General Discussion

bettyellen

(47,209 posts)

91. I think it has to do with being empathetic and aware of others needs too.

Tue Dec 3, 2013, 03:11 AM

Dec 2013

And you seem to be, so you are not even aware that others just do this for their own ego or as a ploy. And get angry when it doesn't play out as expected.

If someone needs help - you offer before laying a hand near them, I bet. Some, jump in with the hands, and then expect gratitude. Ooops. Some people need their space! Some would say no thanks- and that should be okay.

If you see an attractive individual going about their business, do you pretend they need help and open the door with a flourish- and the intent to force a conversation on them? I doubt it, but it happens all the time. I think you begin as you intend to go, and that stuff can feel a bit manipulative. I have had total strangers follow me for blocks or do some out there things just to get attention- it can be very strange knowing they get so invested in someone they do not know at all based on looks. It is pretty immature, but also imposing and downright creepy, to be honest.

A smile and saying Hi is better. I don't know where people learn this behavior- stupid chick flicks? No idea.
Anyway, I think you're a swell Duer and wanted to explain why this sort of stuff can be unwelcome sometimes.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

368 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

over one third of men would never help a woman struggling with a baby buggy on stairs [View all] Liberal_in_LA Dec 2013 OP

Blame cries of "Benevolent Sexism". nt Bonobo Dec 2013 #1

bullshit. are men are so afraid to hear "no thanks" that it gives them an excuse to be petty jerks? bettyellen Dec 2013 #17

It's called approach anxiety. Guys get gun shy after being rejected by women over and over for just grahamhgreen Dec 2013 #109

what has that got to do with asking to help anyone ? i get guys asking all the time JI7 Dec 2013 #112

they are afraid their "grand gesture" is correctly seen as a pick up technique... and not bettyellen Dec 2013 #117

"Correctly" in your sentence was the mistake. Bonobo Dec 2013 #126

when you have two free hands and someone swoops in to "help" and then follow you to chat bettyellen Dec 2013 #191

If offers of help are generally pick up techniques, maybe one third aren't interested. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #225

not at all Jeff. I clearly said it's only annoying when it is obvious that help isn't needed. bettyellen Dec 2013 #229

You appear to want it both ways lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #235

never said A, only B. to differentiate the situations and motives. bettyellen Dec 2013 #238

If you ask, I'm happy to help. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #243

not a remarkable sense of self worth, as mine is not tied into my attractiveness. but WOW bettyellen Dec 2013 #248

I guess you'd be disappointed if I held the door for you.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #293

so- because I say I think it's creepy and manipulative, that means I secretly want the attention? bettyellen Dec 2013 #297

It's obvious you think every guy holding the door for you has some other motive ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #299

no, I clearly said it is obvious WHEN it is a ploy because they follow you and converse.... bettyellen Dec 2013 #303

Zzzzzz.....MRA ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #304

re read your patronizing crap to a woman who is not afraid to give you her POV.... bettyellen Dec 2013 #305

I mean.... woolldog Dec 2013 #316

the big deal is these outsized reactions- with men claiming trauma over getting a "No thanks" bettyellen Dec 2013 #331

Then perhaps it falls upon the person in need of assistance frustrated_lefty Dec 2013 #139

if you can't tell when people genuinely need help, maybe you need some yourself... bettyellen Dec 2013 #194

Not necessary. frustrated_lefty Dec 2013 #276

DAFT WENCH! Ahh, your true colors are showing now. Gaslighting and sexist BS in two words or less. bettyellen Dec 2013 #281

it's true . women have said no to me for all sorts of reasons so i dont care if another one says leftyohiolib Dec 2013 #158

smart thinking- you should actually respect others feeling about being hugged! bettyellen Dec 2013 #192

no one has "dinged" me for bless you but people here complain of having others saying bless u leftyohiolib Dec 2013 #258

you sound really put out by this revelation- that others' feelings should be respected? bettyellen Dec 2013 #280

You shoudn't let what you read here influence when it comes to what women want. A small group sabrina 1 Dec 2013 #332

the OP is about weak men with bruised egos- not weak women, LOL. bettyellen Dec 2013 #334

