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laundry_queen

(8,646 posts)

79. I have never heard of that book - do you mind me asking who is the author?

Fri Jul 25, 2014, 01:55 AM

Jul 2014

I've read a ton of parenting books, probably at least a couple dozen, but that was about 10-15 years ago. Then I decided on my parenting style and it's worked well for the most part (I have never spanked). During the upheaval of my life during my divorce, one of my children had a really rough time (she was 7) and started having explosive, violent tantrums (only with me, by the way, she was an angel for everyone else.) I got her in with a really great child psychologist who specialized in play therapy. For the most part, this child is now ok (she's 11) but she is incredibly sensitive and very quick to anger...I think I might like to try this book and see if it has any new insights. My daughter's been out of therapy for 2.5 years now, and is a great kid, never in trouble, honor student etc, but she still backslides now and again. I could use help for those times she regresses.

Thanks in advance.

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Spanking The Gray Matter Out Of Our Kids (Yes, Don't Spank, Please) [View all] HuckleB Jul 2014 OP

Thanks for the post, HuckleB. NaturalHigh Jul 2014 #1

No problem. HuckleB Jul 2014 #3

Except that the p-value for Verbal IQ and Performance IQ is Drahthaardogs Jul 2014 #45

'but we can still hit them with our hands!' in 3, 2, 1... redqueen Jul 2014 #2

Uh oh. HuckleB Jul 2014 #4

yes, even at DU CreekDog Jul 2014 #5

Yikes. HuckleB Jul 2014 #7

This message was self-deleted by its author SixString Jul 2014 #80

Unfortunately, yes. NaturalHigh Jul 2014 #6

And... Luminous Animal Jul 2014 #11

I would've been comparable to Einstein if I'd not been spanked? uppityperson Jul 2014 #8

My folks broke "The Board of Education" on my arse. HuckleB Jul 2014 #14

Thanks for the post. Another piece of evidence to present to the child abusers. Luminous Animal Jul 2014 #9

I'm with you on that! HuckleB Jul 2014 #23

Reccing for exposure... awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #10

Absolutely. JDPriestly Jul 2014 #38

Kids learn to imitate... hlthe2b Jul 2014 #12

It is obvious to most DUers mcar Jul 2014 #13

Oh joy another test of the gullibility whistler162 Jul 2014 #15

What does this even mean? Luminous Animal Jul 2014 #16

Do you think the earth is flat, too? kcr Jul 2014 #26

When my first child was about three months old, a dear friend who had raised a family of five JDPriestly Jul 2014 #39

On this I could not agree more. And it shouldn't be allowed in schools, either. pnwmom Jul 2014 #17

Luckily, it's not allowed in our school district. HuckleB Jul 2014 #18

It isn't in my state, either. But I grew up in a state where it was legal, pnwmom Jul 2014 #74

Alas, now we have to worry about restraints being used without justification. HuckleB Jul 2014 #89

Corporal punishment LWolf Jul 2014 #69

It's still legal in 19 states, mostly in the South. n/t pnwmom Jul 2014 #75

Yep, those were the days... Stellar Jul 2014 #19

What do you mean by "kids seem much worse today...?" HuckleB Jul 2014 #20

I live in Chicago. Stellar Jul 2014 #21

I know it's bad there this year, really bad. HuckleB Jul 2014 #22

LOL...it's been bad here year after year Stellar Jul 2014 #86

The data doesn't seem to show that, however. HuckleB Jul 2014 #90

I retired in 2001. Stellar Jul 2014 #91

And what makes you think bad kids in Chicago aren't spanked? Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #41

I don't think was the point, really. HuckleB Jul 2014 #50

OK, then what was the point? Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #58

I asked for clarification of that, so I'm going to wait to get the full story. HuckleB Jul 2014 #60

I don't know if anybody can answer that question, I think some are maybe.. Stellar Jul 2014 #87

