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Squinch

(58,937 posts)

81. You'll have a rice paddy? You took the easy way out! I'm having my next child on the center

Fri Nov 1, 2013, 04:51 PM

Nov 2013

median of I95 right at that danger spot where the trucks tend to lose control.

During a snowstorm.

Wearing a hair shirt.

While a drill sergeant makes me do push-ups.

So there!

Click here to purchase valentine hearts!

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I Did Not Cut My Baby's Umbilical Cord for Six Days So We Could Have a Natural "Lotus Birth" Just [View all] cali Nov 2013 OP

I've heard of this gollygee Nov 2013 #1

It's pretty messed up. Sheldon Cooper Nov 2013 #47

I agree. delta17 Nov 2013 #96

Homebirth is for wusses. Barack_America Nov 2013 #69

You'll at least let her bite the cord, yes? jberryhill Nov 2013 #76

You'll have a rice paddy? You took the easy way out! I'm having my next child on the center Squinch Nov 2013 #81

Rice Paddy? My woman will hang from a branch the way nature intended... Demo_Chris Nov 2013 #91

I don't know why Prism Nov 2013 #2

If she really wanted to be authentically natural she should have eaten the placenta The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2013 #3

Some do. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #6

Agree. Live and let live. 1000words Nov 2013 #8

it has the potential to. this woman is handing out some cali Nov 2013 #20

I think it's an interesting cultural phenomenon cali Nov 2013 #14

And there's a move from home birth to unassisted birth too gollygee Nov 2013 #18

Unassisted birth is not natural. Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #38

Well she's comparing her birth to an animals birth, not a person's birth gollygee Nov 2013 #42

Of course I was referring to the human world. Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #57

But we're people, not animals (in the "animal" sense) frazzled Nov 2013 #58

She mentions in the article that she's a vegan Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #60

Yeah, but if you could lick your own balls... jberryhill Nov 2013 #77

"Natural" does not necessarily always mean "better." Chan790 Nov 2013 #127

Oh, no doubt there is some fetishizing laundry_queen Nov 2013 #31

it's a bit more extreme than that cali Nov 2013 #37

Yep, heard that all too. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #45

So she doesn't know what causes autism? KamaAina Nov 2013 #54

Well, I agree with some of the sentiment Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #63

Polio is caused by jealousy?? Did I just read that???? arcane1 Nov 2013 #79

Well, there was Doctor Spock Turbineguy Nov 2013 #80

wtf is that shit? MattBaggins Nov 2013 #88

Placenta lasagna WilliamPitt Nov 2013 #11

Was the doctor a Vet and is Lola a dog? fadedrose Nov 2013 #30

He was not endorsing the practice. WilliamPitt Nov 2013 #65

I met a woman who prepares/cooks them for a living. NoOneMan Nov 2013 #53

You really had me going fadedrose Nov 2013 #4

I'm not sure it is a parody... Quantess Nov 2013 #10

It's not a joke. enlightenment Nov 2013 #12

They also lose the opportunity to harvest cord blood/stem cells in case little Ulysses has a birth MADem Nov 2013 #17

Indeed, enlightenment Nov 2013 #23

If only he'd had more strength, he'd have beaten them about the face and neck with the MADem Nov 2013 #27

Yeah. enlightenment Nov 2013 #43

I knew it wasn't a joke, but I read it at first as tho Cali had done this thing.... fadedrose Nov 2013 #19

Ah. enlightenment Nov 2013 #24

And thank goodness fadedrose Nov 2013 #26

The OP didn't mean that it actually IS a parody-- tblue37 Nov 2013 #21

That's how the publishers of the "Onion" felt. Auntie Bush Nov 2013 #32

I never thought it was a parody fadedrose Nov 2013 #35

Ahhh--I see. Sorry. But, yeah, I do wish everyone would do more to make tblue37 Nov 2013 #44

What's next? Hayabusa Nov 2013 #5

that's nasty mshasta Nov 2013 #7

Reminds me of a skit from IIRC "In Living Color" notadmblnd Nov 2013 #9

It's pretty pathetic when the newborn is smarter than the damn parents. MADem Nov 2013 #13

lol. cali Nov 2013 #16

Perhaps that's how the myth of baby Hercules strangling the two serpents in his cradle came about? Uncle Joe Nov 2013 #29

The second serpent might have been his penis. nt Xipe Totec Nov 2013 #33

Well there are snakes that can make themselves stiff. Uncle Joe Nov 2013 #70

In Spanish, the word "tentáculo" can be broken down into it's component parts: Xipe Totec Nov 2013 #94

Here's another Deep Thought to ponder. Uncle Joe Nov 2013 #97

touché tush. Xipe Totec Nov 2013 #98

Ulysses was probably trying to strangle his mama with that umbilical cord!! MADem Nov 2013 #34

Parents like that Tansy_Gold Nov 2013 #46

So guests must look DOWN when walking round their house! Lovely! nt MADem Nov 2013 #48

Guests? guests? n/t Tansy_Gold Nov 2013 #61

Idiocracy in action. n/t MadrasT Nov 2013 #15

I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth. Arkana Nov 2013 #22

LOL @ "Other animals chew the cord off shortly after birth..." NYC_SKP Nov 2013 #25