Most female DUers do not generally agree with them. kcr Dec 2013 #350

LOL, maybe the worst post this week! Congrats! WTF. Logical Dec 2013 #169

my old dad would have carried all of them on his little back. every man in my family was roguevalley Dec 2013 #314

LOL Cali_Democrat Dec 2013 #270

I smell bovine excrement MattBaggins Dec 2013 #2

Yup Boom Sound 416 Dec 2013 #4

Yep, and it's already starting to fly in this thread, too n/t kcr Dec 2013 #7

No kidding. K&R for your post. nt TBF Dec 2013 #163

those acts of courtesy Niceguy1 Dec 2013 #3

Bullshit n/t kcr Dec 2013 #5

search.. Niceguy1 Dec 2013 #6

I remember those threads. Full of bullshit then, too. n/t kcr Dec 2013 #8

it was no one here obsessed with doors but dudes looking for a reason to insult feminist for bettyellen Dec 2013 #13

They've been told that 100 times BainsBane Dec 2013 #66

real men help Niceguy1 Dec 2013 #76

people with manners help BainsBane Dec 2013 #77

Just because you dont like it AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #102

I open doors for prior, too and I'm a woman Iris Dec 2013 #125

Exactly! I find more women opening doors for men. See, I think it's rude to allow doors to shut in Liberal_Stalwart71 Dec 2013 #133

what about old men? treestar Dec 2013 #134

How does one accumulate 20k posts in two years? Soundman Dec 2013 #150

Really not too out of the ordinary boston bean Dec 2013 #152

This message was self-deleted by its author Soundman Dec 2013 #154

A snarky question gets a snarky reply BainsBane Dec 2013 #160

Or deflection, n/t. Soundman Dec 2013 #241

pardon me BainsBane Dec 2013 #271

Hey Soundman BlueToTheBone Dec 2013 #201

Thanks, Soundman Dec 2013 #237

Don't let BlueToTheBone Dec 2013 #254

Have fun with the snarky replies... NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #246

He doesn't ask the male poster because sexism Capt. Obvious Dec 2013 #162

It's even tougher when you have a sock. ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #290

Some people have alot to say. And alot of free time. CANDO Dec 2013 #341

Same here Cando. Soundman Dec 2013 #342

i hold doors open for anybody, it's simply courtesy. only got yelled at one time, by dionysus Dec 2013 #177

Exactly! rudolph the red Dec 2013 #211

and it didn't scar you for life, right? anyone getting so insulted it effects them- something else bettyellen Dec 2013 #213

this lady actually yelled at me, so i was mad for about 2 minutes :P no lasting damage. dionysus Dec 2013 #239

well, if you like a lot of human interaction- you will get an odd unpleasant one now and again bettyellen Dec 2013 #242

ctually, real people (rather than specifically males) help those in need (regardless of gender) LanternWaste Dec 2013 #253

BINGO!!! Liberal_Stalwart71 Dec 2013 #132

that's one perspective RainDog Dec 2013 #200

I have no idea what you're talking about. But it's sort of derailing the topic and broad brushing bettyellen Dec 2013 #207

LOL RainDog Dec 2013 #223

with total broad brushing bullshit, yep. bettyellen Dec 2013 #226

you, as you demonstrate, are part of the problem n/t RainDog Dec 2013 #228

Some women just don't like men, for whatever reason AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #272

Ha ha, is this performance art, or the 1950's? bettyellen Dec 2013 #283

It's the real world AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #325

and there are men who don't like women BainsBane Dec 2013 #284

they like them grateful and quiet, LOL. bettyellen Dec 2013 #287

Yeah, I have noticed that BainsBane Dec 2013 #288

Of course there are AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #326

Threads invented by anti-femiinists BainsBane Dec 2013 #64

Get the high boots out MattBaggins Dec 2013 #10

are men too stupid to ask first, if someone needs help? the article makes it appear so.... bettyellen Dec 2013 #9

No sorry we are not all jerks. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #14

