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In reply to the discussion: over one third of men would never help a woman struggling with a baby buggy on stairs [View all]treestar
(82,383 posts)131. good of them; it should be sex blind
a young mother knows how to deal with her baby apparatus.
Both sexes when young should help old people.
Chivalry can die for all I care. When I was young and strong there were always men trying to "help" now that I'm middle aged, not so much. Hmmmm. Maybe it wasn't about "help."
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over one third of men would never help a woman struggling with a baby buggy on stairs [View all]
Liberal_in_LA
Dec 2013
OP
bullshit. are men are so afraid to hear "no thanks" that it gives them an excuse to be petty jerks?
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#17
It's called approach anxiety. Guys get gun shy after being rejected by women over and over for just
grahamhgreen
Dec 2013
#109
what has that got to do with asking to help anyone ? i get guys asking all the time
JI7
Dec 2013
#112
they are afraid their "grand gesture" is correctly seen as a pick up technique... and not
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#117
when you have two free hands and someone swoops in to "help" and then follow you to chat
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#191
If offers of help are generally pick up techniques, maybe one third aren't interested.
lumberjack_jeff
Dec 2013
#225
not at all Jeff. I clearly said it's only annoying when it is obvious that help isn't needed.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#229
not a remarkable sense of self worth, as mine is not tied into my attractiveness. but WOW
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#248
so- because I say I think it's creepy and manipulative, that means I secretly want the attention?
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#297
It's obvious you think every guy holding the door for you has some other motive
ProudToBeBlueInRhody
Dec 2013
#299
no, I clearly said it is obvious WHEN it is a ploy because they follow you and converse....
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#303
re read your patronizing crap to a woman who is not afraid to give you her POV....
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#305
the big deal is these outsized reactions- with men claiming trauma over getting a "No thanks"
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#331
if you can't tell when people genuinely need help, maybe you need some yourself...
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#194
DAFT WENCH! Ahh, your true colors are showing now. Gaslighting and sexist BS in two words or less.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#281
it's true . women have said no to me for all sorts of reasons so i dont care if another one says
leftyohiolib
Dec 2013
#158
smart thinking- you should actually respect others feeling about being hugged!
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#192
no one has "dinged" me for bless you but people here complain of having others saying bless u
leftyohiolib
Dec 2013
#258
you sound really put out by this revelation- that others' feelings should be respected?
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#280
You shoudn't let what you read here influence when it comes to what women want. A small group
sabrina 1
Dec 2013
#332
my old dad would have carried all of them on his little back. every man in my family was
roguevalley
Dec 2013
#314
it was no one here obsessed with doors but dudes looking for a reason to insult feminist for
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#13
Exactly! I find more women opening doors for men. See, I think it's rude to allow doors to shut in
Liberal_Stalwart71
Dec 2013
#133
i hold doors open for anybody, it's simply courtesy. only got yelled at one time, by
dionysus
Dec 2013
#177
and it didn't scar you for life, right? anyone getting so insulted it effects them- something else
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#213
this lady actually yelled at me, so i was mad for about 2 minutes :P no lasting damage.
dionysus
Dec 2013
#239
well, if you like a lot of human interaction- you will get an odd unpleasant one now and again
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#242
ctually, real people (rather than specifically males) help those in need (regardless of gender)
LanternWaste
Dec 2013
#253
I have no idea what you're talking about. But it's sort of derailing the topic and broad brushing
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#207
are men too stupid to ask first, if someone needs help? the article makes it appear so....
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#9
no problem, I have seen men get angry over not getting a reaction of gratitude when you didn't
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#83
I guess I seem like a calm and non threatening person because I never get a nasty no thank you.
hrmjustin
Dec 2013
#84
not at all! I knew you'd listen instead of using my usage of "fuck" as an excuse to be a jerk.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#97
I don't know how many times I have been viciously insulted or threatened for turning down a drink
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#198
If someone - anyone- cannot take "No" as an answer without anger- they have big problems
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#49
how would you know what my attitude is toward those who are embittered due to their sense of
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#61
thinking you are entitled to other people's admiration or gratitude= totally pathetic
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#69
Problem solved. I love how the people here defending this crap assume I wouldn't ask when needed
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#196
I'm not angry at all, these "scared" men are fucking pitiful. and I have a filthy mouth.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#78
if I was a man, I'd be angry that such stupid articles depicting men having cave men reactions
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#85
How much effort do you expect men to expend looking for gray area between "petty jerk" and "creepy"?
lumberjack_jeff
Dec 2013
#249
likely they are petty jerks BECAUSE they are afraid to be called out as creepy
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#250
you made yourself feel bad, by imagining it was about social fitness and not the other person's
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#292
yep, it is a subset that is very whiney and vocal on the net, just like RWers.... something about
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#47
it's directed at the men who are "too scared to hear 'No'". THEY are agressive and rude for not
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#96
nope, I clearly said it was how the article portrayed these bitter dudes. I am surprised more men
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#252
who said I was scared? this article is about men who supposedly cower in fear of rejection....
