General Discussion

davidpdx

(22,000 posts)

435. A difficult situation

Sat Jun 14, 2014, 04:02 AM

Jun 2014

I grew up with a single mother as my parents divorced before I was in elementary school. My childhood was fucked up and so was my brother's. I was about the same age as the older boy when I had to take care of my brother. I'll leave it at that.

As a landlord it would be a delicate balancing act between doing nothing and getting too involved. If mom is leaving the kids home alone for any amount of time it puts them in danger. Whether a 10 year old is responsible enough to babysit a 5 year old is certainly worth debating. I don't know all the details and stopped reading halfway through the thread as the comments got so nasty. What would I do? That I don't know either. I certainly wouldn't want to be put in that situation by the mother. The situation isn't fair for anyone involved.

The OP rented to the mom on what sounded like conditions (whether they are legal or not is another subject) and mom agreed to them. There aren't many alternatives to getting out of the current situation. Frankly speaking the chance of an agency coming through with some sort of help is slim to none with the way things are funded these days. If the status quo is not acceptable, then the options are either to find a way to help her or give her notice.

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This message was self-deleted by its author [View all] mopinko Jun 2014 OP

Those kids are so lucky to have you looking out for them. CaliforniaPeggy Jun 2014 #1

i am quite attached to them mopinko Jun 2014 #3

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #90

creepy! you rented the home, 'because of the 5 year old.' Sunlei Jun 2014 #102

Edited... I can see emotions are running high in this thread. ScreamingMeemie Jun 2014 #355

yeah. with a family apartment, mopinko Jun 2014 #394

sure you have 'rights' as a landlord & who you lease to have rights also. Not sure where you live, Sunlei Jun 2014 #434

my alderman wrote the ordinance mopinko Jun 2014 #494

are you kidding? read it again. she's trying to make them foster kids. CreekDog Jun 2014 #44

I agree with you me b zola Jun 2014 #51

I also agree Duppers Jun 2014 #231

It is totally wrong. edgineered Jun 2014 #72

Sounds like the landlord can afford to help with no strings attached. bobGandolf Jun 2014 #438

+1 This is one of the most cruel threads I have ever read on DU. Maybe on the internet. The op is Ed Suspicious Jun 2014 #464

With due respect, the mother sounds overwhelmed. Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #64

its not a few hours. mopinko Jun 2014 #207

a ten year old is there, and it's not enough for you? kids must hang out with you why? bettyellen Jun 2014 #301

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #329

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #334

WOW- thanks!! What in the world did they say!! bettyellen Jun 2014 #380

someone who disagreed with you JI7 Jun 2014 #396

WOW, someone blew their first hidden post on little old me! I have been popular lately- thanks bettyellen Jun 2014 #400

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #214

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #465

You're doing the right thing to protect those kids, but it's hard. Hekate Jun 2014 #2

its really not fair. mopinko Jun 2014 #4

I hope they are able to hook this mom up with some help instead LuvNewcastle Jun 2014 #5

+1 million Louisiana1976 Jun 2014 #187

that is my expectation mopinko Jun 2014 #208

well roommate told me got me when she left this morning, mopinko Jun 2014 #6

She is working at night and she needs to sleep and that cheeses you? boston bean Jun 2014 #7

no no no. mopinko Jun 2014 #16

So, you call the people that will take her children away. boston bean Jun 2014 #20

see this reply mopinko Jun 2014 #202

Maybe she's too tired and drained to do what she needs to with these things. polly7 Jun 2014 #23

They're more likely to just take her kids from her. The kids would probably rather be pnwmom Jun 2014 #27

yep 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #33

Well, everybody's entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. Shrike47 Jun 2014 #222

not direct pay incentives 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #253

not happening mopinko Jun 2014 #224

watch and you will see it happen 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #272

listen, i did check out what the consequences here COULD be. mopinko Jun 2014 #442

you obviously have no exprience or knowledge about cps 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #447

i know MY cps mopinko Jun 2014 #469

yeah, well let us know how that works out for you 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #470

oh, at this point i guess i have to. mopinko Jun 2014 #473

yeah, I'm sure that Chicago cps is easier going than my 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #534

its not just when she sleeps, mopinko Jun 2014 #216

A 10 year old and a 5 year old home alone all night is not safe. Period. DeadLetterOffice Jun 2014 #526

you have to give her credit for not letting her kid hang out with you CreekDog Jun 2014 #46

No. No. I can't do it. But I have to..... NCTraveler Jun 2014 #48

I know it pains you, and I understand CreekDog Jun 2014 #49

We are actually in agreement. nilesobek Jun 2014 #453

oh they will shake some shit loose for her alright 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #83

That is not what cops do BainsBane Jun 2014 #119

no, i called at the wrong moment when someone was there. mopinko Jun 2014 #232

you called the cops hoping the kids were alone and figured the cops would what? uppityperson Jun 2014 #270

yeah, you dont seem to know the dif between hoped and knew. mopinko Jun 2014 #399

Here you said you called a second time BainsBane Jun 2014 #289

no. i called again because the roommate told me she would be leaving. mopinko Jun 2014 #393

