Patton Oswalt on the leaked photo scandal [View all]

[PeaceNikki]

Snip...

The actresses (all women, hmmm) who had their personal info hacked from the "cloud" had taken every step they thought needed to be taken to keep their shit safe. "The cloud is secure," we've been told, again and again. Fine. This is America. And they're grown women. With grown-up, consenting partners. Sex is fun, in every imaginable variation. So they had fun with their partners. In any way they saw fit, and in a way that was JUST BETWEEN THEM AND THEIR PARTNER. In the case of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, where she was sharing nude pics with her husband, they thought twice about it and DELETED THE PICS.

And yet, pasty mole-men with Cheeto fingers went creepy-crawling through the 1s and 0s of the info-cloud until they dug up the photos. And then shared them with the world. Which, apparently, is full of men who are resentful of hot women who like to have fun with a partner of their own choosing. Uppity, selfish bitches, amirite? Up top, bro. High five.

Anthony Weiner, bless his heart, was a silly dumbass who, in a momentary brain-blur, shared pics of his dick with someone on Twitter. A consenting, flirty, sexting partner, I assume. EXCEPT HE HIT THE WRONG BUTTON AND SHARED THEM WITH THE WORLD.

The actresses who had their private photos hacked, in some cases AFTER they'd deleted them? Creepy. Disturbing.

A politician who hits the wrong button on an iPhone and sends his cock out into the ether? HILARIOUS.

Trying to compare the two and scream hypocrisy? It's like comparing my disgust with someone taking peephole photos in a woman's private shower to my delight at a cam girl dancing naked who doesn't realize the curtains are open behind her and is giving a free skin-show to two Jehovah's Witnesses and a Girl Scout troop selling cookies.
Do people realize there's already all kinds of naked people on the internet? Gorgeous, energetic men and women who could not be more excited for you to look at them from every single angle? And please don't give me the whole "forbidden fruit tastes better" horseshit. Hacked photos aren't "forbidden fruit." They're fruit you didn't even know existed. And then you act like Indiana Jones escaping a temple with a jeweled idol when they're dropped in your sad lap.
The other aspect of Anthony "Carlos Danger" Weiner's schlong-capades that's missing from the hacked photo story is one of real-world importance. It does NOT affect you, in ANY way shape or form, what consenting adults do with one another. It's their business. And before you say it -- no, it ALSO doesn't affect you if a politician is getting some strange on the side. FDR, JFK, Bush Sr. & Clinton all had mistresses.

But Weiner wanted to join that roll call. And that's a roll call that, since JFK at least, put you within arms reach of the nuclear Armageddon button. And I don't want a guy near that switch when he's already proved he can't be trusted with the "DON'T PUSH THIS OR THE WORLD SEES YOUR DICK" button.

Much more on his FB page: https://www.facebook.com/pattonoswalt/posts/10152464155507655?fref=nf