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pipi_k

(21,020 posts)

198. When having "empathy" for others...

Tue Mar 11, 2014, 05:40 PM

Mar 2014

one also has to figure out whether acting on that "empathy" will do greater damage than what triggered the "empathy" in the first place.

While trying to do good, a person should also avoid harming others.

I'd like to know how taking a child away from its parent(s) because of smoking would NOT do more harm to it. Like someone above pointed out, take a kid away from its parents and it gets shoved into the foster care system, which can often be a living hell.

In any case, having empathy isn't a bad thing. What is a bad thing is when well-meaning but clueless people don't know when to get involved and when to butt out.

PS...and this opinion is coming from someone who is a former smoker. One of those pain in the ass people that current smokers love to hate because we're so adamant about people quitting. But in this case, I don't agree that removing children from a smoking parent is a good thing.

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This message was self-deleted by its author [View all] alp227 Mar 2014 OP

And it's your concern why? HipChick Mar 2014 #1

+1 1000words Mar 2014 #2

because I believe people have the right not to breathe others' filth alp227 Mar 2014 #4

Your first thought was "to take away her children." 1000words Mar 2014 #9

hate to ask but what IS the progressive stance on taking children away from families? alp227 Mar 2014 #10

"parental rights" is a parental movement pintobean Mar 2014 #29

keeping kids safe from things that will harm them is authoritarian? wow think of all those leftyohiolib Mar 2014 #79

Let me know when pintobean Mar 2014 #98

Yep. Not ticketed. Not fined. Not censured or shamed. Iggo Mar 2014 #121

"Parental rights" is an actual thing in law, like "marital rights", not owned by the RW Hekate Mar 2014 #48

I think "taking children away from families" really ought to be reserved for egregiously fucked up Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #139

Your childhood Dorian Gray Mar 2014 #147

Yep. Grew up in the Midwest, and it was all "it's too cold out to roll the windows down!" Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #165

My husband's Dorian Gray Mar 2014 #169

yeah, it so frustrates me about parents who are so callous they'd smoke with their children present. alp227 Mar 2014 #176

I've moved on, in my own case. Certainly watching my Dad die of lung cancer didn't endear me to Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #177

+ 1000 2pooped2pop Mar 2014 #178

Children have rights to be with the parents they love. Denying children those rights is a Right sabrina 1 Mar 2014 #161

If you were going to critically thing about this issue... MrMickeysMom Mar 2014 #85

You're absolutely correct: Feral Child Mar 2014 #90

But in the end, you walked away and did mind your own business. Cofitachequi Mar 2014 #95

But for the record, i my "polito-dictionary" Cofitachequi Mar 2014 #99

There is no way the trauma of being taken away from home and put in foster care gollygee Mar 2014 #108

It's about someone's choice Rider3 Mar 2014 #181

Take away the children? yeoman6987 Mar 2014 #66

This is why AtheistCrusader Mar 2014 #199

Seriously? Viva_La_Revolution Mar 2014 #3

/\ this x1000000 deathrind Mar 2014 #86

++ yes... Voice for Peace Mar 2014 #171

I would be far more concerned if the child was sitting next pipoman Mar 2014 #5

A simple case of MYOB seveneyes Mar 2014 #6

No. A simple case of EMPATHY for others. alp227 Mar 2014 #8

Your problem is that you lack empathy, not that you have too much of it. nt Hekate Mar 2014 #33

How? How? How? How? HOW? alp227 Mar 2014 #75

Empathy: The ability to recognize and share someone else's feelings; actively understanding them Hekate Mar 2014 #83

Typically, the term "ignorant fuckwad" does not denote an excess of empathy Orrex Mar 2014 #91

She meant impathy Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #92

I think empathy would lead you to help and support the mother, Voice for Peace Mar 2014 #172

true. but smoking annoys me enough I had such impure thoughts. nt alp227 Mar 2014 #184

very few smokers are proud of being smokers. Voice for Peace Mar 2014 #200

It's more fun to indulge in hate Mariana Mar 2014 #212

When having "empathy" for others... pipi_k Mar 2014 #198

Smoking? Outdoors?!? OUTRAGEOUS!!! Orrex Mar 2014 #7

I think we have room in the Fema Camps Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #18