That's the dumbest shit ever laundry_queen Nov 2013 #36

Animals copulate in public too...so where do they draw the line in copying animal behavior? Auntie Bush Nov 2013 #41

There's this thing called a "knife" that homonids invented, oh, a million years ago Retrograde Nov 2013 #59

Other animals chew the cord off Mariana Nov 2013 #73

Hide the good China seveneyes Nov 2013 #28

(>.<) Puzzledtraveller Nov 2013 #39

"If you don't have a drug-free vaginal birth, you're not really a mother!!" Manifestor_of_Light Nov 2013 #40

Well, that's a bit of hyperbole laundry_queen Nov 2013 #49

The hole in your pelvis has to be four inches across in both directions. Manifestor_of_Light Nov 2013 #55

The people who insist that all women must give birth "naturally" Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #64

You don't need to lecture me on how a pelvis works thanks. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #86

It Appears That RobinA Nov 2013 #120

No problem with her decision laundry_queen Nov 2013 #121

Perhaps, when you had your child, the conventional wisdom was much different than it is today. FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #116

Who do you know that has "died...from a c-section"? Barack_America Nov 2013 #67

Google it. It's well known. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #83

A title would be useful Mariana Nov 2013 #107

I don't remember. laundry_queen Nov 2013 #111

Here is a link to a Discovery Health article that lists C-section complication risks. FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #113

Thanks, I'm an MD, I'm aware of the numbers. Barack_America Nov 2013 #123

I didn't see anyone question that. What has been said is that they are overperformed. FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #125

I would be dead get the red out Nov 2013 #52

Well - I'm the flip side of that - Ms. Toad Nov 2013 #132

It's hard to know get the red out Nov 2013 #133

That sort of 'you're not really a mother!' crap pisses me off. HappyMe Nov 2013 #56

I am going to go out on a limb here vanlassie Nov 2013 #114

some. crazy. shit. spanone Nov 2013 #50

Mmmmmm, yeah, leave that gangrenous hunk of tissue attached to your newborn......... kestrel91316 Nov 2013 #51

"our baby Ulysses...detached it by himself" - Fuck that, he said. polichick Nov 2013 #62

He was probably worried she would take him bungee jumping Tyrs WolfDaemon Nov 2013 #92

So it's all good. I can eat my boogers in public now. Monk06 Nov 2013 #66

And if the urge strikes you to throw shit... Barack_America Nov 2013 #68

These natural birthers are nuts taught_me_patience Nov 2013 #71

All natural birthers aren't nuts. Just this particular subgroup. n/t pnwmom Nov 2013 #103

no blanket statements, please... handmade34 Nov 2013 #104

My last hospital birth went so poorly that i decided to deliver my last baby at home FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #110

we have raised the standards of motherhood so much La Lioness Priyanka Nov 2013 #72

6 days? MFM008 Nov 2013 #74

dumbass JI7 Nov 2013 #75

Heh. I have a funny umbilical cord story. Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #78

LOL that's funny. nt laundry_queen Nov 2013 #87

LOL. WTF? Cali_Democrat Nov 2013 #82

We donated the cord blood. Boom Sound 416 Nov 2013 #84

She has limits ... GeorgeGist Nov 2013 #85

Exactly the sort of parents who would name their baby "Ulysses." nt Codeine Nov 2013 #89

One of the original (from 2001) DUers used that handle. They haven't posted here since 2012. Electric Monk Nov 2013 #95

If it was good enough for Ulysses S. Grant....(n/t) Retrograde Nov 2013 #100

raw food diet.. anti vaxxer MattBaggins Nov 2013 #90

Breastfeeding the kid until he's 5. nt RiffRandell Nov 2013 #131

Meh. Go to mothering.com forums, this stuff is all over there. Butterbean Nov 2013 #93

Oh, ICK! theHandpuppet Nov 2013 #99

Looks like the baby could have been strangled fried eggs Nov 2013 #101

My thoughts too. B Calm Nov 2013 #128

There's so much woo here... especially the "be like the animals!" stuff. Scootaloo Nov 2013 #102

I delivered my youngest at home four months ago FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #105

It is kinda funny that the kid Lunacee_2013 Nov 2013 #106

"Just Like Chimpanzees." ?? Coyotl Nov 2013 #108

Once the cord stops pulsating, the placenta serves no useful purpose. likesmountains 52 Nov 2013 #109

Curious. How many men are responding BlueToTheBone Nov 2013 #112

why would it matter ? JI7 Nov 2013 #118

I would think that BlueToTheBone Nov 2013 #122

Maybe only pregnant women, or those who can/plan to get pregnant should The Straight Story Nov 2013 #126

If she'd let it go for seven days, she would have been week. Orrex Nov 2013 #115

Shows how ignorant people are of science. greatlaurel Nov 2013 #117

I am just curious, did your c-section delivery begin as an induction? FedUpWithIt All Nov 2013 #119

Ackety. lonestarnot Nov 2013 #124

Reminds me of the Time Magazine threads: joshcryer Nov 2013 #129

I actually found the piece to be comforting in a way..... virtualobserver Nov 2013 #130