General Discussion

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)

78. Heh. I have a funny umbilical cord story.

Fri Nov 1, 2013, 04:45 PM

Nov 2013

You know, they clamp it after cutting it, right (at least those who aren't going the "lotus birth" route) and you have this thing that looks like one of those potato chip bag clips, on the baby's belly, and of course what's left sort of dries up and falls off. Some people save that thing, I guess... sort of icky. But anyway, we had our baby at home for a couple days, and I was changing a diaper and was like "Oh, that's weird, it's gone".

Didn't really think too much of it, until I was unloading the washing machine a couple days later and I was like "what is this... a pork rind? No one in the family eats... oh, ewwwwwwwwwwwww"

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I Did Not Cut My Baby's Umbilical Cord for Six Days So We Could Have a Natural "Lotus Birth" Just [View all] cali Nov 2013 OP

I've heard of this gollygee Nov 2013 #1

It's pretty messed up. Sheldon Cooper Nov 2013 #47

I agree. delta17 Nov 2013 #96

Homebirth is for wusses. Barack_America Nov 2013 #69

You'll at least let her bite the cord, yes? jberryhill Nov 2013 #76

You'll have a rice paddy? You took the easy way out! I'm having my next child on the center Squinch Nov 2013 #81

Rice Paddy? My woman will hang from a branch the way nature intended... Demo_Chris Nov 2013 #91

I don't know why Prism Nov 2013 #2

If she really wanted to be authentically natural she should have eaten the placenta The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2013 #3

Some do. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #6

Agree. Live and let live. 1000words Nov 2013 #8

it has the potential to. this woman is handing out some cali Nov 2013 #20

I think it's an interesting cultural phenomenon cali Nov 2013 #14

And there's a move from home birth to unassisted birth too gollygee Nov 2013 #18

Unassisted birth is not natural. Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #38

Well she's comparing her birth to an animals birth, not a person's birth gollygee Nov 2013 #42

Of course I was referring to the human world. Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #57

But we're people, not animals (in the "animal" sense) frazzled Nov 2013 #58

She mentions in the article that she's a vegan Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #60

Yeah, but if you could lick your own balls... jberryhill Nov 2013 #77

"Natural" does not necessarily always mean "better." Chan790 Nov 2013 #127

Oh, no doubt there is some fetishizing laundry_queen Nov 2013 #31

it's a bit more extreme than that cali Nov 2013 #37

Yep, heard that all too. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #45

So she doesn't know what causes autism? KamaAina Nov 2013 #54

Well, I agree with some of the sentiment Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #63

Polio is caused by jealousy?? Did I just read that???? arcane1 Nov 2013 #79

Well, there was Doctor Spock Turbineguy Nov 2013 #80

wtf is that shit? MattBaggins Nov 2013 #88

Placenta lasagna WilliamPitt Nov 2013 #11

Was the doctor a Vet and is Lola a dog? fadedrose Nov 2013 #30

He was not endorsing the practice. WilliamPitt Nov 2013 #65

I met a woman who prepares/cooks them for a living. NoOneMan Nov 2013 #53

You really had me going fadedrose Nov 2013 #4

I'm not sure it is a parody... Quantess Nov 2013 #10

It's not a joke. enlightenment Nov 2013 #12

They also lose the opportunity to harvest cord blood/stem cells in case little Ulysses has a birth MADem Nov 2013 #17

Indeed, enlightenment Nov 2013 #23

If only he'd had more strength, he'd have beaten them about the face and neck with the MADem Nov 2013 #27

Yeah. enlightenment Nov 2013 #43

I knew it wasn't a joke, but I read it at first as tho Cali had done this thing.... fadedrose Nov 2013 #19

Ah. enlightenment Nov 2013 #24

And thank goodness fadedrose Nov 2013 #26

The OP didn't mean that it actually IS a parody-- tblue37 Nov 2013 #21

That's how the publishers of the "Onion" felt. Auntie Bush Nov 2013 #32

I never thought it was a parody fadedrose Nov 2013 #35

Ahhh--I see. Sorry. But, yeah, I do wish everyone would do more to make tblue37 Nov 2013 #44

What's next? Hayabusa Nov 2013 #5

that's nasty mshasta Nov 2013 #7

Reminds me of a skit from IIRC "In Living Color" notadmblnd Nov 2013 #9

It's pretty pathetic when the newborn is smarter than the damn parents. MADem Nov 2013 #13

lol. cali Nov 2013 #16

Perhaps that's how the myth of baby Hercules strangling the two serpents in his cradle came about? Uncle Joe Nov 2013 #29

The second serpent might have been his penis. nt Xipe Totec Nov 2013 #33

Well there are snakes that can make themselves stiff. Uncle Joe Nov 2013 #70

In Spanish, the word "tentáculo" can be broken down into it's component parts: Xipe Totec Nov 2013 #94

Here's another Deep Thought to ponder. Uncle Joe Nov 2013 #97

touché tush. Xipe Totec Nov 2013 #98

Ulysses was probably trying to strangle his mama with that umbilical cord!! MADem Nov 2013 #34

Parents like that Tansy_Gold Nov 2013 #46

So guests must look DOWN when walking round their house! Lovely! nt MADem Nov 2013 #48