She's talking about the article kcr Dec 2013 #16

tell that to someone who said that they are all jerks, LOL. bettyellen Dec 2013 #19

I am sorry then if I misinterpeted your response. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #20

no problem, I have seen men get angry over not getting a reaction of gratitude when you didn't bettyellen Dec 2013 #83

I guess I seem like a calm and non threatening person because I never get a nasty no thank you. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #84

I think it has to do with being empathetic and aware of others needs too. bettyellen Dec 2013 #91

Thanks bettyellen. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #95

not at all! I knew you'd listen instead of using my usage of "fuck" as an excuse to be a jerk. bettyellen Dec 2013 #97

Most women are once bitten, twice shy on this issue KitSileya Dec 2013 #128

I don't know how many times I have been viciously insulted or threatened for turning down a drink bettyellen Dec 2013 #198

"Grow the fuck up".. pipoman Dec 2013 #28

If someone - anyone- cannot take "No" as an answer without anger- they have big problems bettyellen Dec 2013 #49

With your attitude, I wouldn't help you. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #52

how would you know what my attitude is toward those who are embittered due to their sense of bettyellen Dec 2013 #61

Telling people to "grow the fuck up" = bad attitude. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #63

thinking you are entitled to other people's admiration or gratitude= totally pathetic bettyellen Dec 2013 #69

Ya got that, bettyellen? Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #122

Problem solved. I love how the people here defending this crap assume I wouldn't ask when needed bettyellen Dec 2013 #196

The horror BainsBane Dec 2013 #301

And people who can't respond to other people's pipoman Dec 2013 #74

I'm not angry at all, these "scared" men are fucking pitiful. and I have a filthy mouth. bettyellen Dec 2013 #78

Oh, it's perfectly clear pipoman Dec 2013 #80

if I was a man, I'd be angry that such stupid articles depicting men having cave men reactions bettyellen Dec 2013 #85

LOL..what a joke.. pipoman Dec 2013 #87

yup, it is clear. Scout Dec 2013 #180

And also perfectly clear who is disingenuous and petulant. LanternWaste Dec 2013 #257

How much effort do you expect men to expend looking for gray area between "petty jerk" and "creepy"? lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #249

likely they are petty jerks BECAUSE they are afraid to be called out as creepy bettyellen Dec 2013 #250

That accurately describes my attitude about the topic. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #261

you made yourself feel bad, by imagining it was about social fitness and not the other person's bettyellen Dec 2013 #292

Thank you ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #307

I know right? wickerwoman Dec 2013 #21

That's exactly what they're doing kcr Dec 2013 #23

+1000 crazylikafox Dec 2013 #176

There is an entire subset of men MattBaggins Dec 2013 #22

Shaming never works Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #36

Your stock Libertarian cut and paste was pointless. MattBaggins Dec 2013 #46

He (or she) has a valid point AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #104

what the fuck ? JI7 Dec 2013 #113

H.O.R.M.O.N.E.S AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #118

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA bettyellen Dec 2013 #116

Holy crap, I nearly spit out my coffee!! Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #123

Indeed AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #263

I used to pretend the same, too. LanternWaste Dec 2013 #259

So women don't enjoy attention from men? AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #264

Sometimes they do gollygee Dec 2013 #266

yep, it is a subset that is very whiney and vocal on the net, just like RWers.... something about bettyellen Dec 2013 #47

Wow. Marr Dec 2013 #89

it's directed at the men who are "too scared to hear 'No'". THEY are agressive and rude for not bettyellen Dec 2013 #96

You didn't say "some men", so the remark seemed directed toward men in general. Marr Dec 2013 #175

nope, I clearly said it was how the article portrayed these bitter dudes. I am surprised more men bettyellen Dec 2013 #252

You know what was WOW! boston bean Dec 2013 #148

Hey, how bout asking for help? Why do you find that scary? grahamhgreen Dec 2013 #110

who said I was scared? this article is about men who supposedly cower in fear of rejection.... bettyellen Dec 2013 #115

Well then, perhaps the onus of the article should be put on the idea that grahamhgreen Dec 2013 #197

interesting, I didn't read it as them "being cads" i read it as them being so needy for ego stroking bettyellen Dec 2013 #203

