http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2013/06/sexual_preference_is_wrong_say_sexual_orientation_instead.html
You may mean well, but it makes you sound ignorant.
This is more than a matter of pedantics, and it’s definitely not one of political correctness. You’re more than entitled to continue using “sexual preference” right alongside “the gay lifestyle” or “avowed homosexual” or whatever term you’d like to broadcast just how dense you really are. Just know that it’s simply flat-out incorrect to refer to a person’s sexual orientation as a “preference.” More than that, it’s dangerous.
Having said that, sexual preference is unlike other terms in this particular social arena in that most people use it without any bad intentions. Naiveté is their only offense, and that’s far easier to fix than willful ignorance. There’s a certain breeziness to sexual preference, and I have no doubt that’s precisely why it’s so often used: People think they won’t offend gays and lesbians because of the lightness of tone. “Well, another person’s sexual preference is none of my business,” we often hear good-hearted people say. “So long as nobody’s getting hurt, to each his own.”
Still, it’s a quietly toxic expression. That’s because the very construct of a preference, or the verb “to prefer,” implies that the individual has a choice, that there are options available and yet, all else being equal and as a matter of taste, really, the person would rather “this one” over “that one.” Think how bizarre it would sound if we were to apply the same language to any other unalterable biological trait. “Suit yourself, and to each his own,” we might reason, “but my preference is to have hands this size, not that size.” Or perhaps, “It’s perfectly fine to go with a darker birthmark on your leg, I just preferred to get mine on my arm, and in this lighter shade of brown, too.” In fact, while we’re on skin color, this flawed logic would, of course, also extend to a person’s opting to be black, white, Asian, or any other race or ethnicity as a preference.
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