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #462

you are 180� incorrect. mopinko Jun 2014 #475

What kind of "roommate" is never there? pnwmom Jun 2014 #310

one that works nights too. mopinko Jun 2014 #391

You said she was leaving at 6 am. That's not a night job. pnwmom Jun 2014 #398

what part of almost every night are you missing? mopinko Jun 2014 #404

How come you didn't mention in the OP that there was a 10 year old there, too? pnwmom Jun 2014 #406

well, predicting what nits will get picked here is impossible to predict. mopinko Jun 2014 #443

But there is a huge difference between a 5 and a 2 year old, and a 10 and a 5 year old. pnwmom Jun 2014 #451

this 10 yo is a timid and gentle boy. mopinko Jun 2014 #476

Have you thought about giving the older boy a prepaid cell phone, pnwmom Jun 2014 #506

coz a ten year old doesn't sound so pathetic and helpless 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #536

Here's the thing. Mom is at home. She might be sleeping but they Autumn Jun 2014 #19

+1000 uppityperson Jun 2014 #54

Bingo WolverineDG Jun 2014 #91

please read updated op. mopinko Jun 2014 #271

Edit: I see the other kid is 10 WolverineDG Jun 2014 #283

all night long? mopinko Jun 2014 #315

i'm not talking about naps. mopinko Jun 2014 #221

no, she is gone all night mopinko Jun 2014 #225

How will the kids "be alone when she is home"? Parents who work night shift need to sleep uppityperson Jun 2014 #53

no, she is gone all night, then sleeps all morning. mopinko Jun 2014 #226

Yeah, how dare a working mother think she is entitled to sleep? WolverineDG Jun 2014 #89

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #129

+1 n/t Doremus Jun 2014 #203

SMH Mr Dixon Jun 2014 #8

there is no way this gets foster care. i had no fear of that. mopinko Jun 2014 #17

If she ends up with a black mark on the record for this, it might backfire with Section 8. pnwmom Jun 2014 #28

About Sec.8 waiting lists and code requirements Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #36

the unit is basically compliant. mopinko Jun 2014 #219

Calling the police on a parent for child neglect and you had no fear of it getting to foster care? uppityperson Jun 2014 #56

I can't fathom someone not realizing that the kids could be removed .... ? etherealtruth Jun 2014 #173

srsly, yes. i know what the system here is like. mopinko Jun 2014 #223

You really want this mother to get a visit from CPS? Sissyk Jun 2014 #239

But that was because the roommate was there. You said they were often left all night pnwmom Jun 2014 #267

the just wouldnt. the cops told me as much. mopinko Jun 2014 #294

u saidcops were out front talking to dfs 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #292

cpd=chicago police department dcfs=dept of children and family services. mopinko Jun 2014 #297

then what is this 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #345

all i edited is in bold. mopinko Jun 2014 #405

read the edited versions for the whole thing 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #449

You didn't give her the benefit of the doubt. Why should the system? Brickbat Jun 2014 #58

i did give the the doubt, and tried to hook her up with help. mopinko Jun 2014 #233

Calling the cops doesn't really seem to be giving the benefit of the doubt. Brickbat Jun 2014 #243

i tried everything else. mopinko Jun 2014 #402

Don't be so sure. moriah Jun 2014 #63

i did all that and more. mopinko Jun 2014 #445

"chicago requires landlord to pay attention to what is going on in their units" Cal Carpenter Jun 2014 #500

in pa where I live I believe it's called TorchTheWitch Jun 2014 #517

Section 8 is a two year wait in most circumstances yeoman6987 Jun 2014 #77

the wait is interminable in chicago mopinko Jun 2014 #317

This message was self-deleted by its author Cal Carpenter Jun 2014 #87

What is so ridiculous about CHA code? I read the inspection checklist. Seems reasonable. PeaceNikki Jun 2014 #103

The self-inspection checklist is based on HUD's Housing Quality Standards form Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #174

its really not so much the code. i have no problem fixing things. mopinko Jun 2014 #237

so they missed 1 appointment and you missed 2 appointments, but it's all their fault magical thyme Jun 2014 #440

no, they blew one, then we missed one. mopinko Jun 2014 #480

Then what was the point of notifying the police? BainsBane Jun 2014 #108

the point was exactly to work the system for those boys mopinko Jun 2014 #229

Now you don't like the school she sends her kids to? BainsBane Jun 2014 #234

Elsewhere she is upset that the 5 yr old isn't in preschool. Odd uppityperson Jun 2014 #250

yeah, he belongs in preschool. mopinko Jun 2014 #255

You do know preschool is optional, don't you? Again, it can be frustrating but reporting him for not uppityperson Jun 2014 #261

none of that is your concern BainsBane Jun 2014 #280

^^This times a zillion Cal Carpenter Jun 2014 #296

Sounds like someone has boundary issues. nt laundry_queen Jun 2014 #341

i warned them when they moved in that i watch what goes on in my building. mopinko Jun 2014 #379

feudalism was abolished centuries ago. BainsBane Jun 2014 #418

actually quite untrue mopinko Jun 2014 #479

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #468

"he used to go" yet you also say "he is in a public school program". Which is it? uppityperson Jun 2014 #417