Well, it's not that they're all needy for ego stroking, many men have so been hurt or abused grahamhgreen Dec 2013 #214

I don't think it's a case of men being over feminized, I think the ones who do get angry bettyellen Dec 2013 #220

I'll hold a door for either gender as a courtesy, and would help anyone struggling with a heavy item Xithras Dec 2013 #11

Or clearly pregnant, in pain or disabled. MattBaggins Dec 2013 #26

Of course. If there's a visible physical malady, it's the courteous thing to do. Xithras Dec 2013 #31

exactly right. BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #82

I work in a busy office building Demobrat Dec 2013 #50

the only time it seems unwelcome is when you have your hands totally free and someone gets the bettyellen Dec 2013 #68

I've had that happen Demobrat Dec 2013 #212

Because following people and joking about stalking them is so thoughtful! LOL. bettyellen Dec 2013 #215

Yes it does Demobrat Dec 2013 #216

Me too. I am sure there are exceptions, but I don't see women using this as a ploy bettyellen Dec 2013 #221

I've had them follow me down the street screaming Demobrat Dec 2013 #227

I have been called every name in the book for refusing to drink or chat with strangers.... bettyellen Dec 2013 #232

Sometimes its worse to be polite. Demobrat Dec 2013 #240

Yep. And guys here should be angry at those dudes for screwing it up for them. bettyellen Dec 2013 #244

Googled it. Demobrat Dec 2013 #312

you are totally welcome. bettyellen Dec 2013 #329

Same here. nt City Lights Dec 2013 #189

I always ask women on the train or in my building if they would like help and they all appreciate hrmjustin Dec 2013 #12

Do you ask men if they need help or just women MattBaggins Dec 2013 #27

I ask both. There is a myth that NYers are not polite or helpful but it is false. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #29

I am a New Yorker as well but I might fit the impolite stereotype at times. MattBaggins Dec 2013 #33

We all have our moments. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #35

Matt, in other places they are fake nicer than we are, and have more time for stupid shit. bettyellen Dec 2013 #98

That one surprised me when I first went to NY - I knew the myth, but I've actually petronius Dec 2013 #99

I definately agree it is an unfair reputation NYC has. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #101

I ask women more than men AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #105

Oh Jesus, not this shit again. geek tragedy Dec 2013 #15

I don't offer my seat to women and I have no problem with that MattBaggins Dec 2013 #30

Exactly. Young women with healthy knees can stand just as much as a man their age. nt geek tragedy Dec 2013 #155

Exactly - TBF Dec 2013 #164

Courtesy is not chivalry nt geek tragedy Dec 2013 #174

Chivalry is.... Scout Dec 2013 #209

No kidding. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #54

Chivalry has been dead for quite some time Fumesucker Dec 2013 #18

That's really too bad:( polly7 Dec 2013 #24

Men may be afraid of being profiled as a "sexual suspect" marshall Dec 2013 #318

No, they just don't care! All you have to do is walk in an urban flamingdem Dec 2013 #25

Yep, wickerwoman Dec 2013 #37

I'm so glad chivalry is dead MattBaggins Dec 2013 #43

chivalry was killed with accusations of benevolent sexism leftyohiolib Dec 2013 #170

Last time I tried to help a woman with a baby bugy on stairs it didn't turn out too good. Hassin Bin Sober Dec 2013 #32

It's been awhile though, hasn't it? Maybe try again. Comrade Grumpy Dec 2013 #38

Of course you would say that ,,,,, Comrade! Hassin Bin Sober Dec 2013 #256

I fared little better.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #294

LOL. It appears they were paying homage to ..... me! Hassin Bin Sober Dec 2013 #308

...of the 5,000 men surveyed. flvegan Dec 2013 #34

With the right methodology, 5000 is a damn good sample. Silent3 Dec 2013 #42

5,000 is a huge sample size Jimbo S Dec 2013 #217

You can be accused of sexual harrasment Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #39

