over one third of men would never help a woman struggling with a baby buggy on stairs

[Glassunion]

310. Would all women struggling with buggies treat all men trying to help

in the same fashion?

Would they all welcome the help or would they react is some other way?

Is chivalry dead because it's been stomped to death?

I like to think that I have southern manners. I was raised in the south. Everyone is Sir or Mam, I don't care if you 3 years old or 90. I feel that being honest, loyal, and courteous to everyone is the right thing to do. I no longer live in the south, and feel that my view of how I should treat my fellow humans is being stomped to death.

When I stand up from a table when someone joins, I'm looked at like my head is on fire. In fact been made fun of, like I was some backward hick. I cannot tell you the number of times I've simply tried to help someone with their coat, and there I was holding their coat out, and they had some strange look like I was expecting them to charge through it like a bull. I've been admonished for holding a door on several occasions. Yes Mam, I am fully aware that you are totally capable of getting the door yourself, that was not my point. I was just trying to be nice. I figured it would be rude to let the door slam in your face.

I think that it's because ill manners have become the norm, and that an actual act of politeness is being misread by the recipient. I will say from what I see is that it is regional. Smiling and saying "hello" in Philly is met quite differently than in Gatlinburg. In Tennessee I'm being polite. In Pennsylvania I'm being a creep.

So what happens, is to avoid being the creep, I avoid eye contact, I don't say "hello", and I'm quite conscious that if I do offer to help I may be informed where to go and how to get there.

Being a gentleman I feel is something that is misunderstood. Some argue that it is archaic, or on the other hand some think of it as a set of "rules" to follow. I don't feel that it is either. To me, to say one is a gentleman is basically you are giving a positive review of their character. You are saying that man and who he is, is a good man. I feel that a good gentleman should stand out, that they should be a role model for other men. Holding open a door, or standing when a new guest arrives at a table or party does not a gentleman make.

I feel that a gentleman is the part, not one who acts it. A good gentleman adapts to each situation because they want to, not because they have to. A man who does not have respect for his fellow humans, who somehow see himself above others, in any way can never be a gentleman.