I Just Lost My Mind Listening to the Cluelessness of the First Lady in China [View all]

[Nanjing to Seoul]

Everyone, please understand I live in China. I work in China. I am married in China. This is where my life is. I am working to sell my screenplays in China to places like Huayi Brothers with my new agency, CAA in Beijing. I'm getting my PhD in Chinese history. I teach Geography and History at the AP, IGCSE and A-level. . .and I speak rather good Mandarin. So, I can say I know what I'm talking about.

So, my wife flips on her iPhone and plays a new broadcast of Michelle giving an interview. In it, she says "I look forward to seeing all the new education initiatives here in China that we could try to use in the United States. I look forward to seeing the schools." And I exploded! This woman is God damned clueless.

Let's begin:

1: Chinese classrooms:
LIE MICHELLE WILL BE SHOWN:
Knowing the Chinese Government and their desire for maximum face, they will parade her to the "best" schools, meaning the schools that the elite send their students. Classes of 20 - 25 students in classrooms so clean you can eat off the floor. All in their uniforms pressed and their desks spotless, ready to learn what their teacher is teaching them. All attentive, taking notes, especially on the day Michelle shows up. Just the perfect classes.

REALITY:
Chinese schools are terrible. Most are failing apart. Paint peeling, windows broken, rusty gates, dust that hasn't been cleaned since the Great Leap Forward and guards that are asleep most of the time. Classes are filthy, have between 60 - 65 students in each. . .most students, especially the boys, will be sound asleep, since social promotion is the norm. After all, holding a kid back hurts their self-esteem. What will their friends think? Some kids (no evidence, just urban legends that have more validity than fact) have even committed suicide for failing and the teacher was brought up on criminal charges for creating a condition where the suicide could occur.

2: Chinese curriculum:
LIE MICHELLE WILL BE SHOWN:
Knowing schools here, the teacher will be told the lesson to teach and the students will be given pre-made, intelligent sounding questions that will show how inquisitive and into-the-lesson they are. This will give the appearance of good teaching and a sound educational ideas.

REALITY:
Asking a Chinese student to do any work is almost impossible. Questions are answered with blank stares and a look of "God help me. The teacher is talking to me. What do I do?" If that fear doesn't cripple them, the loss of face for being wrong is even worse, because teachers and schools actively encourage bullying as a form of "toughening up their students." Students rarely ask questions, barely given answers and the most common is "teacher, I don't know."

3: Chinese classroom management:
LIE MICHELLE WILL BE SHOWN:
Knowing Chinese teachers, they will be screaming at their students the day before Obama arrives about how their behavior will be judged poorly on their school, their parents and their teacher. If they have any love for China and their families, they will do everything the teacher says. In class, the teacher will walk around the classroom and do things an American teacher will do. This is because the principal and headmaster will instruct the teacher as to the techniques Michelle Obama is used to seeing in her kids' schools so the teacher should emulate it.

REALITY:
It is a long standing philosophy at all Normal Universities in China for teachers to "just teach the ones that care." If the kid is asleep, don't wake the students up. If the kid fails a test, keep giving the same test until the student gets at least a 70 and then record that grade. Chinese teachers normally do not walk through the class while teaching. They teach at their lectern, using a PPT and speaking in a boring, monotone Ben Stein voice. These is no checking for comprehension or retention. There is no real assessment of knowledge gained, only an appearance of doing the job.

4: Chinese teaching:
LIE MICHELLE WILL BE SHOWN
Test scores. Test scores. Test scores. Chinese students test scores are so damn high it's amazing. American students are stupid because their test scores are low. See, we should do what the Chinese do.

REALITY
All the schools are these days are test preparation centers. From first bell to last bell, they are only taught what is on the test, over and over, day in and day out. They are taught the test. Here in China, it's called "Gaokao." So, all the kids get is the answers to questions on past tests. All they learn is "if the question asks this, the answer is this." Ask a student how they got that answer or what the answer means and prepare for the blankest of blank stares or a reply of "Teacher, why does that matter? I got the answer right." Chinese students are amazing test takers and pitiful students. And the system has made that possible.

All in all, she will get nothing but bullcrap and it will be passed off as reality.

Maybe instead of going to Beijing, Xi'an and Chengdu, she should go to Yinchuan, Pingdingshan, Danyang or some other crap-hole city unannounced to see actual conditions. Then compare it to the states.

But since Michelle has NEVER been a teacher, what the hell does she know about a classroom in the first place?

Rant off, but education policy is my #1 issue. And this president, his wife and my party have thrown teachers under the bus just as much as Bush and Reagan did. Race to the Top is nothing more than a rebranding of "A Nation At Risk."

And using the Chinese education system as a model for improvement is nonsense. Come to Suzhou, Michelle. Sit down with a few of the teachers at my school. I dare you. I don't expect it. It doesn't fit the preconceived narrative.