I thought you said the 5 yr old isn't in school, that was a complaint of yours. uppityperson Jun 2014 #249

he is in a public school program for a couple hours in the morning. mopinko Jun 2014 #314

It's summer, so the 10 year old is there to play with. pnwmom Jun 2014 #403

all night long. all alone. not even a phone. mopinko Jun 2014 #407

You are right, the kids should have a phone. I would have bought them a cheap one pnwmom Jun 2014 #410

Criticizing for turning down an "offer" makes it seem less of an "offer" and more of a demand. uppityperson Jun 2014 #416

well, when you try to help someone, and they dont take it, mopinko Jun 2014 #486

Who the hell are you to decide liberalhistorian Jun 2014 #360

i didnt decide. i brought in those whose job it is to decide. mopinko Jun 2014 #383

It isn't about hism spending time with you, just about being outside spending time with you? uppityperson Jun 2014 #419

no, i am reporting them because they are not safe. mopinko Jun 2014 #499

How old is the other kid? You said one was 5. morningfog Jun 2014 #9

I agree. Not sure how this could be arranged but maybe rewrite her lease so that it requires a MillennialDem Jun 2014 #10

you can't treat someone different because they have children CreekDog Jun 2014 #71

I'm not a lawyer, but I don't know that that rises to the level of discrimination - but I still MillennialDem Jun 2014 #236

i did tell her. i told her flat out that i was going to call. mopinko Jun 2014 #230

you won't evict her, but look down on her for driving her kids to a school that isn't right there, uppityperson Jun 2014 #252

Be proud when they take the kids away. Shes not a good mom anyway right ? NM_Birder Jun 2014 #11

"i have tried to hook her up with some help, but she is pretty, well, not working it." Brickbat Jun 2014 #12

i think it loosely translates into La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #41

"I gave her a list of agencies that can help, and I can't believe she hasn't changed her lifestyle" Brickbat Jun 2014 #57

yeah, its hella easy to judge poor single mothers, because truly they do not have the resouces La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #61

And with all the studies that have come out regarding the effects of stress and swing-shift work on Brickbat Jun 2014 #67

so, the poor should not have kids at all-because they won't be catapulted into the middle class? bettyellen Jun 2014 #257

Which I said exactly nowhere. Brickbat Jun 2014 #302

Sorry if I misunderstood. I have seen it suggested here, that people who are not rock solid bettyellen Jun 2014 #304

No apology necessary -- you're right, a lot of society seems to think that being poor means you're Brickbat Jun 2014 #365

Infuriating is right! bettyellen Jun 2014 #375

The poor do have kids. I think the implication, not made by Brickbat, but by the people who I think Ed Suspicious Jun 2014 #455

i know this issue inside and out. mopinko Jun 2014 #265

Well said. And even more importantly, children are often not a choice like a pet who can be pawned Ed Suspicious Jun 2014 #454

means i call my alderman and get some info on money to get her gas back on. mopinko Jun 2014 #259

One child is five, how old is the other? Where is he while the Autumn Jun 2014 #13

A 10 year old is there, too. n/t pnwmom Jun 2014 #308

he is at school mopinko Jun 2014 #389

Why not lower the rent so she can get help? nt Dreamer Tatum Jun 2014 #14

you called the cops because they were alone for 1 hour? riverwalker Jun 2014 #15

Fail Boom Sound 416 Jun 2014 #139

no i didnt and yes i did. mopinko Jun 2014 #260

I always think of the 'it takes a village' quote when I see things like this. polly7 Jun 2014 #18

its only a 2flat. mopinko Jun 2014 #376

I assume her largest expense is rent, paid to you. Bluenorthwest Jun 2014 #21

yeah, to the bank, to the tax man, to the hardware store, mopinko Jun 2014 #395

You are quite the well intentioned busybody already stretched thin, but maybe you could find it in Ed Suspicious Jun 2014 #456

You take her money, then complain she does not have enough. Bluenorthwest Jun 2014 #502

How old is her other child? NCTraveler Jun 2014 #22

In what way is she 'not a good mom' Bettie Jun 2014 #24

Well, if the mother won't let her kids "hang" with her/him boston bean Jun 2014 #25

yeah, I picked up on that too. magical thyme Jun 2014 #45

Yeah, I'm glad it wasn't just me creeped out by that. Puzzledtraveller Jun 2014 #358

I agree. polly7 Jun 2014 #32

I think it's because she won't cook Ilsa Jun 2014 #186

i have a business to run, but have invited the child many times. mopinko Jun 2014 #316

How about reducing the rent the amount a babysitter would cost? Egnever Jun 2014 #359

how about i just sink my old age to take care of someone else's children. mopinko Jun 2014 #372

So then telling their mother that the kids come first was a lie in order to get the coveted ScreamingMeemie Jun 2014 #381

