Assault weapons DO NOT EXIST

[Duckhunter935]

63. As I have pointed out many times before

I think to you also but I will give you the benefit of missing it.

It is from my 20 plus years as an Army Air Defense Artillery (ADA) soldier. That is a common nickname for us. My avatar is the great and all seeing Oozlefinch.

On 6 July 1956, the Oozlefinch, legendary featherless bird of the Coast Artillery Corps, awakened from his sleep of several years, tucked a Nike in the crook of his nude left leg, and, traveling by ways known only to himself. arrived at Fort Bliss, Texas, the home of the Antiaircraft and Guided Missile Center-there to become the guardian of all missilemen.

Since, as it is well known, the Oozlefinch always flies backwards to keep dust, trivia, and other inconsequentia out of his eyes, the Nike is always positioned at the correct attitude.

The birth and beginnings of this fabulous bird were humble, almost inconsequential, and extremely vague. But, in true Horatio Alger fashion, this ancient, ageless bit of improbability has risen to a position of high honor. The Oozlefinch has focused his benevolent gaze over the men of the guided missiles. He is at once the confidant of generals, the protector of Very Important Persons, and above all, the guardian, patron, and monstrous mentor of modern missilemen.

The first recorded history of the Oozlefinch came through the somewhat rambling mumblings of a Captain H. M. Merriam of Fort Monroe, Virginia. Presumably a raconteur of no mean talents, the captain must be given the credit for discovering the bird about 1905. He apparently was the only man who had seen the creature, and he was loathe to describe appearance, habits, or habitat. One physical characteristic he did emphasize, however:the great bird's eyes. These eyes, as vividly described by the captain, remain today as the outstanding physical mark of the Oozlefinch.

These eyes are large, all-seeing, unshaded by eyelids or eyebrows, and rather seriously blood-shot. just why the eyes are so prominent and red, no one seems sure. But being all-seeing, the bird can gather more information in a shorter period of time than mere mortals who have conventional sight. Because his eyes were unshaded by eyelids or eyebrows, the bird is forced to move tail foremost to protect his powers of observation, but also, he can turn them 180 degrees to gaze inwardly when he desires the maximum value from self-contemplation.

http://ed-thelen.org/oozlefinch.html

You are very good at using Google to find cartoons