Guests? guests? n/t Tansy_Gold Nov 2013 #61

Idiocracy in action. n/t MadrasT Nov 2013 #15

I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth. Arkana Nov 2013 #22

LOL @ "Other animals chew the cord off shortly after birth..." NYC_SKP Nov 2013 #25

That's the dumbest shit ever laundry_queen Nov 2013 #36

Animals copulate in public too...so where do they draw the line in copying animal behavior? Auntie Bush Nov 2013 #41

There's this thing called a "knife" that homonids invented, oh, a million years ago Retrograde Nov 2013 #59

Other animals chew the cord off Mariana Nov 2013 #73

Hide the good China seveneyes Nov 2013 #28

(>.<) Puzzledtraveller Nov 2013 #39

"If you don't have a drug-free vaginal birth, you're not really a mother!!" Manifestor_of_Light Nov 2013 #40

Well, that's a bit of hyperbole laundry_queen Nov 2013 #49

The hole in your pelvis has to be four inches across in both directions. Manifestor_of_Light Nov 2013 #55

The people who insist that all women must give birth "naturally" Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #64

You don't need to lecture me on how a pelvis works thanks. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #86

It Appears That RobinA Nov 2013 #120

No problem with her decision laundry_queen Nov 2013 #121

Perhaps, when you had your child, the conventional wisdom was much different than it is today. FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #116

Who do you know that has "died...from a c-section"? Barack_America Nov 2013 #67

Google it. It's well known. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #83

A title would be useful Mariana Nov 2013 #107

I don't remember. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #111

Here is a link to a Discovery Health article that lists C-section complication risks. FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #113

Thanks, I'm an MD, I'm aware of the numbers. Barack_America Nov 2013 #123

I didn't see anyone question that. What has been said is that they are overperformed. FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #125

I would be dead get the red out Nov 2013 #52

Well - I'm the flip side of that - Ms. Toad Nov 2013 #132

It's hard to know get the red out Nov 2013 #133

That sort of 'you're not really a mother!' crap pisses me off. HappyMe Nov 2013 #56

I am going to go out on a limb here vanlassie Nov 2013 #114

some. crazy. shit. spanone Nov 2013 #50

Mmmmmm, yeah, leave that gangrenous hunk of tissue attached to your newborn......... kestrel91316 Nov 2013 #51

"our baby Ulysses...detached it by himself" - Fuck that, he said. polichick Nov 2013 #62

He was probably worried she would take him bungee jumping Tyrs WolfDaemon Nov 2013 #92

So it's all good. I can eat my boogers in public now. Monk06 Nov 2013 #66

And if the urge strikes you to throw shit... Barack_America Nov 2013 #68

These natural birthers are nuts taught_me_patience Nov 2013 #71

All natural birthers aren't nuts. Just this particular subgroup. n/t pnwmom Nov 2013 #103

no blanket statements, please... handmade34 Nov 2013 #104

My last hospital birth went so poorly that i decided to deliver my last baby at home FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #110

we have raised the standards of motherhood so much La Lioness Priyanka Nov 2013 #72

6 days? MFM008 Nov 2013 #74

dumbass JI7 Nov 2013 #75

Heh. I have a funny umbilical cord story. Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #78

LOL that's funny. nt laundry_queen Nov 2013 #87

LOL. WTF? Cali_Democrat Nov 2013 #82

We donated the cord blood. Boom Sound 416 Nov 2013 #84

She has limits ... GeorgeGist Nov 2013 #85

Exactly the sort of parents who would name their baby "Ulysses." nt Codeine Nov 2013 #89

One of the original (from 2001) DUers used that handle. They haven't posted here since 2012. Electric Monk Nov 2013 #95

If it was good enough for Ulysses S. Grant....(n/t) Retrograde Nov 2013 #100

raw food diet.. anti vaxxer MattBaggins Nov 2013 #90

Breastfeeding the kid until he's 5. nt RiffRandell Nov 2013 #131

Meh. Go to mothering.com forums, this stuff is all over there. Butterbean Nov 2013 #93

Oh, ICK! theHandpuppet Nov 2013 #99

Looks like the baby could have been strangled fried eggs Nov 2013 #101

My thoughts too. B Calm Nov 2013 #128

There's so much woo here... especially the "be like the animals!" stuff. Scootaloo Nov 2013 #102

I delivered my youngest at home four months ago FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #105

It is kinda funny that the kid Lunacee_2013 Nov 2013 #106

"Just Like Chimpanzees." ?? Coyotl Nov 2013 #108

Once the cord stops pulsating, the placenta serves no useful purpose. likesmountains 52 Nov 2013 #109

Curious. How many men are responding BlueToTheBone Nov 2013 #112

why would it matter ? JI7 Nov 2013 #118

I would think that BlueToTheBone Nov 2013 #122

Maybe only pregnant women, or those who can/plan to get pregnant should The Straight Story Nov 2013 #126

If she'd let it go for seven days, she would have been week. Orrex Nov 2013 #115

Shows how ignorant people are of science. greatlaurel Nov 2013 #117

I am just curious, did your c-section delivery begin as an induction? FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #119

Ackety. lonestarnot Nov 2013 #124

Reminds me of the Time Magazine threads: joshcryer Nov 2013 #129

I actually found the piece to be comforting in a way..... virtualobserver Nov 2013 #130