Spanking children... acceptable or not as discipline?

[SheilaT]

162. If you are responsible for giving Sheila in HR her bath, it is possible

it makes sense you restrict her iPhone usage until that's accomplished. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that your authority over Sheila doesn't extend to her bath.

But since whatever you need to persuade your co-workers and subordinates to do is important to the job, you need to figure out how to do that without resorting to violence. Unfortunately, there are far too many in the workplace who are bullies. More unfortunately, workplace bullying is too often tolerated.

With young children there are ways to control their behavior without spanking. One good way is to change their environment and remove certain dangers. Or control them, as in my example above of carrying my very young children in a parking lot or crossing a street if they wouldn't hold my hand.

Oh, and when they're really young you need to limit explanations. A two year old really doesn't care much about hurting little Bobby's feelings. Just say NO! and figure out a way around what's going on.

When my oldest was about three he had a little friend and they got along famously, except for one particular toy the other kid had, which they'd fight over, crying and hitting each other. That happened about twice, and after that, whenever we came over to that house, the mom put that toy in the closet and the problem was solved. They played cooperatively with everything else except the one, and so we took it away. No need to spank or even yell.

Sometimes you have to be a little imaginative to make it work. There do have to be some sort of punishments or consequences to bad behavior. If Sheila in HR stops bathing, she may well lose her job because of the decline in her personal grooming. She might not be able to afford her iPhone any more. In any case, you don't need to control that. Same with kids. Appropriate consequences work. Maybe not immediately, but over time.