Is it appropriate to make your grown children fend for themselves during the holidays?

[LWolf]

61. I live in a whole different world.

It might be because my kids grew up sharing household responsibilities; whatever they were old enough to take on. We started out cooking and cleaning together, and when they were old enough to be competent on their own, we all had assigned nights for food prep and clean-up. They took an equal share in all the household chores. That was just business as usual.

It might be because I had a little sign above the kitchen door: "There's two choices on the menu: 1. Take it 2. Leave it." Being picky was never a choice. As a single working mom, feeding everybody was a duty that I didn't always enjoy. It was about making sure there was food on the table, not about making sure everyone liked it. We did have special occasions where we put more effort into a more elaborate meal, but we did it together.

These days, my boys are grown. Both like to cook, and would prefer to cook themselves, rather than eat my utilitarian fare. My younger son does most of the holiday cooking, with his son. He calls everyone and assigns them something to bring, and he and my grandson take care of the rest. My assignment never changes: salad. He expects me to buy a pre-made salad that nobody really wants, but will eat a bit for appearance' sake before diving into the real goodies at a holiday meal. So I went to town today to pick up a salad. At some point, he'll have me make gravy. That's one thing I can do that he likes better than his own, lol.

Meanwhile, he called me earlier this week to quiz me on my doctor-imposed diet, because he's going to make sure that I'm not left out of the feeding frenzy. I told him not to worry, that I didn't need special dessert; I'd just skip it. He ignored me, and went away with a list of what's on my menu to play with. I have to admit, I'm curious.

We'll have a good day.