General Discussion

RainDog

(28,784 posts)

91. Yeah. First kids get a lot more "attention"

Wed Dec 18, 2013, 07:01 PM

Dec 2013

from people trying to tell others how to parent. These same people, fwiw, were critical of other people, not just me, for so many things. I actually had more behavior challenges with my second child, over the years.

I should also clarify that my son with autism had melt downs that lasted after the terrible twos - but he is one of the kindest and sweetest young men someone could ever meet. By the time he started first grade he was fine. He loved to go to school.

I noticed on an autism thread you mentioned your son liked theater. So does mine. He says he gets to pretend to be "neurotypical." He also loves to sing and was all state vocal jazz. He loves musicals, but doesn't have the coordination and sense of place in space for dancing - but, to improve his skills, he took dance classes, even - on his own. I admire him for his willingness to do such things. He did have a chance to be in a musical a month or two ago, but the part didn't involve much dance for him. The director may have accommodated the role for him, not sure, because it was one of the leads.

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I've got a real problem with children being described as "spoiled rotten" [View all] tina tron Dec 2013 OP

You obviously have not met some of the children I have. OffWithTheirHeads Dec 2013 #1

I suppose "entitled, narcissistic and overindulged" might be better. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #2

overindulged maybe laundry_queen Dec 2013 #52

Lighten Up. n-t Logical Dec 2013 #3

Really? Would "overindulged precious snowflake" work? Liberal Veteran Dec 2013 #4

It's a demeaning put down tina tron Dec 2013 #12

'Scar them for life'? Talk about hyperbole... idwiyo Dec 2013 #19

+1! -nt CrispyQ Dec 2013 #48

Most of the time, parents are to blame, no argument there. Liberal Veteran Dec 2013 #26

Saying a child is spoiled rotten is an insult to the parents. I don't think for a second they're okaawhatever Dec 2013 #40

I think it can cause harm when used often and with contempt laundry_queen Dec 2013 #56

I think it's difficult to quantify or qualify the impact of an expression when the person using it okaawhatever Dec 2013 #71

No, it's not a demeaning put down. It's a description Tansy_Gold Dec 2013 #42

The expression is a criticism of the parents Yo_Mama Dec 2013 #44

And what would you call adults who exhibit similar behaviors? TBF Dec 2013 #74

Freepers and Teabaggers!! madinmaryland Dec 2013 #89

Good response! nt TBF Dec 2013 #90

OR, you've seen children whose horrible behavior has been enabled by bad parents rustydog Dec 2013 #5

That is normal behavior for very young kids -- ages 2 to 5 or so. Arugula Latte Dec 2013 #6

This and sometimes a little one just becomes tired and overwhelmed Skidmore Dec 2013 #11

Sorry, it isn't. Maybe it's normal where you live but it's sure as hell isn't here. idwiyo Dec 2013 #21

Lol if you really think tantrums are unusual for toddler/preschoolers. Arugula Latte Dec 2013 #27

LOL no kidding. laundry_queen Dec 2013 #59

Yes, it's a normal part of early childhood development. Arugula Latte Dec 2013 #66

i'm not a parent... keroro gunsou Dec 2013 #46

Change 5 to 3 and I agree with you. (nt) TacoD Dec 2013 #83

A qualifier, a 2-3 year old throwing a tantrum nadinbrzezinski Dec 2013 #8

Toddlers have tantrums because they're toddlers gollygee Dec 2013 #16

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #77

Another point on this: Arugula Latte Dec 2013 #88

People said my oldest son was spoiled RainDog Dec 2013 #7

I agree with small children. It's best to look for a reason for the behavior Cleita Dec 2013 #15

+1000 lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #70

Yeah. First kids get a lot more "attention" RainDog Dec 2013 #91

I would suggest ..... oldhippie Dec 2013 #9

It's not hyperbole tina tron Dec 2013 #14

WW aikoaiko Dec 2013 #10

I never considered any child under four as responsible no Cleita Dec 2013 #13

oy tjwash Dec 2013 #17

I envy you Skittles Dec 2013 #18

Yes thank you, it is. tina tron Dec 2013 #22

then you should be angry at your parents, not anyone here. Sorry that happened to you bettyellen Dec 2013 #30

I am sorry you were abused as a child nadinbrzezinski Dec 2013 #31

aah so now we have the real issue Skittles Dec 2013 #35

skittles tina tron Dec 2013 #36

wooooooooooooosh Skittles Dec 2013 #54

I have PTSD from that same exact thing Phlem Dec 2013 #37

Wait? Saying spoiled rotten is bad, but physical abuse is good? n/t Taitertots Dec 2013 #45

I know. Phlem Dec 2013 #50

This thread kind of went sideways tina tron Dec 2013 #20

Oh please! Get over it! dem in texas Dec 2013 #23

those words are aimed more towards the PArents JI7 Dec 2013 #24

I hate the term, "The way to a man's heart is thru his stomach." FSogol Dec 2013 #25

on hearing that line the boss at home adds, no its through the breastbone loli phabay Dec 2013 #85

I've heard the term "spoiled rotten" many times but, I've never known anyone to interpreter the term ladjf Dec 2013 #28

I have a niece Jenoch Dec 2013 #29

Rarely does anyone actually say this directly to children Trajan Dec 2013 #32

I agree. elleng Dec 2013 #33

What other terms should we use for the little demons? CFLDem Dec 2013 #34

You do know people don't throw spoiled rotten kids in the trash....right??? ileus Dec 2013 #38

Then how do you explain the thousands of homeless minor youth on the streets Bluenorthwest Dec 2013 #81

I've got a 7 year old second grader and she's the best. Phlem Dec 2013 #39

Also, we do parents night out with some neighbors and Phlem Dec 2013 #60

A million times this ^^^^ laundry_queen Dec 2013 #62

Thanks my friend. Phlem Dec 2013 #64

Can you be my mom/dad? BrotherIvan Dec 2013 #65

Thanks bud Phlem Dec 2013 #68

I don't know what possessed you to step into this? dballance Dec 2013 #41

I see it as a vindictive against the Parents. jazzimov Dec 2013 #43

The fact that they are a child does not endow them with an unassailable innocence... Decaffeinated Dec 2013 #47

"Ruined by their parents" Phlem Dec 2013 #49

The Oompa Loompa know all about that. Liberal Veteran Dec 2013 #53

Nice catch! Phlem Dec 2013 #57

A lot is genetics, siblings, classmates, teachers, friends, peer groups, etc. FarCenter Dec 2013 #80

True Phlem Dec 2013 #86

I use the phrase BlueToTheBone Dec 2013 #51

Oh for God's sake.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #55

#gruntspeak Liberal Veteran Dec 2013 #58

"Duckspeak" from 1984 deutsey Dec 2013 #84

So what? Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #61

Good point. Also, calling a child "spoiled rotten" implies Ken Burch Dec 2013 #63

It certainly does have consequences. Kids are labeled very early in life as trouble makers, and liberal_at_heart Dec 2013 #69

you have to remember there is a subset of DUers who wish the human species would just stop liberal_at_heart Dec 2013 #67

What else are you supposed to besides tolerate them? Decaffeinated Dec 2013 #72

It's more a comment on the adult's HappyMe Dec 2013 #73

I don't. Iggo Dec 2013 #75

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #76

... Puglover Dec 2013 #78

I had a brother-in-law(now ex) who used to call me and my sibs "the three spoiled brats." raccoon Dec 2013 #79

God does make bad children FatBuddy Dec 2013 #82

I'll have to say Phlem Dec 2013 #87