This is what happened to a woman who said "no" to a stranger's gropes

[stevenleser]

32. I don't think she is saying that, just that it can be dangerous.

I think about this subject a lot both in terms of harassed women and harassed LGBT.

Hollaback themselves caution to evaluate the situation and that the best action might be to do nothing, that safety is the key to deciding what to do. http://www.ihollaback.org/resources/responding-to-harassers/

If I choose to respond directly to harassers, how should I do it?
Your safety is the first priority. If you feel safe and choose to respond directly to harassers, here are some general guidelines designed to keep you safe:
1. Be firm. Look them in the eye and denounce their behavior with a strong, clear voice. Many people prefer to name the behavior, for example, “do noot comment on my body, that is harassment,” “Do not stare at me like that, that is harassment,” or a similar phrase. You can also simply say “that is not OK,” or “don’t speak to me like that.” Try out different phrases to see what feels natural to you. The important thing is that you aren’t apologetic in your response in your statement. Skip phrases like “I’m sorry, but…,” or “excuse me sir…”
2. Don’t engage. Harassers may try to respond to your firm response. They may try to engage you in further conversation or even make fun of you. As tempting as it may be get into a verbal war with them, we don’t recommend it. The attention may further feed their abusive behavior.
3. Keep moving. Once you’ve said your piece, keep it moving. Harassers don’t deserve the pleasure of your company.

There is no “perfect” response, because every situation is different and every person is different. Here are some examples of responses from readers on our blog:

I can tell you now that when I start to see a situation develop, I start walking towards the woman or LGBT person(s) and prepare to use a couple of the Hollaback suggestions of what to do as a bystander. Ask the woman or people if they are OK, and attempt to distract the harassers. Not sure of what I am going to do if that doesnt work someday.