If she loves them and they know it, I'm not sure they'll be better off in the system. pnwmom Jun 2014 #26

ugh bigtree Jun 2014 #29

+1 MadrasT Jun 2014 #30

Sorry to have to say this but... grattsl Jun 2014 #31

Even if the kids are removed Boom Sound 416 Jun 2014 #141

smooth CreekDog Jun 2014 #153

Why are we supposed to believe in the system? BainsBane Jun 2014 #156

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #176

You think abuse is funny? wtf? uppityperson Jun 2014 #178

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #180

Does it always not work out? treestar Jun 2014 #342

Children are not removed "forever" from homes? huh uppityperson Jun 2014 #171

No we're not supposed to 'believe in the system'. We are supposed to have compassion sabrina 1 Jun 2014 #235

Damn Sabrina you are spot on today! bravenak Jun 2014 #351

Omg that just turned my stomach bravenak. A four year old! sabrina 1 Jun 2014 #484

They gave the child a settlement. bravenak Jun 2014 #503

Congratulations. You just made things much, much worse. DesMoinesDem Jun 2014 #34

She has a crappy (literally) job, 2 kids and no man, RENT PLUS UTILITIES, and doesn't want her kid WinkyDink Jun 2014 #35

I find it interesting that she has been asked the age of the second child Autumn Jun 2014 #37

The person has responded to a couple of posts AFTER that question was asked. NCTraveler Jun 2014 #40

Earlier, she said he was 10, if i'm not misaken. juajen Jun 2014 #335

What a terrible mom, working a job to try and support her children by herself might I add. dilby Jun 2014 #60

do you really think these kids will be better off in foster care? La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #38

she invites me to their parties. he calls me grandma. mopinko Jun 2014 #282

You are NOT their Grandma, and B2G Jun 2014 #298

did you guys have a fallout? because people accept help unless the help came with too many strings La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #309

well we are fell out now, i guess. mopinko Jun 2014 #313

You're not grandma BainsBane Jun 2014 #327

not even. they made me the grandma. mopinko Jun 2014 #370

I am not feeling any sort of "affection" past or present from you toward anyone but the ScreamingMeemie Jun 2014 #378

Do you have any grandkids of your own? snooper2 Jun 2014 #386

They clearly did NOT make you Grandma BainsBane Jun 2014 #420

go look in the mirror. a long hard look. you clearly have no idea how you're coming off cali Jun 2014 #333

I know right. My creep senses are tingling Mrdrboi Jun 2014 #428

You are a fucking landlord Cal Carpenter Jun 2014 #338

+1 Ed Suspicious Jun 2014 #467

You mean she won't take liberalhistorian Jun 2014 #362

You're not the grandma. tammywammy Jun 2014 #363

she made me the grandma. mopinko Jun 2014 #477

I think she did that because she thought you had a heart and because you hold all arthritisR_US Jun 2014 #514

"i think she is a bad mom for keeping a kid in a dark, cold apartment when they could be helping..." uppityperson Jun 2014 #421

no, i think she is a bad mom for refusing an offer of help that would have been mopinko Jun 2014 #493

There is a difference between an "offer" and a "demand". uppityperson Jun 2014 #501

Maybe the bouncy boy has allergies or some other medical condition? MADem Jun 2014 #508

Well.. That was nosy... Antler Jun 2014 #39

I can't imagine why she wouldn't let her kids stay with you. mattclearing Jun 2014 #42

a stellar landlord with an apartment that is not up to code CreekDog Jun 2014 #55

+1 mitchtv Jun 2014 #98

More like slumlord from the sound of it. Hassin Bin Sober Jun 2014 #110

I agree Rhinodawg Jun 2014 #92

The kids might not have been alone though treestar Jun 2014 #346

in many perts of the world 10 year olds work full time jobs. Kali Jun 2014 #361

That is bad but here each US state will have a treestar Jun 2014 #482

I don't think what you did was helpful to this family cali Jun 2014 #43

well, first your assumptions are bassakwards, but mopinko Jun 2014 #498

as a home health aid she may not have a lot of choice about working graveyard magical thyme Jun 2014 #47

its the no hot water for bathing. and yes, they are in the middle of my job. mopinko Jun 2014 #269

Small children don't need a lot of hot water--she can heat some up on the stove and add it to a bath MADem Jun 2014 #509

I don't see how this helped in the long run.... seems like it'll hurt more than anything uponit7771 Jun 2014 #50

Just added a little misery to the world phil89 Jun 2014 #52

There are other sources to call besides the police dem in texas Jun 2014 #59

+1000. nt. polly7 Jun 2014 #65

no, i dont want her to move out. mopinko Jun 2014 #401

You did the right thing. JVS Jun 2014 #62

The OP is the property owner. The OP essentially shut off the utilities by not giving a break on WinkyDink Jun 2014 #193

oh ffs. mopinko Jun 2014 #290

Why not give her a break on rent so she can pay a sitter until things pick up? arcane1 Jun 2014 #66

Why are you stalking your tenant? LeftyMom Jun 2014 #68

Very creepy. n/t tammywammy Jun 2014 #80

and complaining that the shades are down CreekDog Jun 2014 #93

I have to agree with the others that you probably made things worse. How old is the other child? PeaceNikki Jun 2014 #69

