General Discussion

okaawhatever

(9,563 posts)

71. I think it's difficult to quantify or qualify the impact of an expression when the person using it

Wed Dec 18, 2013, 02:55 AM

Dec 2013

is trying to defend the indefensible. In your case your parents were trying to create a false reality and make you feel guilty for their actions. If your parents had actually spoiled you rotten would it have had the same effect? I know a lot of abusive parents or spouses use the line "you're just too sensitive" in an attempt to put the blame on the victim.
I'm sorry your parents and ex-husband treated you that way. I'm glad you're getting help now and can see their behavior for what it is. No child should go through that.
Expressions do carry different meanings in different areas. In our family you didn't tell someone to shut up. Ever. It was hush or be quiet. I don't even know why it was so bad. Telling someone to f off was probably better. That's a southern thing. Up north it isn't that big of a deal. When kids started saying "shut UP" as an exclamation as in "No Way" or "you're kidding" I had a hard time with it. Now i'm used to hearing it and shut up has a different effect on me.
I was born in the south but my dad was Air Force so I lived all over the country. When I was in grade school in southern California I was snatched out of my chair and sent to the principals office for saying "what in the Sam Hill?". The phrase doesn't have a negative connotation in the south, but the Principal and that teacher somehow thought I was saying something bad. I've faced that in every part of the country with local colloquialisms and mores. I'll be more cognizant of the term and it's use in the future.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

91 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

I've got a real problem with children being described as "spoiled rotten" [View all] tina tron Dec 2013 OP

You obviously have not met some of the children I have. OffWithTheirHeads Dec 2013 #1

I suppose "entitled, narcissistic and overindulged" might be better. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #2

overindulged maybe laundry_queen Dec 2013 #52

Lighten Up. n-t Logical Dec 2013 #3

Really? Would "overindulged precious snowflake" work? Liberal Veteran Dec 2013 #4

It's a demeaning put down tina tron Dec 2013 #12

'Scar them for life'? Talk about hyperbole... idwiyo Dec 2013 #19

+1! -nt CrispyQ Dec 2013 #48

Most of the time, parents are to blame, no argument there. Liberal Veteran Dec 2013 #26

Saying a child is spoiled rotten is an insult to the parents. I don't think for a second they're okaawhatever Dec 2013 #40

I think it can cause harm when used often and with contempt laundry_queen Dec 2013 #56

I think it's difficult to quantify or qualify the impact of an expression when the person using it okaawhatever Dec 2013 #71

No, it's not a demeaning put down. It's a description Tansy_Gold Dec 2013 #42

The expression is a criticism of the parents Yo_Mama Dec 2013 #44

And what would you call adults who exhibit similar behaviors? TBF Dec 2013 #74

Freepers and Teabaggers!! madinmaryland Dec 2013 #89

Good response! nt TBF Dec 2013 #90

OR, you've seen children whose horrible behavior has been enabled by bad parents rustydog Dec 2013 #5

That is normal behavior for very young kids -- ages 2 to 5 or so. Arugula Latte Dec 2013 #6

This and sometimes a little one just becomes tired and overwhelmed Skidmore Dec 2013 #11

Sorry, it isn't. Maybe it's normal where you live but it's sure as hell isn't here. idwiyo Dec 2013 #21

Lol if you really think tantrums are unusual for toddler/preschoolers. Arugula Latte Dec 2013 #27

LOL no kidding. laundry_queen Dec 2013 #59

Yes, it's a normal part of early childhood development. Arugula Latte Dec 2013 #66

i'm not a parent... keroro gunsou Dec 2013 #46

Change 5 to 3 and I agree with you. (nt) TacoD Dec 2013 #83

A qualifier, a 2-3 year old throwing a tantrum nadinbrzezinski Dec 2013 #8

Toddlers have tantrums because they're toddlers gollygee Dec 2013 #16

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #77

Another point on this: Arugula Latte Dec 2013 #88

People said my oldest son was spoiled RainDog Dec 2013 #7

I agree with small children. It's best to look for a reason for the behavior Cleita Dec 2013 #15