Don't even waste your time, alp227. Aristus Mar 2014 #11

Exactly. Look at the other OPs I've started about 2nd hand smoke alp227 Mar 2014 #14

You were expecting something different? notadmblnd Mar 2014 #67

Bingo Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #72

I'm missing something, Capt. O, Feral Child Mar 2014 #94

To feel righteous. Mariana Mar 2014 #120

Kinda glad Feral Child Mar 2014 #162

In religious terms, it's kind of like being a Calvinist: You know the Truth, and everyone else... Hekate Mar 2014 #77

thank you for your posts. Voice for Peace Mar 2014 #173

Always the same reaction Dorian Gray Mar 2014 #151

Perhaps she should be forcibly sterilized to protect future children from her evil. Orrex Mar 2014 #27

Or she should just stop smoking. Aristus Mar 2014 #32

Or you could start smoking Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #42

You may have missed the point, which is that smoking is not healthy. Aristus Mar 2014 #54

Smoking is not the only thing in this life that is unhealthy. Autumn Mar 2014 #100

Science is not on your side on this one. Aristus Mar 2014 #102

I disagree, I don't believe there is a safe level of drinking. Science changes all the time. Autumn Mar 2014 #111

As with the flat-earthers, your belief does not out-weigh the science. Aristus Mar 2014 #112

flat-earthers?? Autumn Mar 2014 #115

Flat-earthers. Aristus Mar 2014 #124

For now? That might change after a few drinks Autumn Mar 2014 #134

That's his addiction speaking Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #125

I kind of gathered that with the insult and defensiveness. Autumn Mar 2014 #131

Science has also determined that second hand smoke risk is cumulative... Lizzie Poppet Mar 2014 #126

I've never smoked anything in my life. Orrex Mar 2014 #53

In your world, perhaps, reasonal medical concern equates with pearl-clutching. Aristus Mar 2014 #56

What is the reasonable medical concern, exactly? Orrex Mar 2014 #64

That's your addiction speaking Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #57

That's an attempt to distract me from your attempt to distract me from Benghazi. Orrex Mar 2014 #61

We can turn this thread into a Benghazi thread if you prefer Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #63

damn you, Candy Crush Voice for Peace Mar 2014 #175

junkies get mad when u start dissin the junk leftyohiolib Mar 2014 #82

No doubt. Aristus Mar 2014 #104

Smoking around non smokers is selfish. In_The_Wind Mar 2014 #153

You can just call us the Friends of Free Choice... Lost_Count Mar 2014 #191

The child doesn't get a choice. Aristus Mar 2014 #197

You should start a charity... Lost_Count Mar 2014 #206

I was trying to think of all the ways that was a stupid post. Aristus Mar 2014 #208

The reason people like you are disturbing... Lost_Count Mar 2014 #209

Well, I'm a medical provider. Aristus Mar 2014 #210

Peachy for you... Lost_Count Mar 2014 #211

Growing up in the 60's/70's many adults smoked near children itsrobert Mar 2014 #12

Actually it is in CA (you have a Laker avatar...are you in CA too?) alp227 Mar 2014 #17

thanks itsrobert Mar 2014 #71

My mother was a nurse and she smoked throughout her pregnancies. Laffy Kat Mar 2014 #35

Yep, it's a new one. Iggo Mar 2014 #135

Your rights end where her nose begins. Where she smokes is HER business. Not yours. shraby Mar 2014 #13

wow. try "it's none of your fucking business" on for size cali Mar 2014 #15

That made me laugh... HipChick Mar 2014 #30

Best response so far! LibertyLover Mar 2014 #51

My thought also. CVN-68 Mar 2014 #110

hey, welcome to DU! cali Mar 2014 #117

Thank you kindly. CVN-68 Mar 2014 #122

You passed up such a golden opportunity to be a nosy busy body Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #16

Mother is wrong PowerToThePeople Mar 2014 #19

Sorry to tell you this MO_Moderate Mar 2014 #20

Foster care is much more harmful to children than walking next to a parents smoking. OregonBlue Mar 2014 #21

Some people would say that your parents didn't love you Mariana Mar 2014 #128

I'm 65. When I was growing up, everyone's parents smoked around them. OregonBlue Mar 2014 #188