The OP is refusing to answer that question CreekDog Jun 2014 #74

The OP seems to have vanished altogether. morningfog Jun 2014 #213

10 years old - answered many times. 840high Jun 2014 #368

Kicking this Tree-Hugger Jun 2014 #70

So I am going to assume the other child is between 9-13. dilby Jun 2014 #73

10 yrs old 840high Jun 2014 #369

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #75

this. nt La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #79

+1 nt NCTraveler Jun 2014 #84

Hey, you! PeaceNikki Jun 2014 #86

HOWDY!!! Shakespeare Jun 2014 #88

you and CreekDog have been very eloquent here... ProdigalJunkMail Jun 2014 #96

+1 Rhinodawg Jun 2014 #97

The OP is incredible to say the least yeoman6987 Jun 2014 #112

This. Chellee Jun 2014 #118

I definitely would've tried to work it out with her first before calling authorities. Lex Jun 2014 #76

Where are the kids' fathers? Are they contributing any money to the family? raccoon Jun 2014 #78

The OP is the landlord, not a social worker. The only time any of that was their business LeftyMom Jun 2014 #81

I'm sure HUD would be interested in this creepy landlord - myrna minx Jun 2014 #481

As only you have first hand knowledge of the situation, I can't say if you did right or not Kaleva Jun 2014 #82

Whatever woes we think we have, single moms have it a 1000 times worse... countryjake Jun 2014 #85

i was a single mom for 10 years. mopinko Jun 2014 #286

I am going to say this different from all of y'all d_r Jun 2014 #94

actually, the cops and the system fail the poor terribly. so we have to be careful when we involve La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #99

we can't. d_r Jun 2014 #105

yes, we can. we can say "am i just being judgmental because i dont like that the mother doesn't La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #115

well I think that d_r Jun 2014 #117

abuse or neglect aren't that subjective. if you gather 10 people together, you should get 80% La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #125

If you do d_r Jun 2014 #149

no, i would rather not stigmatize poverty and pretend that the alternative for these kids is awesome La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #157

Yes, but there is a difference d_r Jun 2014 #160

yes, which means you need to use some level of judgment. La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #167

If someone reads d_r Jun 2014 #322

You're assuming that the police and social services never make the situation worse. pnwmom Jun 2014 #285

actually, i know police and social services here. mopinko Jun 2014 #318

So would I. 840high Jun 2014 #382

You should do SOMETHING but that something doesn't necessarily require pnwmom Jun 2014 #281

my concern is d_r Jun 2014 #321

ftr, i worked my little tail off to elect a better "system" mopinko Jun 2014 #367

+1 woo me with science Jun 2014 #158

Yes, this. CreekDog Jun 2014 #254

the op has NOT presented anything close to convincing me that the mother is neglectful cali Jun 2014 #101

again d_r Jun 2014 #107

sorry, I worked in social services for years cali Jun 2014 #120

I agree d_r Jun 2014 #131

I agree, in one of her responses in this thread she stated that she had yet to see arthritisR_US Jun 2014 #515

She called the cops not once but twice BainsBane Jun 2014 #127

If we have a STRONG suspicion, sure. We call the state child welfare agency. Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #104

Not a "strong" suspicion d_r Jun 2014 #109

Here, let me repeat myself since you replied while I was editing. Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #113

in my state d_r Jun 2014 #116

There is no moral obligation to drop a dime based on a small suspicion Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #121

it is not up to each citizen d_r Jun 2014 #130

..."wound, injury,disability, physical or mental condition..."=standard not met here. Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #132

you are reading it in the most conservative way d_r Jun 2014 #140

No, I 'm not the one reading it too conservatively. Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #159

honestly, I am trying not d_r Jun 2014 #163

Could you please just STOP boston bean Jun 2014 #133

Again d_r Jun 2014 #145

Then leave it alone. People here are discussing this in terms of this OP. boston bean Jun 2014 #147

I'm not making up a scenario d_r Jun 2014 #150

What happened here, obviously happens and is NOT in the best interests of the child. boston bean Jun 2014 #151

as i have explained elsewhere, yes it is a personal thing. mopinko Jun 2014 #478

You don't call the cops and DCFS for personal reasons. nt boston bean Jun 2014 #487

bad idea cali Jun 2014 #123

I disagree that it is a bad idea d_r Jun 2014 #134

calling cops and DCFS based on personal grievances, is ALWAYS wrong and not in the childs boston bean Jun 2014 #135

It's also traumatic for the child Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #137

I agree 100%. boston bean Jun 2014 #146

I'm sorry to hit that trigger for you d_r Jun 2014 #152

+1 redqueen Jun 2014 #166

Boston Bean d_r Jun 2014 #142

Mere suspicion isn't enough. We don't all need to be Gladys Kravitts. pnwmom Jun 2014 #279

there was nothing to even indicate why there would be suspicious of Abuse JI7 Jun 2014 #323

+1 I mean how long are we to let her leave them alone treestar Jun 2014 #344

till something happens apparently. mopinko Jun 2014 #374

I'd rather help than call the pigs TransitJohn Jun 2014 #424

+10^6 n/t lumberjack_jeff Jun 2014 #504

So you tried to help this working Mom by calling the cops on her. Why not cut her rent, landlord? TeamPooka Jun 2014 #95