Oh baloney MattBaggins Dec 2013 #56

Right. Point to someone who was successfully accused of sexual harassment kcr Dec 2013 #71

young men(and women) offer to help me all the time JI7 Dec 2013 #81

Bullshit gollygee Dec 2013 #157

Oh, yes, the "daily mail" Warren DeMontague Dec 2013 #40

Not true at all Politicalboi Dec 2013 #41

The Battleship Potemkin Warren DeMontague Dec 2013 #45

I have noticed this too quinnox Dec 2013 #44

she didn't speak english ? JI7 Dec 2013 #60

No, you misunderstand. She was American quinnox Dec 2013 #62

i don't understand why you didn't just open the door JI7 Dec 2013 #67

I was not close to the door quinnox Dec 2013 #72

The only thing sexist is assuming men but not women should help BainsBane Dec 2013 #48

True that AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #106

I always help out when I sense that someone is having a harder time than I am. smirkymonkey Dec 2013 #364

When I worked with men doing heavy work, letting them do anything was frowned upon. So I didn't. freshwest Dec 2013 #51

Wow! This got some people pissed... TreasonousBastard Dec 2013 #53

Welcome to DU... Fumesucker Dec 2013 #88

Oh, have I noticed, but... TreasonousBastard Dec 2013 #90

You can get shot like that. lpbk2713 Dec 2013 #55

That's my favorite scene in the movie. I was waiting for someone to post it here. Liberal_Stalwart71 Dec 2013 #136

I was going to mention I would except in the case of TlalocW Dec 2013 #186

Ouch I can't believe that. RandySF Dec 2013 #57

I don't get the giving up seats to women on the train or bus argument. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #58

I give up seats to women AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #107

Weird. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #108

Yes, only weird men are attracted to women AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #119

only weird men think women should be grateful for things they don't need or want- bettyellen Dec 2013 #222

Women don't want attention from men? AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #265

some will sadly, settle for any attention they can get. many will notice that gratitude is expected bettyellen Dec 2013 #278

If a woman enjoys the attention of certain members of the opposite sex... AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #328

I should enjoy every stranger who throws themselves at me? LOL, there aint enough hours in the day. bettyellen Dec 2013 #333

I guess we can't all have normal hormone levels AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #335

are you a parody? because otherwise, it would appear you stepped out of a time capsule bettyellen Dec 2013 #346

Yes, that must explain it! AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #348

It's weird that you'd give up your seat to attractive women. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #247

I said, "I give up my seat to women" AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #267

testosterone and estrogen don't do what you think they do. MattBaggins Dec 2013 #315

It is responsible for much of the interactions between males and females AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #324

no MattBaggins Dec 2013 #330

Apparently nobody ever explained the birds and bees to you AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #336

Here, this should help you understand AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #338

Testosterone and estrogen are responsible for sexual attraction AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #340

No, that isn't how hormones work. Tien1985 Dec 2013 #343

lol AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #349

Your interpretation of this conversation is.... AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #351

You get your science facts Tien1985 Dec 2013 #354

Please post your source AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #365

So you are saying Tien1985 Dec 2013 #366

No AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #367

You have no idea what your talking about MattBaggins Dec 2013 #360

Of course I dont AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #368

hahaha d_b Dec 2013 #352

And how many women offer to help? marshall Dec 2013 #59

I'm amazed they let you on a plane with 2 suitcases and a backpack muriel_volestrangler Dec 2013 #138

That was in 2008, 2009 and 2010 marshall Dec 2013 #141

Still, 2 suitcases and a backpack is 3 items, not 2 muriel_volestrangler Dec 2013 #143

Each person is allowed one carry on and one "personal item" marshall Dec 2013 #149

five bags and a kid? no wonder people ignored you. you took twice the luggage room and slowed down bettyellen Dec 2013 #224

Actually with two seats assigned to me I took up LESS room than other passengers marshall Dec 2013 #268

but walking through the whatever you call it, and onto the plane you appeared to be one guy bettyellen Dec 2013 #286

True, people don't expect to see a man alone with a baby marshall Dec 2013 #311

and also they are hard to see when they are strapped to the chest, especially if you are walking bettyellen Dec 2013 #347