YES TAKE AWAY THE CHILDREN!! sharp_stick Mar 2014 #22

That could be an awesome teaching moment. Autumn Mar 2014 #149

Take away her children? RobertEarl Mar 2014 #23

+1 Gidney N Cloyd Mar 2014 #31

Why not go home with them and see what she feeds the kid? If... TreasonousBastard Mar 2014 #24

They were outside? Oh, FFS. Lizzie Poppet Mar 2014 #25

This non-smoker says: Get. A. Grip. Hekate Mar 2014 #26

+1000 recs HipChick Mar 2014 #28

+1000 recs SmittynMo Mar 2014 #62

+1 n/t jaysunb Mar 2014 #39

Couldn't have said it better myself. wercal Mar 2014 #59

"seek professional help"? alp227 Mar 2014 #74

What legitimate question? You fantasized about acts of verbal violence. You have real anger issues. Hekate Mar 2014 #87

yep, if you think taking the children away is a good idea- you need to help figuring out exactly how bettyellen Mar 2014 #146

Exactly! Amaya Mar 2014 #167

That kid will probably be just fine without your help. Gidney N Cloyd Mar 2014 #34

While I sympathize with your concern Kelvin Mace Mar 2014 #36

I am in favor of a law stating NO SMOKING outside within x amount of feet of any children... Tikki Mar 2014 #37

No point having a big confrontation, IMO LeftishBrit Mar 2014 #38

PS- and CERTAINLY no cause to take someone's kid away! LeftishBrit Mar 2014 #148

The smokers defend any smoking anywhere! nt Logical Mar 2014 #40

huh? really? I haven't noticed that. cali Mar 2014 #41

I'm not even a smoker ... allergic to it, in fact. 1000words Mar 2014 #50

I'm not a smoker. I think the OP needs to mind his own business. Throd Mar 2014 #114

I don't. Exposing kids to smoke is not what a normal parent does. n-t Logical Mar 2014 #214

Who defines "normal"? Throd Mar 2014 #216

Are you ready to take the child Sissyk Mar 2014 #219

My aunt has lung cancer abelenkpe Mar 2014 #43

I hope we can get this on the front page of DU Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #44

Smoking is a true curse packman Mar 2014 #45

If you tried to take away someone's child for that ... MicaelS Mar 2014 #46

One good thing to remember is that 90 per cent of everything is none of your business. Morning Dew Mar 2014 #47

You sound like a bad person. cthulu2016 Mar 2014 #49

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2014 #52

I fully agree with the "no smoking near a door" laws. Lizzie Poppet Mar 2014 #58

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2014 #65

Smudging with kale might help. uppityperson Mar 2014 #105

Having an objectionable odor that wafts into your space is not the same as being deadly to you Hekate Mar 2014 #152

Go away. Comrade Grumpy Mar 2014 #55

The smoke police are driving me mad Politicalboi Mar 2014 #60

wow that's the dumbest thing i think ive read. religion doesnt give you lung cancer leftyohiolib Mar 2014 #88

You ever been in the foster care system? Do you have the slightest idea what you are saying here? SomethingFishy Mar 2014 #68

Sigh. there are people out there who I wish were not parents. alp227 Mar 2014 #78

No, it's not even close. SomethingFishy Mar 2014 #109

you becoming a parent frightens me more- the lack of sense you have over what would be right for the bettyellen Mar 2014 #143

Seriously. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2014 #144

+1000 Sissyk Mar 2014 #220

Who were you going to call, the police? boston bean Mar 2014 #69

The OP wasn't going to do shit Mariana Mar 2014 #204

I was wondering that too. I'm glad I read the whole thread before I responded. Captain Stern Mar 2014 #215

if this is what you would teach a child, give me the smokin' parent. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #70

Perspective KT2000 Mar 2014 #73

Relax! Smoking is actually good for children, kittens, and puppies. Zorra Mar 2014 #76

This is the first time you've seen this? RiffRandell Mar 2014 #80

Wow... deathrind Mar 2014 #81

It's funny? amuse bouche Mar 2014 #118

The deathrind Mar 2014 #187

Still not funny. amuse bouche Mar 2014 #192

I think we should establish government committees that closely monitor all potentially harmful or Douglas Carpenter Mar 2014 #84

This is one of the most reprehenible and inhuman things I have ever seen on DU Bluenorthwest Mar 2014 #89