I hope she can afford to move away without you keeping her deposit. Sunlei Jun 2014 #100

Can't even imagine what it's like to raise two small children alone LittleBlue Jun 2014 #106

Many others have said what I'd like to. So I'll just add that, as a working class single mom, redqueen Jun 2014 #111

No joke. n/t Gormy Cuss Jun 2014 #114

+1000 cali Jun 2014 #124

For you Capt. Obvious Jun 2014 #122

plus, she is just not a good mom. i try to get her to let the little one hang out with me, and she j CBGLuthier Jun 2014 #126

Some parents have an irrational dislike of leaving their kids alone with adults they don't know well arcane1 Jun 2014 #138

The minute I read this my blood pressure went through the roof. boston bean Jun 2014 #128

I don't always agree with boston bean, Codeine Jun 2014 #154

glad to agree on this! boston bean Jun 2014 #343

Absolutely Dorian Gray Jun 2014 #164

+1 joshcryer Jun 2014 #241

Is this your idea of "It takes a village"? Generic Other Jun 2014 #136

You did the right thing. Nt Boom Sound 416 Jun 2014 #143

Not even close. nt Lex Jun 2014 #192

I hope this is fake because this is the most disturbing and shameful thing I've read today kcr Jun 2014 #144

I keep coming back to this and thinking, this must be some kind of epic trolling. Because WTF? Brickbat Jun 2014 #161

My mother was in this situation with me as a child, 30 years ago. It's not ideal, but I cannot even AzDar Jun 2014 #148

Wake me if Mopinko ever shows back up B2G Jun 2014 #155

I would be legally obligated to call CPS Nevernose Jun 2014 #162

He's not alone, he's with his brother B2G Jun 2014 #168

If the brother was old enough to be watching him Nevernose Jun 2014 #177

And if he wasn't B2G Jun 2014 #179

all night, every night. without even a phone. mopinko Jun 2014 #371

How do you know they are alone every night? BainsBane Jun 2014 #425

no, she works the graveyard too. she is the one who came to me mopinko Jun 2014 #497

I hope you take greater care in making that decision than you did here kcr Jun 2014 #169

I would have called CPS MUCH sooner Nevernose Jun 2014 #183

"temporary custody"? Therein lies the issue. AND you missed the 5 yr old was NOT alone. uppityperson Jun 2014 #184

If a child is being neglected, of course kcr Jun 2014 #189

"Could get on her feet and get responsible" BainsBane Jun 2014 #248

I know people who have called CPS on someone just to get them in trouble. panader0 Jun 2014 #332

yes, I call this trailer trash revenge 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #535

Mandated reporter? moriah Jun 2014 #397

I'm a teacher, a CASA, a foster parent and Nevernose Jun 2014 #415

Please leave the family alone. ZombieHorde Jun 2014 #165

This is a difficult situation, but I have to say Blue_In_AK Jun 2014 #170

Arrested for stalking? nt. NCTraveler Jun 2014 #172

Why not help her out rather call the cops? Rhinodawg Jun 2014 #175

That was my mom. liberalmuse Jun 2014 #181

Your tenant sounds like the woman that recently died in jail over debts. tenderfoot Jun 2014 #182

your problem is you are far too involved and way to close to a situation that you cannot control. Wash. state Desk Jet Jun 2014 #185

+1! BuelahWitch Jun 2014 #190

So the 5-year-old is "the little one" - how old is the older one? gollygee Jun 2014 #188

it has been asked and ignored by mopinko... n/t ProdigalJunkMail Jun 2014 #197

Hey look at me, the great concerned person I am... coyote Jun 2014 #191

my my my. ok, i did not hit and run, i had to get some sleep. mopinko Jun 2014 #194

How does not taking your help amount to being a bad mother? BainsBane Jun 2014 #195

How old is the other kid there? uppityperson Jun 2014 #196

they are 5 & 10 mopinko Jun 2014 #200

So the 5 year old is home with the 10 yr old while the mom sleeps? uppityperson Jun 2014 #204

Yeah, something here don't pass the smell test imo. Rex Jun 2014 #227

I'd like to know how she knows what's on the TV if the blinds are closed. LeftyMom Jun 2014 #354

no, they are alone all night. mopinko Jun 2014 #242

You are upset that a mom won't send her child to preschool? or borrow your books? uppityperson Jun 2014 #244

I babysat for the neighbor kids when I was 10 BainsBane Jun 2014 #211

the more I think about the op, the more disturbed I am by it cali Jun 2014 #198

. Brickbat Jun 2014 #209

I'm having a hard time believing the veracity of the OP. Rex Jun 2014 #217

That was the first thing I saw--"narced" panader0 Jun 2014 #336

now I HAVE TRIED TO HELP THIS WOMAN. REPEATEDLY. mopinko Jun 2014 #199

This message was self-deleted by its author uppityperson Jun 2014 #201

ANSWER THE QUESTION: How old is the older boy? cali Jun 2014 #205

5 and 10 and indeed, there was not "zero chance". uppityperson Jun 2014 #210

thanks. cali Jun 2014 #215

no, i am telling you. i checked it out before hand, and confirmed it with the cops. mopinko Jun 2014 #463

