General Discussion

IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)

10. We *do* blame victims of domestic violence who stay in the relationship.

Tue Sep 9, 2014, 06:51 AM

Sep 2014

She is either "brain washed/mind controlled", "mentally ill/wants it", a "slave" due to her financial/social circumstances, or a "gold digger."

I am going to stick with IDIOT because yes, victims of crimes who do not send their perpetrators to jail due to emotional ties EVEN THOUGH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A CRIME are viewed by the rest of society as either "asking for it" (see above) or idiots.

Not every person who is the victim of a physical assault sees themselves AS a victim; they frequently find themselves in the POWERFUL position of PROTECTING THE PEOPLE WHO ABUSE THEM --

Relationship dynamics are complicated. It makes it easy to put a stranger in jail, but not someone you love, and that applies to the guy who punches you in the elevator, or the teenager dipping into your purse for cash without permission.

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She married him because she is an idiot. [View all] IdaBriggs Sep 2014 OP

I think she is not an idiot, but married him to walk away with half of his fortune. B Calm Sep 2014 #1

Rice probably has not earned a cent exboyfil Sep 2014 #35

He has eared his last dollar in football BlueStreak Sep 2014 #103

You make several good points, not the least of which is that it's learned behavior. Arkansas Granny Sep 2014 #2

"Mind control", "mentally ill", "slave" and "gold digger" seem to be the "go to" IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #8

Calling her an idiot isn't that far out of the fucking box. n/t moriah Sep 2014 #25

It's outside the box pintobean Sep 2014 #27

Yeah, that's the only "out of box" thinking happening here, for sure. moriah Sep 2014 #29

Oxytocin is a bigger liar than alcohol is Warpy Sep 2014 #101

Victims of domestic violence are not idiots. pintobean Sep 2014 #3

Thank you for missing the point. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #4

The point is pintobean Sep 2014 #6

We *do* blame victims of domestic violence who stay in the relationship. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #10

Another reason women don't send their perpetrators to jail boston bean Sep 2014 #12

Did she seriously look afraid of him to you? IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #17

This message board is also not about victim-blaming. moriah Sep 2014 #24

No Ida, "we" do not. You are doing it, but many of us know better. Speak for yourself. bettyellen Sep 2014 #48

No "we" don't. Beaverhausen Sep 2014 #53

Perhaps your point would have been better made without Skidmore Sep 2014 #7

Calling her an idiot is flat out victim blaming. Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #22

Welcome to a difference of opinion. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #28

You repeated the assertion in your text (see, I read it.) Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #32

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #38

I never agree to disagree with anyone. That's dismissive. Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #39

I saw that thread. It was one of those that inspired this one. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #41

Yes, "agreeing to disagree" is dismissive Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #84

Did you see how she edited the OP to speak of her hide here. boston bean Sep 2014 #92

Circumventing the jury system like that is ill-advised. Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #94

No, there is not a violation in doing that. NYC_SKP Sep 2014 #95

Did I show "outrage" somewhere? boston bean Sep 2014 #96

It is circumventing the restrictions placed on her account pintobean Sep 2014 #98

Then, despite whatever family experience you're going by, you show a lack of understanding. moriah Sep 2014 #33

Let me pull it up for you. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #40

Calling women idiots doesn't help them reclaim the power they've surrendered, though. moriah Sep 2014 #49

Perspective is everything: you saw me "attack the victim for standing up to her abuser." IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #58

I think she's a damn fool. cwydro Sep 2014 #76

Considering she's now giving interviews and making statements like this one? Chan790 Sep 2014 #47

Thank you Beaverhausen Sep 2014 #51

Good post Ida.... trumad Sep 2014 #5

The analogy that comes to my mind is TexasProgresive Sep 2014 #9

She married him because she thought he'd change... Historic NY Sep 2014 #11

then she can stop him from "over reacting" the next time by NOT provoking him. Oktober Sep 2014 #13

I am glad you see the STUPID in the comment. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #19

Ida was describing what the woman was thinking, not what Ida herself believes. nt tblue37 Sep 2014 #37

This message was self-deleted by its author mentalsolstice Sep 2014 #80

Just when you think you've seen everything, a thread like this comes along. Sheldon Cooper Sep 2014 #14

Well, this is helpful. Brickbat Sep 2014 #15

Good post (content), terrible title. You make many great points but calling her an 'idiot' rather pampango Sep 2014 #16

It is the not-so-secret opinion of most people. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #21

Wow. Starry Messenger Sep 2014 #18

Please read what you just wrote. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #26

God, for someone who hectors other on rudeness, you sure take the cake. Starry Messenger Sep 2014 #97

Wow, we've certainly a lot of people who seem to know everything about everyone NightWatcher Sep 2014 #20

If you read the post, you know I've been laying it out there. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #23

Here are the bright shiny moments from Ida's life that she has shared on DU mentalsolstice Sep 2014 #81