I am an equal offender Go Vols Dec 2013 #65

If true, that's pretty pathetic sakabatou Dec 2013 #70

No one remembers the scene from Naked Gun 3? davidn3600 Dec 2013 #73

I remember that scene sakabatou Dec 2013 #75

Hilarious! quinnox Dec 2013 #92

Perfect! TreasonousBastard Dec 2013 #93

I don't offer help to anyone The2ndWheel Dec 2013 #79

For every ten people who thank you Kurska Dec 2013 #86

nothing can undo the goodwill. it is it's own reward when you feel that is how you think bettyellen Dec 2013 #100

Let's be clear about one thing. Chivalry is not about being nice to women. Deep13 Dec 2013 #94

Or, as I read in a tumblr quote the other day, KitSileya Dec 2013 #130

No, it really is about the best way to kill other guys. Deep13 Dec 2013 #327

My daughter had a good traveling experience today, flying with pnwmom Dec 2013 #103

But I bet they would if they were asked to help:) grahamhgreen Dec 2013 #111

I admit that sometimes I hesitate before I ask if people need help. Lobo27 Dec 2013 #114

I will offer assistance to anyone, regardless of gender, if I think they need it. nt MADem Dec 2013 #120

I think it depends on the area, rural vs urban newfie11 Dec 2013 #121

so what? Iris Dec 2013 #124

Can't we all agree in 2013 Shankapotomus Dec 2013 #127

I believe that is true of most people Tien1985 Dec 2013 #344

I've heard men use the lame excuse that it is because of "feminists" and the Equal Rights Movement.. Liberal_Stalwart71 Dec 2013 #129

Have to? The2ndWheel Dec 2013 #140

No, men don't "have to" do anything they don't want to do. Liberal_Stalwart71 Dec 2013 #178

Really? I recall quite distinctly being told that feminists don't care about equal rights BainsBane Dec 2013 #205

Have to? mythology Dec 2013 #145

See my response #178. I specifically stated that men who blame feminists for these things Liberal_Stalwart71 Dec 2013 #179

good of them; it should be sex blind treestar Dec 2013 #131

Sitting in my car at the grocery store the other day, I saw B Calm Dec 2013 #135

In the grocery parking lot where I shop, gathering the carts back is someone's job. Bluenorthwest Dec 2013 #151

Ever had a grocery cart roll into your vehicle? Or had a grocery cart blocking B Calm Dec 2013 #153

You're destroying jobs!! Capt. Obvious Dec 2013 #168

and lazy ass people are destroying valuable vehicles! B Calm Dec 2013 #182

I'd rather have your vehicle get dinged than some poor soul lose his job Capt. Obvious Dec 2013 #184

Stop acting ..........! B Calm Dec 2013 #187

"you have to pay a quarter to get a cart and you get the quarter back when you return the cart" dionysus Dec 2013 #185

Aldis is doing it right! B Calm Dec 2013 #188

yeah but the first time i went there i was like "WTF, why are the carts chained together? WTF?" dionysus Dec 2013 #190

I was the same way. My wife had to show me B Calm Dec 2013 #193

that was actually the second time i went there. the first time, a guy was returning a cart and i dionysus Dec 2013 #195

Now you have me laughing. . B Calm Dec 2013 #202

i didnt realize you had to bring your own bags, either. i had 60 bucks worth of groceries loose in dionysus Dec 2013 #206

You can buy bags at the checkout. Most people pick up B Calm Dec 2013 #262

lol. Liberal_in_LA Dec 2013 #358

Yeah, but it's helpful to pile them into the corrals in the lot ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #300

You can tell how nice a store is by how many carts are randomly strewn about the lot tammywammy Dec 2013 #199

Chivalry may be dead, and politeness is collateral damage. AngryOldDem Dec 2013 #137

FWIW, here's the original AXA press release muriel_volestrangler Dec 2013 #142

This again... Tien1985 Dec 2013 #144

^^^^ Iggo Dec 2013 #166

Agree deutsey Dec 2013 #172

Totally agree. AngryOldDem Dec 2013 #313

So, I was walking by this feminist protest against door-opening the other day... enki23 Dec 2013 #146