OK...Did the cops investigate?...is there a case worker ? Rhinodawg Jun 2014 #212

It's June BainsBane Jun 2014 #218

and why use the extreme measure of calling the cops? cali Jun 2014 #220

it was cold. it has been cold here. mopinko Jun 2014 #240

You seem to be contradicting yourself now, either she doesn't allow her son to be around Rex Jun 2014 #256

Please tell us then exactly what Sissyk Jun 2014 #258

As landlord, what is your obligation to make sure they had heat? uppityperson Jun 2014 #263

It seems like you're mainly upset gollygee Jun 2014 #266

how do you know the boy loves you if she doesn't let him around you ? JI7 Jun 2014 #300

I am "going with" your intentions were good and that you genuinely care etherealtruth Jun 2014 #238

well you put a little light on the subject, Wash. state Desk Jet Jun 2014 #245

i am sure that people thought there would be ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ProdigalJunkMail Jun 2014 #251

She is not obligated to accept your help in order to be a 'good mother' laundry_queen Jun 2014 #268

+++++++++++++++ uppityperson Jun 2014 #276

Message auto-removed Name removed Jun 2014 #519

I have yet to see this months rent. 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #275

She's trying to keep him away from you because you creep her out. She needs the rent money to move, LeftyMom Jun 2014 #295

" i try to get her to let the little one hang out with me, and she just wont let him. " RetroLounge Jun 2014 #206

really absurd, man, really absurd. mopinko Jun 2014 #247

I bet she does call you mother 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #262

She calls you 'mother', yet won't let you watch her child? B2G Jun 2014 #284

When I volunteered with street kids, many of them were "veterans" of foster care Lydia Leftcoast Jun 2014 #228

no, i dont have a choice. mopinko Jun 2014 #373

There is nothing wrong with your expecting rent from her or any tenant. BainsBane Jun 2014 #426

I hope they will be able to get away from you very soon. Skeeter Barnes Jun 2014 #246

This pile-on is extremely ugly pintobean Jun 2014 #264

A lot of people strongly disagree and that makes Du suck? uppityperson Jun 2014 #273

Standard reply from that one, like grass is green etc.. Rex Jun 2014 #278

I have no problem with the disagreement. pintobean Jun 2014 #299

Yeah! Why are people uncivil to the lady that called the cops on a poor, single mom? CreekDog Jun 2014 #331

Message auto-removed Name removed Jun 2014 #521

You should probably read the OP, before giving your standard reply. nt. Rex Jun 2014 #274

on the wrong side as usual CreekDog Jun 2014 #277

It's not a pile on. The OP asked for this by posting this thread Cal Carpenter Jun 2014 #303

if you do something douchey and then post on DU, people will call you out on it La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2014 #311

It's not a pile on. When you read the OP and then Autumn Jun 2014 #450

you seem resentful that she wont allow her kids to hang out with you JI7 Jun 2014 #287

and that the kids don't go to the school she thinks they should BainsBane Jun 2014 #291

OP says she is a month behind in the rent. boston bean Jun 2014 #293

i saw that and it seems like that may be a big part of it JI7 Jun 2014 #305

the mother leaves them alone all night at least 3-4 nights. mopinko Jun 2014 #312

you seem to be coming to the conclusion that she is poor CreekDog Jun 2014 #320

so why don't you help by paying her Gas Bill ? JI7 Jun 2014 #326

Not damned if you do, damned if you don't BainsBane Jun 2014 #350

In the garden with you at night time when she is working? snooper2 Jun 2014 #390

She thinks the kid should be with her BainsBane Jun 2014 #422

if you look up thread in one of the first replies JI7 Jun 2014 #427

The older child is ten?!? That's old enough to watch a sibling. Mind your own business. LeftyMom Jun 2014 #288

Depends on state law treestar Jun 2014 #347

That's not a legal minimum, it's the age under which DCFS will even take a complaint. LeftyMom Jun 2014 #352

In South Carolina, 12 and under cannot be left alone overnight. Kaleva Jun 2014 #356

OK thanks for that treestar Jun 2014 #483

how much is her Rent ? JI7 Jun 2014 #306

cheap for the space and mopinko Jun 2014 #384

You showed in your OP that you're not a good judge of whether the children are alone or not. pnwmom Jun 2014 #307

In Florida, it used to be that things had to be really horrible for kids to be removed steve2470 Jun 2014 #319

Here where I live, an 8 year old girl found her mom od'd on the floor Kaleva Jun 2014 #325

That is in line with my experience steve2470 Jun 2014 #328

Agree, there is too much assumption that Child Protective Services treestar Jun 2014 #348

CPS can do a lot of good if people work with them steve2470 Jun 2014 #349

Yes, maybe they can help the mother find options treestar Jun 2014 #490

You have a lot more confidence in your observations than is warranted CreekDog Jun 2014 #324