+ LiberalAndProud Mar 2014 #97

Take away her children? KamaAina Mar 2014 #93

In fact, the OP did nothing at all Mariana Mar 2014 #150

A distinct lack of courage for their conviction? CVN-68 Mar 2014 #155

Communication can be difficult pintobean Mar 2014 #157

! Mariana Mar 2014 #166

That depends entirely on whether one thinks the child is indeed being harmed. Lizzie Poppet Mar 2014 #156

Well put. CVN-68 Mar 2014 #158

The OP thought the danger was so great Mariana Mar 2014 #164

None of your business. Was her child beaten, bruised or starving? Autumn Mar 2014 #96

Was it illegal for her to smoke where she was? CVN-68 Mar 2014 #101

Take a trip to Paris or Madrid and you will see this many times each day. Nye Bevan Mar 2014 #103

I detest smoking too amuse bouche Mar 2014 #106

It's time to see a psychiatrist. DesMoinesDem Mar 2014 #107

I can't imagine the secondhand smoke is doing too much damage outside gollygee Mar 2014 #113

TRUE STORY: Adrahil Mar 2014 #116

You are unhinged. Throd Mar 2014 #119

Very true. JackRiddler Mar 2014 #130

My brain must be over-imaginative. I must be overly moralistic. alp227 Mar 2014 #194

Come down off the cross. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2014 #201

It's a shame that she does this around her child LittleBlue Mar 2014 #123

You have got to be fucking kidding me. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2014 #127

I saw this woman driving. JackRiddler Mar 2014 #129

I can't make sense of your op. NCTraveler Mar 2014 #132

How would you have felt if it was a MAN smoking around kids? Warpy Mar 2014 #133

ANYONE who smokes near kids is inconsiderate and unhealthy period. nt alp227 Mar 2014 #137

ANYONE suggesting that children should be taken away because an adult CVN-68 Mar 2014 #142

Wow. Bobbie Jo Mar 2014 #136

Lol pintobean Mar 2014 #141

I don't remember any of this happening before 2008. zappaman Mar 2014 #138

did you drive your car or ride a bus to school...? mike_c Mar 2014 #140

All my smoker friends are dead BlueStreak Mar 2014 #145

How many of your friends are dead Mariana Mar 2014 #154

I don't know BlueStreak Mar 2014 #182

A lot of vitriol spewed towards you in this thread. Vashta Nerada Mar 2014 #159

No need for people to be nasty, I agree. Lizzie Poppet Mar 2014 #160

indeed Douglas Carpenter Mar 2014 #189

Take away her kid because she smokes? Amaya Mar 2014 #163

Are you kidding? I smoked when my kids were young, not in the house adigal Mar 2014 #168

best to clean up our own shortcomings.. this would keep each of us so busy, Voice for Peace Mar 2014 #170

Children get molested in foster care sometimes. bravenak Mar 2014 #174

You had to wonder if it was worth ruining someone's life? phil89 Mar 2014 #179

Some people hate smokers so much Mariana Mar 2014 #183

Health Ghettos HockeyMom Mar 2014 #207

The OP is just trolling. Skeeter Barnes Mar 2014 #185

That's fine if you don't like it. Rider3 Mar 2014 #180

Wow, you were too busy to save a child from perceived abuse? Ino Mar 2014 #186

Please stay away from all children... Lost_Count Mar 2014 #190

I'll just leave this here krawhitham Mar 2014 #193

Didn't watch it yet, but the guy in the thumbnail is right wing radio host Larry Elder, alp227 Mar 2014 #196

If we had these designated smoking areas for outside, it would actually benefit the smoker because.. Tikki Mar 2014 #195

Do all you can working to ban cigarettes HockeyMom Mar 2014 #202

Sigh...how many times do I have to correct the framing? alp227 Mar 2014 #203

Have you had every vaccination around too? HockeyMom Mar 2014 #217

(Facepalm) ARE YOU SERIOUS? VACCINES? you compared tobacco to vaccines? nt alp227 Mar 2014 #221

I don't like it, would never do it, it's disgusting.....but Kilgore Mar 2014 #218

The horror. The horror. pa28 Mar 2014 #205

I remember as a kid my dad used to have me hold his cigerette while driving... dilby Mar 2014 #213