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In reply to the discussion: Adoption harms women. [View all]
 

rug

(82,333 posts)
32. It's a choice. All choices have risks and benefits.
Wed Nov 13, 2013, 08:24 PM
Nov 2013

For many it is indeed an (imperfect) solution, as are all other choices.

The best interests of the child standard is used when determining custody, not pregnancy. Unless you're now saying there are other considerations at play beyond the woman's.

Adoption harms women. [View all] REP Nov 2013 OP
i've been lucky and careful.... Scout Nov 2013 #1
I'm in mostly the same boat. wickerwoman Nov 2013 #20
Pre-birth matching is inherently coercive. It puts the prospective birth mother in a position of StevieM Nov 2013 #96
So..you would abort your child....no problem.. But adoption of that same child is not an option:? Beausoir Nov 2013 #128
It's a foetus. Her Body Her Choice. I assume you support Democratic Party platform. idwiyo Nov 2013 #143
reading comprehension honey--practice it Scout Nov 2013 #151
Judgmental much? n/t ohheckyeah Nov 2013 #158
i bet given the choice they would choose being adopted rather than being aborted leftyohiolib Nov 2013 #2
Who? REP Nov 2013 #4
They would never know the difference. roody Nov 2013 #5
By that logic it's a-ok to blast someone in a coma... Decaffeinated Nov 2013 #24
Seriously? Textbook anti-choicer. PeaceNikki Nov 2013 #48
Someone in a coma is a person. A fetus is not a person. Mariana Nov 2013 #114
Circular logic... Decaffeinated Nov 2013 #145
HA! the old Reagan "I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born" argument PeaceNikki Nov 2013 #17
Being adopted is complicated me b zola Nov 2013 #21
The adoptees I know are very, very pro-choice REP Nov 2013 #33
Wow. What a nonsensical comment HERVEPA Nov 2013 #28
And you probably don't even realize what an anti-choice talking point that is... nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #34
Please explain further. Raine1967 Nov 2013 #66
Do you always eradicate the women from this? Warpy Nov 2013 #82
. PeaceNikki Nov 2013 #83
So perfectly stated. I want to save a copy of this post for future reference. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #86
"animated flowerpots"!!... SidDithers Nov 2013 #101
As usual, perfectly stated! Tumbulu Nov 2013 #106
+1 nt laundry_queen Nov 2013 #123
Comment straight out of forced-birthers manual. idwiyo Nov 2013 #144
Pinocchio can't be wrong! Major Nikon Nov 2013 #162
I was told that by a social worker who had a counseling practice and saw women who had CTyankee Nov 2013 #3
Many women and children were victims of Georgia Tann and her ilk REP Nov 2013 #6
geez, what a monster! CTyankee Nov 2013 #7
Yet she was lauded by Eleanor Roosevelt, Pearl Buck and others REP Nov 2013 #8
Human trafficking is loathsome but it is inevitable when sanctions against abortion are in place. CTyankee Nov 2013 #9
Unfortunately, it's still happening REP Nov 2013 #12
Georgia Tann is largely responsible for the framework of modern adoptions me b zola Nov 2013 #23
And wasn't it Joan crawford who abused her child so horribly Auntie Bush Nov 2013 #36
Georgia Tann sold Joan Crawford three children REP Nov 2013 #47
That's so Republican! Walk away Nov 2013 #69
Been there, done that. Blue_In_AK Nov 2013 #111
I've been told by people that had practice with adoption Beausoir Nov 2013 #121
was wondering where you were my sister... you can always be depended on to provide boston bean Nov 2013 #10
Glad to help! REP Nov 2013 #11
Thank you. This cannot be said often enough me b zola Nov 2013 #25
I have three cousins (siblings) and two friends (also siblings) who were adopted as infants. Jenoch Nov 2013 #13
I'm sure they are. I hope their mothers relinquished of their own free will. REP Nov 2013 #14
I have no idea of the circumstances of their adoptions. Jenoch Nov 2013 #16
Read the article and see about extreme REP Nov 2013 #18
I read the first page. Jenoch Nov 2013 #22
Yes. REP Nov 2013 #31
I read the entire article and you are mistaken. Jenoch Nov 2013 #41
how is a Genealogical society not objective? Raine1967 Nov 2013 #72
You're going on a 100 year old case study? B2G Nov 2013 #74
