General Discussion

Staph

(6,470 posts)

31. That's my situation.

Mon Apr 21, 2014, 06:49 PM

Apr 2014

I moved out of my apartment (moved away from my parents 25 years ago) and back in with Mom a year ago. She was 89 then, and just needed someone to help out -- do the heavy lifting, reaching to high and low places, that sort of thing.

In the last year, her back pain and other ailments have gotten worse. And I was diagnosed with cancer, undergoing surgery, chemo and radiation (no sign of cancer now, thanks for asking!). So Mom has been taking care of me as much as I have been taking care of her.

Yeah, it took a while for us to work out the new relationship -- so that we are equal adults, and not mother-and-dependent-daughter or caregiver-and-dependent-senior. And finding room for my 25 years of stuff is still an ongoing issue. (Why do I have to throw away my stuff, but Mom gets to keep hers?

I'm still working (part-time consulting) and we split the expenses, though not in an organized way. And it works.

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Moving in with parents becomes more common for the middle-aged [View all] Liberal_in_LA Apr 2014 OP

I can't imagine how incredibly hard it must be Warpy Apr 2014 #1

+ 1 russspeakeasy Apr 2014 #3

In some cultures, this is actually pretty normal, and in fact, could serve to conserve resources. AtheistCrusader Apr 2014 #12

I'm going by what actually did happen when seniors could live independently Warpy Apr 2014 #20

I guess it depends on a variety of factors. AtheistCrusader Apr 2014 #22

It is ok if it is chosen - NOT ok if it becomes the norm TBF Apr 2014 #36

that was me at 40 after 1.5 years of unemployment/underemployment.. frylock Apr 2014 #16

i would like to see it differently. a family unit. like not too far back. seabeyond Apr 2014 #2

The tipoff to how well living with extended family works for most people Warpy Apr 2014 #5

interesting points. i can see that. nt seabeyond Apr 2014 #6

+1 nt riderinthestorm Apr 2014 #27

Good point, but every case is different Patiod Apr 2014 #37

It's nice when it works out well Warpy Apr 2014 #43

There you go! DeSwiss Apr 2014 #10

Glad to know that your parents bullsnarfle Apr 2014 #13

My parents are dead. DeSwiss Apr 2014 #15

No kidding. People from cookies and milk families Warpy Apr 2014 #21

Fortunately the dysfunction in my family died. AtheistCrusader Apr 2014 #24

I hear you Warpy Skittles Apr 2014 #41

This message was self-deleted by its author Warpy Apr 2014 #23

makes sense considering you have to pay $3000 a month to buy a shack snooper2 Apr 2014 #4

So many ignorant comments in LATimes.com. alp227 Apr 2014 #7

Disgusting. narnian60 Apr 2014 #28

Right, because 33 years of Republican ginned-up capitalism is the President's fault. HughBeaumont Apr 2014 #32

yes, that's how latimes anonymous posters behave Liberal_in_LA Apr 2014 #35

End goal of the 1%ers - 3 generations living under one roof is developing world MillennialDem Apr 2014 #8

Not just the middle aged, but the 'just out of college' too. MADem Apr 2014 #9

37 and back to living in the parents basement. obxhead Apr 2014 #11

Most of the blame lies not with POTUS, but with Congress. Arugula Latte Apr 2014 #18

GOPers in Congress are blocking everything Cali_Democrat Apr 2014 #19

i don't think this is all bad , it's the norm for many cultures JI7 Apr 2014 #14

I think it is pretty cool hfojvt Apr 2014 #38

The causation might be bad, but I don't think multi-generational households should be Sen. Walter Sobchak Apr 2014 #17

It is extremely common dotymed Apr 2014 #25

My mom's house isn't big enough for me to move back home and live with her riderinthestorm Apr 2014 #26

It all comes down to your relationship and your space spinbaby Apr 2014 #30

Rremember many of these situations are sparked by parents who need help. Marshall III Apr 2014 #29

That's my situation. Staph Apr 2014 #31

My hat is off to you, I know how hard you are working. Marshall III Apr 2014 #33

I was in your boat exactly Patiod Apr 2014 #40

I'd rather swim with sharks that live with my family. alarimer Apr 2014 #34

elderly mom in story makes middle aged move in daughter go to bed at 7pm Liberal_in_LA Apr 2014 #42

This message was self-deleted by its author gollygee Apr 2014 #39