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[JDPriestly]

40. My experience is that infidelity is rarely the real reason people divorce.

Rather the person cheating did it because there was some other problem in the marriage such as that one partner was mentally too unbalanced or was taking drugs or the couple had serious financial problems or had simply grown apart.

For example, one partner has an affair, but the real problem is that the couple cannot agree on how to handle their finances. In another example, the wife is a meth addict.

Infidelity can be dealt with through various means including therapy if both spouses want to deal with it, but other, more serious problems cannot be dealt with. Often, an affair is a means to tell the spouse who is "betrayed" that there is a problem when other means of communication have broken down.

I recommend that people look into non-violent communication. http://www.cnvc.org/