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In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]bettyellen
(47,209 posts)312. I love the part about how he loves her because she totally spoils him, as if solicitous servicing
from your partner is what matters most. Nothing else about her is notable. Kind of sounds like a person who could not hack a modern marriage in the US. And reminiscent of those who purchase overseas brides.
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Pregnancy is risky and uncomfortable. Labor is agony. And women bear the brunt of the work
Warpy
Jan 2014
#160
There are individuals here with a vested interest in ensuring that NO discussion of this nature ...
11 Bravo
Jan 2014
#107
I'ts absurd and illogical to hold a child responsible for actions he/she had no control over
kcr
Jan 2014
#158
No. Don't pass judgement. I respect her decision and am waiting until she is ready to pursue a
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#20
It is, but I accept. I just turned 35. I can wait a little longer if she wants to wait.
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#22
why would you follow some parts of the culture (staying together if miserable) and not others...
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#92
Nice ethnocentric attitude. Culture is already fucked up according to me
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#263
Bullshit- you're doing a cafeteria version of the Chinese culture, so no reason to feel bound to it.
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#290
I'd be pissed if my husband posted my real name and email address online on some forum.
JTFrog
Jan 2014
#305
will you respect it if she chooses never to bear a child? she may expect to be ready someday...
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#91
Yes. . .I will. However, knowing Chinese culture and the overwhelming desire for
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#192
No, it's the height of ignorance to assume every woman wants to bear children….
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#202
Okay. . .buddy. I am an American. If I call my wife a "girl," she will scream she is not
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#212
I love the part about how he loves her because she totally spoils him, as if solicitous servicing
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#312
and WTF with all the- "I'm just posing a question" about a repulsive idea- not that I have ANY skin
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#315
the funny twist is- "I am so assimilated into this backward culture it is not my fault…"
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#319
and the weird comment- go ahead and contact her- it's futile! Bwaaah ha ha ha *twirls mustache*
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#338
QQ numbers are not phone numbers. God in heaven, I am so glad I left the States if this
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#356
You made the assumption I am mistreating her and saying "if you could, you'd tell her to run
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#359
It's called "calling a bluff." Good God, they give out their QQ numbers to complete strangers
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#362
They also do selective abortions, which is why there are more boys than girls in China
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#363
Ah, you are American, which explains why you do not try to respect the culture of those you're
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#288
I was noting you hand't picked up the Asian extra polite style of interaction, and instead insult
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#368
why did you post all these racial slurs here? you are not ignorant of American culture as to think
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#369
"This is different than men in China who will force the child on their wives"
amuse bouche
Jan 2014
#281
Refusal to have kids is a justifiable reason for divorce according to the Church
catbyte
Jan 2014
#109
Apart from an unhappy marriage, it sounds like he made the right call...
ReasonableToo
Jan 2014
#111
Because it's in the best interest of the child. He's not allowed to financially
geek tragedy
Jan 2014
#150
better question is why are you pushing anti-choice propaganda by claiming
geek tragedy
Jan 2014
#167
The man is financially responsible, not legally, for the child. Simple legalese.
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#203
maybe you should head over to Free Republic where your fellow forced birthers and anti-choice
geek tragedy
Jan 2014
#175
The child deserves to be financially supported by both parents. Period (nt)
PotatoChip
Jan 2014
#343
adigal is a forced birther and anti-choice--thinks that if a man gets a woman pregnant
geek tragedy
Jan 2014
#174
I do not know your gender, ergo the neutral term. It's a deficiency of the English language
geek tragedy
Jan 2014
#185
She agreed to take his opinion into consideration when she married him. nt
freedom fighter jh
Jan 2014
#128
I am sure she is taking his opinion into consideration. She just isn't following it. As is her right
Squinch
Jan 2014
#143
I had this problem with someone once, "you asked my opinion but didn't do what I advised". Well, yes
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#204
Again, I will clarify. she wants a child. . .not now though. I accept.
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#31
again, the discussion happened. the answer is "not now. soon, but not now."
