I am a Male. [View all]

[Hobo]

My ex physically abused me during our marriage. Does that make me a fool? Am I less of a man because of it?

When you love someone, someone who for the large majority of the time was a loving person, do you just overlook these outbursts?

I was the bread winner. She worked in the beginning to help make ends meet but after a few years my income rose to the point were she didn't need to work but she continued to until our divorce.

Here is an example of what would set her off. I traveled a lot for work and sometimes I would need to entertain a clients with a dinner and/or drinks, she was aware of these as she accompanied me to a few after work dinners when clients visited our town. I had a company credit card that was used for this purpose and I had the bill for this sent to home, in part so she could see where the money was going each month. I would be reembursed by the company but it sometime took a few days. One month after she open the bill she looked up and just smacked in the mouth. She says she was mad that I spent $900.00 on a dinner and that I had to be cheating on her. In fact it was a dinner in Chicago for a client who invited about 10 members of his team partly because he knew I would be picking up the check.

I was brought up in the 60s. I was taught and I learned never to hit a woman. I can honestly say I have never even clenched my fist in anger toward a female. Even while I was being smacked in the mouth. Sure I would defend myself by raising my arms to ward off the hits. I never retaliated, I know I could have caused a lot of damage, but something in my mind just said no.

Eventually, I grew tired of the outbursts and finally got out.

I know my actions never required these outbursts. I tried then to figure out what the trigger was, but it was always different. After a while I just gave up.

I am not condoning any ones actions, all I am saying is it is not just men who step over line. (I know that someone here will comment on that sentence)




Hobo