Why do women stay with their abusers?

[moriah]

51. It was thanks to my sister's bad experience that I knew the warning signs.

But I still let him isolate me out in a small town with no transportation, prior to the attempts to refuse to allow me to see older female friends who were like the aunts I never had, simply because they didn't like him. When I put my foot down and said I *was* going whether he liked it or not, he said "Okay, well I'll be at the titty bar." It was the perfect opportunity, and what rolled off my tongue was "Great, have fun, because you aren't seeing these titties again."

He still believes, I think, that I left him for him saying he'd go to a strip club. No, it was that he was trying to make me jealous as a way to manipulate me.

Even when you think you're sure it could never happen to you, it can. I'm just very lucky to have had an older sister who, despite her own (unjustified, irrational, but often felt) shame at having gotten involved with an abuser, took the time to tell me how it started, long before the first punch.