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treestar

(82,383 posts)

97. That's about old fashioned, patriarchal idea

Tue Aug 12, 2014, 12:50 PM

Aug 2014

that she does not want responsibility for choosing to have sex, because the patriarchy frowns on it. She really wants to, but wants it to be so she can say she couldn't help it. Exactly. It's not a fantasy women need to have when they are equal.

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Rape play is NOT rape. [View all] darkangel218 Aug 2014 OP

Putting the words "rape" and "play" together is messed up. sufrommich Aug 2014 #1

"I don't care whether it's a "lifestyle" you approve of or not." darkangel218 Aug 2014 #3

"Pretty sick." JTFrog Aug 2014 #9

I understand the difference plenty. darkangel218 Aug 2014 #15

It isn't so much condemnation as it is an honest look at dysfunctional behavior and the psyches KittyWampus Aug 2014 #12

Are you calling BDSM a "dysfunctional behavior"? darkangel218 Aug 2014 #17

it's the behavioral manifestation of imbalance in the psyche. So, yes. KittyWampus Aug 2014 #25

Can you provide peer-reviewed sources and document that your opinion is the prevailing clinical riqster Aug 2014 #62

Imbalance? Based on what objective standard? phil89 Aug 2014 #85

you're making stuff up samsingh Aug 2014 #93

Yes, and heading in the direction of encouraging some to think it's ok. elleng Aug 2014 #84

Ditto, cwydro Aug 2014 #5

How nice of you to be so judgmental of the actions of consenting adults HERVEPA Aug 2014 #24

That's not the end it all argument people think it is treestar Aug 2014 #98

Serious question. How can you judge whether the consent is real HERVEPA Aug 2014 #102

I don't know, but I don't tend to question the veracity of rape victims. boston bean Aug 2014 #117

What???? The subject was "rape play", which is between consenting adults, not "rape" HERVEPA Aug 2014 #121

Russian Crane Operator Fail snooper2 Aug 2014 #2

The word rape has a meaning JaydenD Aug 2014 #4

It behooves her not to understand. Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #6

It's the defined term though Blue_Adept Aug 2014 #11

I would like to see a study of women who were actually raped JaydenD Aug 2014 #36

That's not what they're fantasizing about though Blue_Adept Aug 2014 #38

Then it should be called something other than 'play rape'. That is too offensive. JaydenD Aug 2014 #46

And there is a slow change to that, as I said elsewhere in the thread Blue_Adept Aug 2014 #65

Ravishment would be a much more acceptable word to use. JaydenD Aug 2014 #73

Doubtful Prophet 451 Aug 2014 #72

*trigger warning* to fantasize about ravishment and to play a game Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #60

That's about old fashioned, patriarchal idea treestar Aug 2014 #97

That's it exactly. historylovr Aug 2014 #106

Post removed Post removed Aug 2014 #19

"well respected". LOLZ KittyWampus Aug 2014 #26

That's right, it is not TheSarcastinator Aug 2014 #7

+1 redqueen Aug 2014 #37

Then it is not rape if there is sexual arousement by the one being 'raped'. JaydenD Aug 2014 #41

If all parties want it and consent to it freely, and can stop it if they want, KitSileya Aug 2014 #48

Exactly so, KitSileya JaydenD Aug 2014 #58

If both parties are into it PowerToThePeople Aug 2014 #8

I definitely support someone's right to engage in such "play" if it's consensual. Doesn't mean KittyWampus Aug 2014 #14

Why not? Blue_Adept Aug 2014 #18

how many people have fantasies of suicide? Does that mean such fantasies are "balanced"? KittyWampus Aug 2014 #27

Take a trip down memory lane at what people considered unbalanced over the years Blue_Adept Aug 2014 #31

That's not really an apt comparison. Unvanguard Aug 2014 #34

that's based on the romanticizing of it treestar Aug 2014 #96

Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners. pokerfan Aug 2014 #129

I agree with that PowerToThePeople Aug 2014 #20

Coping mechanism seems like a very good descriptive. I have them, you have them, we all have them KittyWampus Aug 2014 #29

Are you a trained psychological professional? riqster Aug 2014 #67

As long as those methods do not bring undesired harm to others, I am ok with it. Thirties Child Aug 2014 #132

spank me please. PowerToThePeople Aug 2014 #133

Yes feeding rape fantasies - it's not like that could ever have negative consequences el_bryanto Aug 2014 #10

Well, according to our resident experts- these things are contractually agreed upon before starting. KittyWampus Aug 2014 #13

Should be. riqster Aug 2014 #33

Ever hear of a safe word? HERVEPA Aug 2014 #28

Well you should take some comfort in the fact that there are no sex police el_bryanto Aug 2014 #32

Not my problem, but I have a thought. riqster Aug 2014 #55

The idea of participating in a rape fantasy is abhorrent to me. HERVEPA Aug 2014 #68

whoever mercuryblues Aug 2014 #16

Its being villified as it was. darkangel218 Aug 2014 #21

No I didn't mercuryblues Aug 2014 #61

Why is that? Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #77

bingo mercuryblues Aug 2014 #95

I wonder if any of the 'whatever gets you off' types are as supportive of racist porn. redqueen Aug 2014 #101

What is racist porn? dilby Aug 2014 #104

Just Google the term. redqueen Aug 2014 #110

Good to know that interracial porn is racist porn. n/t dilby Aug 2014 #113

LOL, nice try. People who know what they're talking about won't be fooled by your mendacious spin redqueen Aug 2014 #114