That does help explain why people stay with their abusers treestar Sep 2014 #30

I sympathize with Mrs. Price. ladjf Sep 2014 #31

I think that people like you are the problem. Not the victim. LexVegas Sep 2014 #34

I think the problem is MOSTLY the guy who hit her. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #43

I wouldn't call her an idiot. If anything, I would say she made an idiotic decision. Tatiana Sep 2014 #36

This is a good point that you've made, Tatiana. AverageJoe90 Sep 2014 #117

How does your calling a victim of domestic violence an "idiot" help advance Heidi Sep 2014 #42

Ask the same question about any of the other ways we as a society have handled this discussion. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #50

This is one of those issues pipi_k Sep 2014 #44

Your post moved me to tears (and I've been staying strong in this thread). IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #60

At first I disagreed with you calling her an idiot. But you are right. Autumn Sep 2014 #45

The whole situation is very complex exboyfil Sep 2014 #46

Janay Palmer Rice has a bachelors degree in communications riderinthestorm Sep 2014 #111

Income security is always a factor exboyfil Sep 2014 #112

There are many DUer posts to the contrary. FEAR is a constant, not income security riderinthestorm Sep 2014 #113

Pretend I've been living under a rock. Who are we talking about here? AtheistCrusader Sep 2014 #52

A football player (Boston Ravens?) named Ray Rice IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #66

Holy shit... AtheistCrusader Sep 2014 #67

Most of us agree with you. She apparently does not. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #70

I have no words... AtheistCrusader Sep 2014 #71

Baltimore Marrah_G Sep 2014 #110

You should take idiot out of your subject line rbrnmw Sep 2014 #54

Yeah, my sister felt like that too loyalsister Sep 2014 #55

AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your Jury Service ChisolmTrailDem Sep 2014 #56

Which juror were you? pintobean Sep 2014 #61

#7. Problem? nt ChisolmTrailDem Sep 2014 #62

That was my guess pintobean Sep 2014 #63

Based on...what exactly? ChisolmTrailDem Sep 2014 #64

"it doesn't break the rules that lead to a hide" pintobean Sep 2014 #72

So, that I and 5 other jurors voted to let it stay, says what...exactly? BTW, ChisolmTrailDem Sep 2014 #73

I can't answer that pintobean Sep 2014 #74

So, what exactly are you trying to say about my voting to leave it? nt ChisolmTrailDem Sep 2014 #78

I would have hid it. zappaman Sep 2014 #114

Thank you for sharing this. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #68

Yw, though I don't care for the 'idiot' language. nt ChisolmTrailDem Sep 2014 #69

Calling her an idiot is offensive, mean and ugly lunatica Sep 2014 #57

I guess the OP feels the need to get in a smack at Janay Rice too. Lex Sep 2014 #105

She is not an idiot, she has made choices that are not in her best interest. Avalux Sep 2014 #59

FYI: you are not an authority on DV or her. You just aren't. PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #65

and ironically idiotic. nt La Lioness Priyanka Sep 2014 #88

I imagine you feel very empowered by pretending to know why or why not any given couple stays togeth LanternWaste Sep 2014 #75

+1 leftstreet Sep 2014 #77

I know someone who went back and forth in a relationship before she married the guy. Tikki Sep 2014 #79

You should just delete this piece of shit OP. You've already been locked out of it. PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #82

You never cease to amaze! mentalsolstice Sep 2014 #83

What the everloving fuck is the matter with you? nt LeftyMom Sep 2014 #85

Jury results WilliamPitt Sep 2014 #86

Gee, how am I ever going to find your comment? ;) LeftyMom Sep 2014 #90

a lack of empathy? a desire to be iconoclastic? general douchery? La Lioness Priyanka Sep 2014 #87

It is an important issue, I'm not sure why you could not see the problem, in a place where AuntPatsy Sep 2014 #89

Calling an abused woman an idiot is a form of abuse. You have it in you. NCTraveler Sep 2014 #91

My thought exactly. Lex Sep 2014 #106

IMO, like Snookie and her fans, there's a lot of "it" going around, it's an American thing. NYC_SKP Sep 2014 #93

People choose what's familiar: Alcohol, abuse, neglect, whatever. Smart people do, too. lindysalsagal Sep 2014 #99

All walks of life! mentalsolstice Sep 2014 #104

it is her choice Niceguy1 Sep 2014 #100

Fox News responds to domestic violence. Saffron Sep 2014 #102

She is NOT an idiot, she knows HIT is his response. It is much more complicated than that. uppityperson Sep 2014 #107

I find your point of view on this revolting. Marrah_G Sep 2014 #108

I don't agree with you steve2470 Sep 2014 #109

No, she's an idiot for defending him and his actions. flvegan Sep 2014 #115

To be honest, Ida.....I disagree with some of your points. AverageJoe90 Sep 2014 #116