Spanking The Gray Matter Out Of Our Kids (Yes, Don't Spank, Please)

[laundry_queen]

81. Interesting

I've heard similar studies about poverty, violence and so on basically rewiring the child's entire brain so that they are put at a huge disadvantage in today's society.

I was spanked. Not very often because the first time I was spanked it was so traumatic (I was 18 months and remember every detail) that I did everything and anything to avoid getting hit. My dad looked for every excuse TO hit. It was his only 'tool' in his child rearing toolbox.

I have a fairly high IQ. I was bottlefed, spanked, ignored, plunked in front of a tv...everything my parents did was geared towards having a child who should be seen and not heard, and not having a child who would develop into their own person. I wonder what I might have been with a little encouragement and attention.

Interestingly, my mom was NOT spanked. At all. yet she spanked us. My dad had a very abusive upbringing and he thought he was being lenient with us. Compared to his mother, maybe (his dad was not abusive at all, just his mom) but compared to every other kid I knew? We had it the worst.

I decided before I had kids I would not spank them. My now-ex thought I was delusional and was very pro-spanking. I told him we were going to try it my way first and that if he ever found that there should be a reason to spank our kids, then we would revisit the issue. We never had to have that conversation, he's a total convert now (he even stayed converted after our divorce - which was a concern of mine - and states our kids are better behaved than anyone else's kids he knows). I think people who spank are simply too lazy to want to learn another way. And so many people are far more interested in stopping the behavior in the moment to benefit themselves instead of the long term emotional growth that would benefit their children.