Is it appropriate to make your grown children fend for themselves during the holidays?

[A Little Weird]

33. People are sometimes cluesless, but they can learn

I don't have kids but I must admit that I really took holiday meals for granted for a long time. I guess my mom and grandma made everything look so easy that I just assumed it was. They seemed to enjoy it. But by the time I got into my early 20s, I started to see the stress that I had just never noticed before. When I actually started cooking things more complicated than ramen noodles, it really became clear what a big undertaking it was.

So now my brother and I always try to help out in some way. By bringing side dishes or desserts or helping with the grocery shopping (a task my mom truly hates). And we do a lot of the clean up. This year my brother is hosting and mom is doing some side dishes and I'm doing dessert.

Since you've already made some plans, I would suggest doing something really simple for brunch, like deli sandwiches and chips. Just something basic so the family can be together and you don't have to go nuts with preparation. And I agree with other posters that you should just assign a dish (or dishes) to your kids for the Sunday dinner. There's not a thing wrong with that. If the teen can't cook, give him/her specific chores to do to help out.

I'm sorry you're stressed out and I hope things get better for you. But don't give up hope - thoughtless kids can learn empathy!

PS - I do love the idea of the sci-fi Thanksgiving! Sounds much less stressful.