I love this. Thank you. bettyellen Dec 2013 #234

Finniest post in the thread MattBaggins Dec 2013 #362

I'm glad "chivalry" is dead and buried. alarimer Dec 2013 #147

Wow, hard to believe. JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #156

I experience / see stuff like that and I live in a metroplex Skittles Dec 2013 #339

I don't think any such thing. JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #345

I've lived city / suburban / rural Skittles Dec 2013 #359

The issue is that people with a free hand should be helping people struggling gollygee Dec 2013 #159

Doing anything with someone else's kid opens you to legal liability if anything goes wrong. FarCenter Dec 2013 #161

Aw, poor babies. Iggo Dec 2013 #165

Chivalry should be dead Capt. Obvious Dec 2013 #167

And you can be sure that those attractive women know exactly what he's doing. Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #171

what's wrong with just looking at it as being polite? Scout Dec 2013 #173

why mercuryblues Dec 2013 #181

The title is a falsehood. "volunteering to help" is not the same as "help" Pitagoras Dec 2013 #183

I'd call social services!!! Taking a baby buggy on steps is very dangerous. JoePhilly Dec 2013 #204

I know many NyC stations without escalators or elevators Pitagoras Dec 2013 #210

St. Louis Metrolink stations also lack elevators. randome Dec 2013 #279

Why should I give up a seat on a bus just because she's a woman? Proles Dec 2013 #208

I've given up seat for men gollygee Dec 2013 #218

I won't give up my seat to a woman Feral Child Dec 2013 #219

Why would we assume she wants help? cbdo2007 Dec 2013 #230

Don't confuse chivalry with manners. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #231

FFS ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #233

Or a woman struggling with putting a wheel chair in the trunk of a car. I know. appleannie1 Dec 2013 #236

that's a shame. Any able bodied person, male or female, should be willing to help the disabled. Liberal_in_LA Dec 2013 #275

Is this sort of like the "opening doors" thing? NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #245

If Chivalry is dead, it isn't shown in this survey. Left2Tackle Dec 2013 #251

Why can't we all just get along? nolabear Dec 2013 #255

If one third says that they won't HappyMe Dec 2013 #260

Chilvary should be dead. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #269

And two-thirds would help. MineralMan Dec 2013 #273

yes, it does. Liberal_in_LA Dec 2013 #274

Exactly! Lex Dec 2013 #282

A verbal survey is useless. randome Dec 2013 #277

i am always helping women with baby strollers up subway stairs, while people twice my size La Lioness Priyanka Dec 2013 #285

Did anything about helping others make you question your social fitness, bruise your ego or bettyellen Dec 2013 #306

because they are lying. that's why. nt La Lioness Priyanka Dec 2013 #321

I WOULD ASSIST A MAN TRYING TO CARRY A PRAM UP A Ilsa Dec 2013 #289

agreed and i have La Lioness Priyanka Dec 2013 #322

I needed help one Day dem in texas Dec 2013 #291

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #295

Does that happen often at the library? Agschmid Dec 2013 #298

Only on DU would someone take a minority Sissyk Dec 2013 #296

I would help ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #302

If I see anyone struggling CFLDem Dec 2013 #309

Would all women struggling with buggies treat all men trying to help Glassunion Dec 2013 #310

The original article on the AXA website is notably different in key ways marshall Dec 2013 #317

What does a persons' sex have to do with one's compassion for other human beings? n/t oxymoron Dec 2013 #319

none n/t Liberal_in_LA Dec 2013 #357

And now my usual question... where the hell do you people live where this is an issue? Sen. Walter Sobchak Dec 2013 #320

Gee, I know where this discussion is going... hughee99 Dec 2013 #323

Yup Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #356

Is it death of chivalry or fear of litigation? Recursion Dec 2013 #337

It is about litigation Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #355

When men help with Baby Carriages bad things happen like this: Katashi_itto Dec 2013 #353

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #361

Chivalry is dead DragonBorn Dec 2013 #363