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#46
Then you have your answer. She has consented to have children when she's ready, if she's being
Cleita
Jan 2014
#47
IMHO, since you and she are married, this is something you both need to discuss
BlueCaliDem
Jan 2014
#52
If your wife is saying "not now, soon," then I would suggest that you talk to her about
msanthrope
Jan 2014
#63
"only option"? They can wait, see if minds are changed later. He can be involved with other children
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#205
Since the OP said he is fine doing that, yes, it is great advice. Glad you agree.
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#208
Uh huh. He said he is fine waiting. So nice of you to be so concerned for others. Bless your little
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#215
And he has you to tell him whether to be happy and content. How sweet for you to take that on.
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#219
"I'm curious how much fathers and husbands matter in family planning"=advise him to get a divorce?
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#228
"get a divorce" doesn'tanswer the question of "how much say does a man...have" at all. Nope.
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#243
If he's not getting what he wants in the marriage, then yes, it's a great answer.
Vashta Nerada
Jan 2014
#248
And since he says he is fine with waiting, well, you MUST know best, after all! Right?
uppityperson
Jan 2014
#249
You have to think about the child. If a woman is the least bit hesitant or reluctant
Common Sense Party
Jan 2014
#84
I had an abortion when I was 16. It hurt my father deeply, but it was what was best for me
liberal_at_heart
Jan 2014
#181
I am 64 and deliberately childless, and none of your reasoning applies to me.
WinkyDink
Jan 2014
#131
For my part, none. Although we can discuss it, the ultimate decision will always be hers and hers al
LanternWaste
Jan 2014
#105
hopefully you've discussed the reasons that she's not ready to be a mother
ReasonableToo
Jan 2014
#115
After my second child, I just knew I couldn't handle anymore. I didn't realize how hard it would be
liberal_at_heart
Jan 2014
#147
"Again, I am not one of these men's movement assholes" - Yet you want control over anothers body?
Ohio Joe
Jan 2014
#163
No, it was a question. I am so glad I left the States seven years ago.
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#220
Non-sense. The OP presented MRA bullshit as though it were a point worthy of debate
Ohio Joe
Jan 2014
#231
So... You think ownership of another person is some philosophical idea with merit
Ohio Joe
Jan 2014
#270
The question is simple... And very hard to misunderstand. I'll put it here again
Ohio Joe
Jan 2014
#333
Nonsense. There is no room for debate this "philosophical idea" of controlling women's reproduction
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#292
did you miss the part where he said he "almost completely" agrees, LOL? there is no almost pregnant
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#347
he put a persons right for control of their own body up for debate- and is angry that he was
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#353
When medical science figures out a way to extract a fetus without harming the mother, we get a voice
Xithras
Jan 2014
#216
I understand that. Which is how I felt at the beginning. I just wanted to see if I wasn't alone.
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#261
Everyone agreed that you had every right to divorce her if you wanted a kid, but daring to ask
liberal_at_heart
Jan 2014
#285
too bad he is not assimilated enough to shake off the rude combative attitude, ha ha.
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#320
Having taken care of literally thousands of women during childbirth over the years...
Butterbean
Jan 2014
#250
The woman faces the possibility of dying. You do not. Therefore the decision rests with her
riderinthestorm
Jan 2014
#252
You married a woman 11 years younger than you. I'm sure there are good reasons for that, but
Egalitarian Thug
Jan 2014
#264
I married a woman younger than me because most of the women I've met my age are either
Nanjing to Seoul
Jan 2014
#265
I didn't say you were, in fact I assumed that that is out of the question.
Egalitarian Thug
Jan 2014
#266
Thug, LOL? Are you attempting to pepper this conversation with the insults du jour at DU?
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#294
Oh, LOL. I had noticed that they picked up "buddy" from a post I wrote on another thread
bettyellen
Jan 2014
#311
Simple, pair yourself with someone who wants the same things that you do. eom
mfcorey1
Jan 2014
#273
NO ONE has the right to force any woman to bear a child against her wishes.
kestrel91316
Jan 2014
#350
If one parent wants a child and the other dosen't, then don't have the child. The parent who
1monster
Jan 2014
#354
You cannot force someone to be pregnant... Not for one day, not for nine months... Not at all.
targetpractice
Jan 2014
#367