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#115
Well then, perhaps the onus of the article should be put on the idea that
grahamhgreen
Dec 2013
#197
interesting, I didn't read it as them "being cads" i read it as them being so needy for ego stroking
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#203
Well, it's not that they're all needy for ego stroking, many men have so been hurt or abused
grahamhgreen
Dec 2013
#214
I don't think it's a case of men being over feminized, I think the ones who do get angry
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#220
I'll hold a door for either gender as a courtesy, and would help anyone struggling with a heavy item
Xithras
Dec 2013
#11
Of course. If there's a visible physical malady, it's the courteous thing to do.
Xithras
Dec 2013
#31
the only time it seems unwelcome is when you have your hands totally free and someone gets the
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#68
Because following people and joking about stalking them is so thoughtful! LOL.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#215
Me too. I am sure there are exceptions, but I don't see women using this as a ploy
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#221
I have been called every name in the book for refusing to drink or chat with strangers....
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#232
Yep. And guys here should be angry at those dudes for screwing it up for them.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#244
I always ask women on the train or in my building if they would like help and they all appreciate
hrmjustin
Dec 2013
#12
I ask both. There is a myth that NYers are not polite or helpful but it is false.
hrmjustin
Dec 2013
#29
I am a New Yorker as well but I might fit the impolite stereotype at times.
MattBaggins
Dec 2013
#33
Matt, in other places they are fake nicer than we are, and have more time for stupid shit.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#98
That one surprised me when I first went to NY - I knew the myth, but I've actually
petronius
Dec 2013
#99
Exactly. Young women with healthy knees can stand just as much as a man their age. nt
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#155
Last time I tried to help a woman with a baby bugy on stairs it didn't turn out too good.
Hassin Bin Sober
Dec 2013
#32
I always help out when I sense that someone is having a harder time than I am.
smirkymonkey
Dec 2013
#364
When I worked with men doing heavy work, letting them do anything was frowned upon. So I didn't.
freshwest
Dec 2013
#51
That's my favorite scene in the movie. I was waiting for someone to post it here.
Liberal_Stalwart71
Dec 2013
#136
only weird men think women should be grateful for things they don't need or want-
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#222
some will sadly, settle for any attention they can get. many will notice that gratitude is expected
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#278
If a woman enjoys the attention of certain members of the opposite sex...
AgingAmerican
Dec 2013
#328
I should enjoy every stranger who throws themselves at me? LOL, there aint enough hours in the day.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#333
are you a parody? because otherwise, it would appear you stepped out of a time capsule
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#346
It is responsible for much of the interactions between males and females
AgingAmerican
Dec 2013
#324
I'm amazed they let you on a plane with 2 suitcases and a backpack
muriel_volestrangler
Dec 2013
#138
five bags and a kid? no wonder people ignored you. you took twice the luggage room and slowed down
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#224
Actually with two seats assigned to me I took up LESS room than other passengers
marshall
Dec 2013
#268
but walking through the whatever you call it, and onto the plane you appeared to be one guy
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#286
and also they are hard to see when they are strapped to the chest, especially if you are walking
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#347
nothing can undo the goodwill. it is it's own reward when you feel that is how you think
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#100
I will offer assistance to anyone, regardless of gender, if I think they need it. nt
MADem
Dec 2013
#120
I've heard men use the lame excuse that it is because of "feminists" and the Equal Rights Movement..
Liberal_Stalwart71
Dec 2013
#129
Really? I recall quite distinctly being told that feminists don't care about equal rights
BainsBane
Dec 2013
#205
See my response #178. I specifically stated that men who blame feminists for these things
Liberal_Stalwart71
Dec 2013
#179
In the grocery parking lot where I shop, gathering the carts back is someone's job.
Bluenorthwest
Dec 2013
#151
I'd rather have your vehicle get dinged than some poor soul lose his job
Capt. Obvious
Dec 2013
#184
"you have to pay a quarter to get a cart and you get the quarter back when you return the cart"
dionysus
Dec 2013
#185
yeah but the first time i went there i was like "WTF, why are the carts chained together? WTF?"
dionysus
Dec 2013
#190
that was actually the second time i went there. the first time, a guy was returning a cart and i
dionysus
Dec 2013
#195
i didnt realize you had to bring your own bags, either. i had 60 bucks worth of groceries loose in
dionysus
Dec 2013
#206
You can tell how nice a store is by how many carts are randomly strewn about the lot
tammywammy
Dec 2013
#199
So, I was walking by this feminist protest against door-opening the other day...
enki23
Dec 2013
#146
The issue is that people with a free hand should be helping people struggling
gollygee
Dec 2013
#159
Doing anything with someone else's kid opens you to legal liability if anything goes wrong.
FarCenter
Dec 2013
#161
And you can be sure that those attractive women know exactly what he's doing.
Sheldon Cooper
Dec 2013
#171
Or a woman struggling with putting a wheel chair in the trunk of a car. I know.
appleannie1
Dec 2013
#236
that's a shame. Any able bodied person, male or female, should be willing to help the disabled.
Liberal_in_LA
Dec 2013
#275
i am always helping women with baby strollers up subway stairs, while people twice my size
La Lioness Priyanka
Dec 2013
#285
Did anything about helping others make you question your social fitness, bruise your ego or
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#306
What does a persons' sex have to do with one's compassion for other human beings? n/t
oxymoron
Dec 2013
#319
And now my usual question... where the hell do you people live where this is an issue?
Sen. Walter Sobchak
Dec 2013
#320