�Spare the rod, spoil the child� -Proverbs 13:24. Need those kids stupid and complacent right? Exultant Democracy Jul 2014 #24

True. That's why adults who were spanked by their parents spank their kids. Louisiana1976 Jul 2014 #31

I don't support corporal punishment, but the CNN article oversimplifies the conclusions RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #25

Hmmm. I go to the actual AAP website and it appears that is wrong. kcr Jul 2014 #29

Thanks for this! RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #32

What are you talking about? kcr Jul 2014 #34

No. Neuroscientists incorrectly citing an AAP position RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #35

Oh, yes kcr Jul 2014 #36

It appears to me that you're focusing on a small part of a big plant. HuckleB Jul 2014 #62

Maybe so, but it mischaracterizes much of the research's conclusions RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #67

I don't see a huge difference. HuckleB Jul 2014 #71

the CNN author's summary reflects how the study selected people for the HCP group fishwax Jul 2014 #73

I agree kcr Jul 2014 #77

It appears that what specifically is wrong? Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #49

The research cited by CNN mistates the AAP's position on spanking RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #53

OK, yeah. I just posted their actual position. But I don't see where that incorrect bit came from. Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #55

Psst! Check post 56! n/t RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #57

The AAP doesn't endorse spanking kcr Jul 2014 #76

OK, but the post you replied to noted a few issues, and you didn't state what it was you were saying Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #78

The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes striking a child for any reason. Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #42

Thank you. See my comments above RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #48

I'm confused about your comments above. I don't know where you got Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #52

The quote about the AAP's policy on spanking came from the original research. RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #56

Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it. Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #59

The same thought occurred to me, but I've been unable to verify it n/t RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #61

This post explains a lot. HuckleB Jul 2014 #64

Exactly. The subthread here seems just bizarre. HuckleB Jul 2014 #63

I was confused, but I think I see now. That bit was from the research cited. Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #66

I didn't mean to trivialize the discussion. RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #72

I appreciate your feedback and thoughts. HuckleB Jul 2014 #95

The problem may be related to old information. HuckleB Jul 2014 #65

Indeed. That sounds like a reasonable hypothesis. RufusTFirefly Jul 2014 #68

Imagine the poor children of Gaza and how much PTSD is affecting their gray matter. Pisces Jul 2014 #27

Same for the children of Israel. JDPriestly Jul 2014 #43

No children in Israel have had their homes bombed or their families killed. THey are lining up lawn Pisces Jul 2014 #54

That explains why my children think they are smarter than I am. JDPriestly Jul 2014 #28

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #40

I can't recommend "The Explosive Child" enough... HuckleB Jul 2014 #51

I have never heard of that book - do you mind me asking who is the author? laundry_queen Jul 2014 #79

Ross Greene. HuckleB Jul 2014 #88

I find it intresting how similar... Lancero Jul 2014 #30

Exactly. In fact one could go so far as to say that people who physically abuse their spouses Louisiana1976 Jul 2014 #33

Once a month? rickyhall Jul 2014 #37

Ouch. HuckleB Jul 2014 #44

Parents with less grey matter...? hvn_nbr_2 Jul 2014 #46

That should be part of any follow-up study, indeed. HuckleB Jul 2014 #47

I don't know about "these studies," LWolf Jul 2014 #70

Now that's a study for a good PhD candidate to get on, ASAP! HuckleB Jul 2014 #94

Interesting laundry_queen Jul 2014 #81

Wow. My Dad smacked us around in his blind rages. Whenever I heard his car pull up to the Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #92

Post removed Post removed Jul 2014 #82

My boys stood in the corner DiverDave Jul 2014 #83

My parents never spanked me. They used a switch. CBGLuthier Jul 2014 #84

Good grief, did it not occur to them that it wasn't working if it had to be Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #93

They were young and unsophisticated CBGLuthier Jul 2014 #96

That is one small consolation in many things... Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #97

If you smack an adult, it is assault, right? Jamastiene Jul 2014 #85