Sorry but I have a feeling you find all porn to be offensive and will find anything dilby Aug 2014 #116

And if you cared enough do do one fucking bit of research for yourself redqueen Aug 2014 #119

Whatever games people want to play in their own bedrooms with each other is fine with me but ... dawg Aug 2014 #22

Youre contradicting yourself. darkangel218 Aug 2014 #40

Because the movie doesn't depict "play". dawg Aug 2014 #52

The whole point behind "play" is to "pretend" is real. darkangel218 Aug 2014 #53

If the film actually depicted it as role play, showing the couple planning it and then ... dawg Aug 2014 #57

I don't care for the term and do not use it. But you are right about the substance. riqster Aug 2014 #23

Exactly right. darkangel218 Aug 2014 #44

. cyberswede Aug 2014 #30

I can see you're not just trying to start a fight. Iggo Aug 2014 #35

+1 redqueen Aug 2014 #39

. Iggo Aug 2014 #50

And i can see you dont have much to contribute to the conversation. darkangel218 Aug 2014 #42

Yesterday you claimed not to know the difference between BainsBane Aug 2014 #43

Youre misinterpreting what i asked. I asked what the definition was , according to those complaning darkangel218 Aug 2014 #49

Rape has everything to do with patriarchy BainsBane Aug 2014 #54

BS. Many women enjoy rape play. darkangel218 Aug 2014 #56

You clearly understood nothing I wrote BainsBane Aug 2014 #115

Please link to anywhere here where anyone said any consensual act was rape. Squinch Aug 2014 #45

Defending rape play is pretty messed up. krawhitham Aug 2014 #47

Its LEGAL, safe and consentual. darkangel218 Aug 2014 #51

Picking your nose in public is legal too jberryhill Aug 2014 #108

darkangel218 don't waste your breath, this site is full of Puritans that frown unless it's dilby Aug 2014 #59

HIGHLY incorrect Blue_Adept Aug 2014 #63

I am sorry but I see too many people who judge based on lifestyle. dilby Aug 2014 #71

What about puritans who are only into missionary? You seem to be judging them. cyberswede Aug 2014 #74

Puritans are fine till they start telling people that other lifestyles are objectionable. n/t dilby Aug 2014 #75

Do you have any links to examples of that on DU? cyberswede Aug 2014 #78

He won't find any links Texasgal Aug 2014 #80

Pretty sure this thread is a perfect example. dilby Aug 2014 #81

Objection to a term isn't the same as mandating what consenting adults can do. cyberswede Aug 2014 #88

There likely aren't any Blue_Adept Aug 2014 #82

I've seen people point out the problems with rape porn cyberswede Aug 2014 #90

+1. Thank you, Blue_Adept. historylovr Aug 2014 #92

Thank you for your post. Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #131

This message was self-deleted by its author 1000words Aug 2014 #87

This dawg is no Puritan. dawg Aug 2014 #91

Where did you get all that straw? treestar Aug 2014 #100

The jury voted 1-6 to Leave It. In_The_Wind Aug 2014 #112

and again seaglass Aug 2014 #64

Between consenting adults, in a private setting? mokawanis Aug 2014 #66

Between CONSENTING adults? Prophet 451 Aug 2014 #69

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that you can no longer post in your own OP! demmiblue Aug 2014 #70

I think people who enjoy 'playing rape' are pretty messed up too. WI_DEM Aug 2014 #76

What else do you think is messed up? Blue_Adept Aug 2014 #79

The words 'rape' and 'play' don't belong in the same sentence... TeeYiYi Aug 2014 #83

i agree but most rape porn is rape porn. La Lioness Priyanka Aug 2014 #86

If that's what turns you on. NCTraveler Aug 2014 #89

i agree with you samsingh Aug 2014 #94

If you mean simulated rape porn, then yes, I agree with you. Iron Man Aug 2014 #99

People have a right to do whatever they want consensually. MadrasT Aug 2014 #103

Using rape to troll is really gross. LeftyMom Aug 2014 #105

I was #3 PeaceNikki Aug 2014 #136

Two threads on this in one day? MineralMan Aug 2014 #107

Remember two things: LadyHawkAZ Aug 2014 #109

rape is never 'play', never. People should be more honest, if you can't get it up without violence.. Sunlei Aug 2014 #111

Since when do women get it up? dilby Aug 2014 #118

perhaps she will go with you to a session. Sunlei Aug 2014 #122

Why do I or a woman need a session? dilby Aug 2014 #124

if it's only women who are "into Rape Play" then with whom are they playing? other women? Scout Aug 2014 #125

Sometimes people do what they are not into to accommodate their partners. dilby Aug 2014 #127

Sounds like you just blurred the line... TeeYiYi Aug 2014 #128

If both parties agree then it's consensual. dilby Aug 2014 #134

If it's not rape... TeeYiYi Aug 2014 #120

Oh get over yourself FFS! Texasgal Aug 2014 #123

+1 FSogol Aug 2014 #126

it is spelled c-o-n-s-e-n-s-u-a-l Kali Aug 2014 #130

might be? yeah. she just might be. Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #135

By editing your OP to complain about your hidden post in MineralMan Aug 2014 #137

On host review. Poster's recent edit of the OP clarified this for us. Locking. pinto Aug 2014 #138