+1000 lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #70

Yeah. First kids get a lot more "attention" RainDog Dec 2013 #91

I would suggest ..... oldhippie Dec 2013 #9

It's not hyperbole tina tron Dec 2013 #14

WW aikoaiko Dec 2013 #10

I never considered any child under four as responsible no Cleita Dec 2013 #13

oy tjwash Dec 2013 #17

I envy you Skittles Dec 2013 #18

Yes thank you, it is. tina tron Dec 2013 #22

then you should be angry at your parents, not anyone here. Sorry that happened to you bettyellen Dec 2013 #30

I am sorry you were abused as a child nadinbrzezinski Dec 2013 #31

aah so now we have the real issue Skittles Dec 2013 #35

skittles tina tron Dec 2013 #36

wooooooooooooosh Skittles Dec 2013 #54

I have PTSD from that same exact thing Phlem Dec 2013 #37

Wait? Saying spoiled rotten is bad, but physical abuse is good? n/t Taitertots Dec 2013 #45

I know. Phlem Dec 2013 #50

This thread kind of went sideways tina tron Dec 2013 #20

Oh please! Get over it! dem in texas Dec 2013 #23

those words are aimed more towards the PArents JI7 Dec 2013 #24

I hate the term, "The way to a man's heart is thru his stomach." FSogol Dec 2013 #25

on hearing that line the boss at home adds, no its through the breastbone loli phabay Dec 2013 #85

I've heard the term "spoiled rotten" many times but, I've never known anyone to interpreter the term ladjf Dec 2013 #28

I have a niece Jenoch Dec 2013 #29

Rarely does anyone actually say this directly to children Trajan Dec 2013 #32

I agree. elleng Dec 2013 #33

What other terms should we use for the little demons? CFLDem Dec 2013 #34

You do know people don't throw spoiled rotten kids in the trash....right??? ileus Dec 2013 #38

Then how do you explain the thousands of homeless minor youth on the streets Bluenorthwest Dec 2013 #81

I've got a 7 year old second grader and she's the best. Phlem Dec 2013 #39

Also, we do parents night out with some neighbors and Phlem Dec 2013 #60

A million times this ^^^^ laundry_queen Dec 2013 #62

Thanks my friend. Phlem Dec 2013 #64

Can you be my mom/dad? BrotherIvan Dec 2013 #65

Thanks bud Phlem Dec 2013 #68

I don't know what possessed you to step into this? dballance Dec 2013 #41

I see it as a vindictive against the Parents. jazzimov Dec 2013 #43

The fact that they are a child does not endow them with an unassailable innocence... Decaffeinated Dec 2013 #47

"Ruined by their parents" Phlem Dec 2013 #49

The Oompa Loompa know all about that. Liberal Veteran Dec 2013 #53

Nice catch! Phlem Dec 2013 #57

A lot is genetics, siblings, classmates, teachers, friends, peer groups, etc. FarCenter Dec 2013 #80

True Phlem Dec 2013 #86

I use the phrase BlueToTheBone Dec 2013 #51

Oh for God's sake.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #55

#gruntspeak Liberal Veteran Dec 2013 #58

"Duckspeak" from 1984 deutsey Dec 2013 #84

So what? Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #61

Good point. Also, calling a child "spoiled rotten" implies Ken Burch Dec 2013 #63

It certainly does have consequences. Kids are labeled very early in life as trouble makers, and liberal_at_heart Dec 2013 #69

you have to remember there is a subset of DUers who wish the human species would just stop liberal_at_heart Dec 2013 #67

What else are you supposed to besides tolerate them? Decaffeinated Dec 2013 #72

It's more a comment on the adult's HappyMe Dec 2013 #73

I don't. Iggo Dec 2013 #75

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #76

... Puglover Dec 2013 #78

I had a brother-in-law(now ex) who used to call me and my sibs "the three spoiled brats." raccoon Dec 2013 #79

God does make bad children FatBuddy Dec 2013 #82

I'll have to say Phlem Dec 2013 #87