Are you interested in taking custody of one or both kids? LexVegas Jun 2014 #330

seems like it's just the 5 year old she wants to hang out with JI7 Jun 2014 #337

Tough call, mo elehhhhna Jun 2014 #339

what man? Mo is a a woman. 840high Jun 2014 #377

I'm glad you weren't my landlord Jamastiene Jun 2014 #340

Less pinko. GeorgeGist Jun 2014 #353

Well said! bettyellen Jun 2014 #387

whu? Puzzledtraveller Jun 2014 #357

Is this a Free Republic joke? U4ikLefty Jun 2014 #364

I'm not sure how quickly boys mature but ecstatic Jun 2014 #366

the 10yo, i would be fine. mopinko Jun 2014 #388

But at night the 10 year old was there with the younger boy. pnwmom Jun 2014 #408

When I was 10, I watched my 4 year old sister all the time... Humanist_Activist Jun 2014 #412

i can't believe how you can be so clueless , are you even reading the responses ? JI7 Jun 2014 #413

This is by far the creepiest and wrong post I have seen in a long time Whoa_Nelly Jun 2014 #385

+1 Ptah Jun 2014 #414

Please, do everyone a favor and back off. TDale313 Jun 2014 #392

What is your goal here? To make the mother unemployed? At least then she will be around her... Humanist_Activist Jun 2014 #409

first of all, this 2 flat is the mainstay of my retirement mopinko Jun 2014 #441

The Landlord betsuni Jun 2014 #411

+1 bravenak Jun 2014 #520

It sounds like something out of a horror movie. Jamastiene Jun 2014 #530

Wow, that's pretty fucked up behavior TransitJohn Jun 2014 #423

Dear OP, if you wanted to help why didn't you pay for her Gas Bill ? JI7 Jun 2014 #429

Again, I want to know how you know what goes on in that house when the shades are drawn? LeftyMom Jun 2014 #430

There's few things in life I detest more than a nosy landlord. LAGC Jun 2014 #436

Mopinko, I'm so sorry for you getting all this judgmental flack Hekate Jun 2014 #431

Is this you OP? ForgoTheConsequence Jun 2014 #432

I'm getting one of my sick headaches... betsuni Jun 2014 #433

pretty much, yeah. mopinko Jun 2014 #492

A difficult situation davidpdx Jun 2014 #435

Think of the kids safety is priority #1 Omaha Steve Jun 2014 #437

you edited the OP and thanks you bolded what was edited and mentioned your 'pocket farm' Sunlei Jun 2014 #439

i am very careful who is around my animals. mopinko Jun 2014 #460

Was she black? dilby Jun 2014 #444

Those poor kids having to live with the fear of being taken away from their mother! boston bean Jun 2014 #446

That's what this is about. Skeeter Barnes Jun 2014 #457

nope, i could evict her outright. mopinko Jun 2014 #491

She gonna stay there now with you doing this to her? boston bean Jun 2014 #495

are you calling me a racist? mopinko Jun 2014 #471

well, are they black? n/t 2pooped2pop Jun 2014 #474

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #496

They are black...from Nigeria B2G Jun 2014 #516

How utterly horrible. frustrated_lefty Jun 2014 #448

Since this is now on record with child services can your property now be Autumn Jun 2014 #452

I'll try to moderate my response to you. 99Forever Jun 2014 #458

You are receiving a lot of flack Harmony Blue Jun 2014 #459

ty. wish i could say i was shocked, mopinko Jun 2014 #472

You did the right thing for the kids. That's all that matters. n/t lumberjack_jeff Jun 2014 #461

The Rise of Chicago's 99% Against Rahm Emanuel, "Mayor 1%" Zorra Jun 2014 #466

There are many sad consequences of not having a living wage. When I say many stevenleser Jun 2014 #485

It is absurd, and disgusting, that in 2014 America, mopinko should be faced with a conundrum Zorra Jun 2014 #489

I wish there was someone like you around when I was a kid. Kingofalldems Jun 2014 #488

These kids aren't alone B2G Jun 2014 #505

Indeed. How dare she draw the shades! alphafemale Jun 2014 #511

And we don't know that the roomate really moved out BuelahWitch Jun 2014 #531

I can't believe the level of vitriol in this thread LadyHawkAZ Jun 2014 #507

I'm not going to pile on here. flvegan Jun 2014 #510

How do you know he's not? B2G Jun 2014 #512

You should re-read my response. flvegan Jun 2014 #523

We don't know that he's not. The OP isn't exactly proving to be a reliable source of information. LeftyMom Jun 2014 #513

Note: "more...if possible...appropriate" flvegan Jun 2014 #524

I know. LeftyMom Jun 2014 #525

Message auto-removed Name removed Jun 2014 #518

Mo, You And I Have Been Pals Here For a Long Time, But... ProfessorGAC Jun 2014 #522

Is this a plan to force this family out so you can move your husband into the unit? LeftyMom Jun 2014 #527

Very interesting, the plot thickens betsuni Jun 2014 #528

Thats damning. LexVegas Jun 2014 #529

FFS demmiblue Jun 2014 #532

Holy shit. Jamastiene Jun 2014 #533

I hope everyone tut tutting those who thought the OP was getting unfairly smeared sees this kcr Jun 2014 #537