police once beat him up for protesting the Japanese internment. My mom, a little kid at the time, was with him. Seeing the cops beat up your dad leaves an impression on a kid.

I'm a radical left wing Catholic heretic pacifist.

I think berserker is in my genes. Unlike the skinny squeaky weird kid I was in high school I grew to become something else. Not always a "nice" person, but I've never felt like killing anyone or myself, even in brief moments of bloody horror.

I do my best to avoid violence. I don't like blood unless it's donated, well labeled and tested in a bag, sent to someone who desperately needs it.

Professionally my wife and my sister deal with horrors almost every day. My mom's had jobs like that too. I don't have what it takes to do that.