It actually hasn't. Raine1967 Nov 2013 #80
Using the word "most" seems accurate to me StevieM Nov 2013 #97
I prefer facts to 'seems accurate'. Jenoch Nov 2013 #120
The fact is that birth mothers never forget their children, and in many cases grieve for them StevieM Nov 2013 #122
I do not dispute that, and never have. Jenoch Nov 2013 #126
About ten years ago I worked with a young woman who opted to have her baby and did not CTyankee Nov 2013 #15
Outlaw adoption. rug Nov 2013 #19
You forgot the sarcasm thingy B2G Nov 2013 #26
Outlaw coercive "crisis pregnancy centers" REP Nov 2013 #29
It's a choice. All choices have risks and benefits. rug Nov 2013 #32
Adoption is an alternative to parenting, not pregnancy. REP Nov 2013 #35
You're repeating yourself. So will I. rug Nov 2013 #40
I think women think about these things before the pregnancy even occurs REP Nov 2013 #42
It is an option. One they elected not to take. That's choice. rug Nov 2013 #44
Your argument makes little sense. Adoption is a choice AFTER the pregnancy is over. REP Nov 2013 #49
It makes emininent sense. I'll break it down for you. rug Nov 2013 #57
Okay. REP Nov 2013 #85
Choice. rug Nov 2013 #93
A pregnant woman IS NOT a birth mother. She is an expectant mother. StevieM Nov 2013 #98
What do you think the expectant mother is expecting? rug Nov 2013 #117
The thing is gollygee Nov 2013 #56
That is a good distinction. rug Nov 2013 #67
But if there's no more pregnancy, then there's nothing else to consider REP Nov 2013 #68
The fact that adoption exists can affect that decision. rug Nov 2013 #70
That's pretty weak sauce, dude. REP Nov 2013 #71
That's pretty lame rebuttal, bub. rug Nov 2013 #73
I think many churches have a negative reaction to NOT giving up your baby for adoption StevieM Nov 2013 #99
What churches claim they believe gollygee Nov 2013 #147
AMEN!!! Pregnancy resource centers prey on the vulnerable. Women often go to them for help, StevieM Nov 2013 #116
It really did a number on my mother me b zola Nov 2013 #27
My mother-in-law was forcefully relinquished at 6 months of age REP Nov 2013 #30
Adoption IS an option B2G Nov 2013 #37
Adoption is an option to parenting, not pregnancy REP Nov 2013 #39
Well thanks for stating the obvious nt B2G Nov 2013 #45
Sadly, it doesn't seem so obvious to some. REP Nov 2013 #50
What exactly are you trying to accomplidh here? B2G Nov 2013 #52
What makes you think that? REP Nov 2013 #53
Don't be fucking coy B2G Nov 2013 #54
I cited scientific studies that found that adoption harms women REP Nov 2013 #64
The pain and suffering of birth parents offends me (eom) StevieM Nov 2013 #104
When soldiers talk about the ill effects of war (PTSD), are they demonizing military service? me b zola Nov 2013 #84
What personal experience do you have? B2G Nov 2013 #89
In 1963 my mother was forced to relinquish me me b zola Nov 2013 #95
You brought tears to my eyes with this story. And another issue to address--sealed birth records. StevieM Nov 2013 #102
Most modern adoptions are open, or some variation on open. kwassa Nov 2013 #108
First of all, many women who were forced to relinquish before open adoptions StevieM Nov 2013 #110
See the link I gave to the article in The Nation in this thread about that REP Nov 2013 #115
Yep, it does. And the media rarely acknowledges it. Somehow it has escaped the coverage during StevieM Nov 2013 #119
If you believe that, then you should meet the modern women of relinquishment that I speak to online me b zola Nov 2013 #153
and just where do you get your information? kwassa Nov 2013 #154
There are NO legal protections for a women who relinquishes her child to "open" adoption me b zola Nov 2013 #155
It would be better for you to provide some links rather than some absurd assertions. kwassa Nov 2013 #156
Yeah, okay. I got your number now me b zola Nov 2013 #157
And their children were often told lies about their mothers REP Nov 2013 #113
Thank you for sharing your story. PeaceNikki Nov 2013 #43
Your mother, and other first mothers, have a special place in my heart. StevieM Nov 2013 #100
I am an adoptee who has found her birth mother Marrah_G Nov 2013 #38
