Adoption harms women.

[gollygee]

56. The thing is

at least among women I've known . . .

They get pregnant and they decide they want an abortion, or that they don't want an abortion, but aren't 100% sure what they'll do. They do seem to be different choices. Like a woman will know adoption is a choice available if she doesn't want an abortion, but that is a separate decision.

People present it like it's an either/or choice and it's more complicated than that. And then people who think of it as a simple either/or choice don't understand all the difficulties of pregnancy and birth - and not just physical issues - and then the emotional issues associated with adoption.

Adoption is an available choice but those opposed to abortion present it as a simple alternative to abortion, and it really isn't. You have to first decide if you can keep your job if you are pregnant and have a ton of doctor appointments and potential morning sickeness and absences and then the birth and recovery and absences. You also have to figure out if the father will agree with adoption. And you have to take into account the dynamics of that relationship, and how that discussion will go. And if the relationship is a violent one, you have to consider what will happen if he refuses to relinquish the baby for adoption - will you be stuck in that relationship forever, or will you leave the baby with him for visitation even though he's violent? And if he finds out you're pregnant and says he won't relinquish the baby for adoption and then you have an aboriton, how will he respond? You have to consider the social consequences, because many of the churches that are opposed to abortion will also pretty much shun girls and women who place babies for adoption. (I've seen that happen.) Yes, anti-abortion women from anti-abortion churches have abortions because they know they'll lose their friends if their friends find out they're pregnant, and then beyond that there's an negative reaction to adoption. "How could you just give up your baby?"

And of course pregnancy and birth do not come without risk or physical difficulties. Especially for very young and very old mothers.

It is a choice but it isn't an alternative to pregnancy. It's an alternative after you've gone through the pregnancy and birth, which involve tons of consequences and things to consider.