"I Never Thought I'd Be Working In My 70s": Three Distressing Retirement Stories

[Alkene]

8. Quelle surprise.

I've never assumed otherwise for myself.

My assumption has long been that I'll work until I'm too sick to function, use up what little savings I've managed on a few weeks' groceries, languish in a cardboard box under the freeway until I die from exposure and malnutrition at which point I'll become fodder for the rats, crows and raccoons.

Not much of a retirement plan, but as a citizen of the greatest, most exceptional nation in the history of the world, it will have been an honor and a privilege to have worked all my life so my superiors could have nice lives with nice things in nice neighborhoods. Seriously. An honor.