Ditto! B2G Nov 2013 #46
Some of the posts in the abortion threads and in this thread really bother me Marrah_G Nov 2013 #51
I agree with you. newcriminal Nov 2013 #55
Agreed. Union Scribe Nov 2013 #58
I'm right there with you and I'm backing out B2G Nov 2013 #59
Oh you needn't worry about being banned. Sheldon Cooper Nov 2013 #105
Adoption is a parenting choice, and it should be made freely REP Nov 2013 #60
Too late to save your shitty thread now. B2G Nov 2013 #61
From you? I agree. REP Nov 2013 #65
I don't understand why you are attacking this thread topic and the poster me b zola Nov 2013 #90
And it shouldn't have negative social consequences gollygee Nov 2013 #63
I think it is far more common for a woman to be raked over the coals for NOT choosing adoption, StevieM Nov 2013 #94
That's not what I've seen gollygee Nov 2013 #148
unbelievable newcriminal Nov 2013 #75
I am familiar with at least one agency that works with these mothers pnwmom Nov 2013 #127
Abortion has been found to not have a negative emotional sequelae REP Nov 2013 #140
True, in emotionally stable women, and with the exceptions noted. pnwmom Nov 2013 #141
There are over 4000 christian pregnancy crisis centers in the US. boston bean Nov 2013 #146
It all depends on whether the particular center is open about what it does. pnwmom Nov 2013 #152
None of those links work. ohheckyeah Nov 2013 #160
One option=no choice (eom) StevieM Nov 2013 #92
That is how it's coming across to me, too, and it's weird. pnwmom Nov 2013 #125
Don't listen to those who are trying to score nasty political points. Beausoir Nov 2013 #131
Wow - ohheckyeah Nov 2013 #159
Get the smelling salts.... Beausoir Nov 2013 #163
I am sure your adoptive parents are great, but you could also have had a good life with StevieM Nov 2013 #103
Adoption CAN harm women or can liberate women. It all depends on the situation and how uppityperson Nov 2013 #62
And the exact same thing can be said about abortion. B2G Nov 2013 #76
Indeed. Anyone who says "always" or "all" or somehow implies that each and every woman feels uppityperson Nov 2013 #77
No shit, Sherlock, it's not like giving a PUPPY away Warpy Nov 2013 #78
Antiabortion women. REP Nov 2013 #79
touche PeaceNikki Nov 2013 #81
Making adoption mandatory - as it essentially was at one time - sure as hell harms women. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #87
There are some on the right who think poor people don't deserve to keep their children REP Nov 2013 #88
So many terrible parents with plenty of money, so many great parents with little to none. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #91
I had a friend in college who got pregnant arely staircase Nov 2013 #107
Your studies are ancient, and mostly Australian. kwassa Nov 2013 #109
Levels of Openess REP Nov 2013 #112
It's like DU is stuck back in the 1980's. The inmates are in charge of the asylum. Beausoir Nov 2013 #130
Really? Even the women who were adopted out of starvation, abuse and cruelty? Beausoir Nov 2013 #118
There is higher incidents of some debilitating illnesses & cancers among 911 first responders... me b zola Nov 2013 #133
"you should update your facts so they are not 30 years old and from Australia" Kurska Nov 2013 #135
1999 and Arizona is the first one ... so, no. REP Nov 2013 #136
I'm really curious about something. Of all the things in the word to attack, adoption? Kurska Nov 2013 #138
I suspect it was a comeback to the 'abortion harms women' line... Violet_Crumble Nov 2013 #139
I was 19 and pregnant in 1966. Blue_In_AK Nov 2013 #124
I am glad that you are OK with everything. StevieM Nov 2013 #129
Keeping a baby at that point in my life Blue_In_AK Nov 2013 #132
I am glad that you were treated well. Many of those homes were quite different and the women StevieM Nov 2013 #137
No, I haven't. Blue_In_AK Nov 2013 #142
Welp, that settles it. Ban adoption. Kurska Nov 2013 #134
DU rec...nt SidDithers Nov 2013 #149
Adoption is a legitimate choice and it is really nobody's business whether a woman chooses it. Nye Bevan Nov 2013 #150
Yuck, I see this turd floated back up. Union Scribe Nov 2013 #161
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