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solarhydrocan

(551 posts)
9. It goes something like this...
Thu Dec 19, 2013, 02:43 AM
Dec 2013

Last edited Thu Dec 19, 2013, 04:37 AM - Edit history (1)

Directed by a beardy-guy from a cave in Afghanistan, nineteen hard-drinking, coke-snorting, devout Muslims enjoy lap dances before their mission to meet Allah…

Using nothing more than craft knifes, they overpower cabin crew, passengers and pilots on four planes…And hangover or not, they manage to give the world’s most sophisticated air defense system the slip…

Unphased by leaving their “How to Fly a Passenger Jet” guide in the car at the airport, they master the controls in no-time and score direct hits on two towers, causing THREE to collapse completely…

Our masterminds even manage to overpower the odd law of physics or two… and the world watches in awe as steel-framed buildings fall symmetrically – through their own mass – at free-fall speed, for the first time in history.

Despite all their dastardly cunning, they stupidly give their identity away by using explosion-proof passports, which survive the fireball undamaged and fall to the ground… only to be discovered by the incredible crime-fighting sleuths at the FBI.

Meanwhile down in Washington…Hani Hanjour, having previously flunked 2-man Cessna flying school, gets carried away with all the success of the day and suddenly finds incredible abilities behind the controls of a Boeing…

Instead of flying straight down into the large roof area of the Pentagon, he decides to show off a little…Executing an incredible 270 degree downward spiral, he levels off to hit the low facade of the world’s most heavily defended building……all without a single shot being fired…. or ruining the nicely mowed lawn… and all at a speed just too fast to capture on video……

Later, in the skies above Pennsylvania…So desperate to talk to loved ones before their death, some passengers use sheer willpower to connect mobile calls that otherwise would not be possible until several years later…

And following a heroic attempt by some to retake control of Flight 93, it crashes into a Shankesville field leaving no trace of engines, fuselage or occupants… except for the standard issue Muslim terrorists bandana……

Further south in Florida…President Bush, our brave Commander-in-Chief continues to read “My Pet Goat” to a class full of primary school children… shrugging off the obvious possibility that his life could be in imminent danger…

In New York…Trade Center leaseholder Larry Silverstein blesses his own foresight in insuring the buildings against terrorist attack only six weeks previously…While back in Washington...

Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz shake their heads in disbelief at their own luck in getting the ‘New Pearl Harbor’ catalyzing event they so desired to pursue their agenda of world domination…

And finally, not to be disturbed too much by reports of their own deaths, at least 11 of our 19 suicide hijackers turn up alive and kicking in lamestream media reports.

Edit to add: This was copied from a post which was copied from another post and so forth --the original source is long forgotten but it was not written by me.

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Sorry, 9/11 for those that don't know what my OP was Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #1
I read that long 9/11 thread on LBN, so I know what your post is referring to. Raksha Dec 2013 #24
I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. OffWithTheirHeads Dec 2013 #2
Let me simplfy this for you. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #6
Clarification or a link explaining the Official Conspiracy Theory please. nt okaawhatever Dec 2013 #3
Sure, no problemo. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #8
It goes something like this... solarhydrocan Dec 2013 #9
Well, geez, when you put it that way, it kinda sounds funny... TwilightGardener Dec 2013 #10
No kiddin' Kurovski Dec 2013 #18
I've got 15 hours in the pilots seat of a Cessna 172. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #13
I love it Politicalboi Dec 2013 #14
Boggles the mind... Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #16
See my post below...these guys got played. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #17
Well, except for your points.... Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #19
Nicely condensed in my opinion n/t indie9197 Dec 2013 #22
Whoever wrote that, it's one of the best pieces of black humor I've read in a long time. Raksha Dec 2013 #25
I'm sending it to my brother Ichingcarpenter Dec 2013 #27
Multiple problems with this Spider Jerusalem Dec 2013 #28
MIHOP or LIHOP mwrguy Dec 2013 #4
It's the 9/11 Commission Report Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #20
Truthers are really pouting up a storm since Chomsky geek tragedy Dec 2013 #5
So you are an OCT backer - which was what the OP was asking, which are you... n/t ChisolmTrailDem Dec 2013 #7
I agree with 90%_ of what you state here on DU. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #11
No, all evil started on November 22, 1963. Raksha Dec 2013 #26
Barack Obama, Jon Stewart, Phil Donahue, Bill Moyers, Elizabeth Warren, greyl Dec 2013 #12
They post at DU? Cite for the "vast majority" please. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #15
I'm a MIHOP person myself madokie Dec 2013 #21
It's a fact that remote capability to fly 4 engine Boeings has existed since 1984 solarhydrocan Dec 2013 #23
GD Host - LOCKING idwiyo Dec 2013 #29
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