General Discussion

gollygee

(22,336 posts)

32. I agree that DU turns to "what about the men" way too often

Tue Sep 9, 2014, 07:13 AM

Sep 2014

in threads about violence against women, but I appreciate that this is its own thread. I don't think a thread about men who are victims of domestic violence, especially when the person who started the thread is an actual victim and isn't talking about a theoretically potential, is the same as responding to a thread about women victims of domestic violence with, "But men are sometimes victims too!"

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I am a Male. [View all] Hobo Sep 2014 OP

I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm glad you got out Warpy Sep 2014 #1

Hugs to you Hobo. JimDandy Sep 2014 #2

My Ex abused me too, actually. Bit me once or twice, kicked me, and was routinely verbally abusive villager Sep 2014 #3

People who ann--- Sep 2014 #5

This is why it's so important that the right questions are asked of the abuser Triana Sep 2014 #7

And then she left me for a verbally abusive alcoholic, who she *returned* to after hospitalization villager Sep 2014 #8

I hope this works out well for you and your family. Eleanors38 Sep 2014 #38

That is the sad, unspoken question, E38 villager Sep 2014 #61

Thing about heartbreak I've noted: The routine of Eleanors38 Sep 2014 #69

I've been to Austin in the spring, and several times in summer (!) villager Sep 2014 #93

In town, it's a relief. Outside, it's creation. Eleanors38 Sep 2014 #94

If she abused you, she might have also abused your sons. tblue37 Sep 2014 #43

She had a very tough time with eldest son when he was in jr. high villager Sep 2014 #62

Sounds like hormones could be involved too if she is improving as she ages. catbyte Sep 2014 #65

That has occurred to me, too. There was -- is -- a biochemical component, as well villager Sep 2014 #66

Thank you for sharing your story. Behind the Aegis Sep 2014 #4

Sadly, BtA, you are correct Aerows Sep 2014 #52

It's abuse no matter who does it: male or female, same-sex partner or whatever. Triana Sep 2014 #6

No judgment here. beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #9

very underreported, this happening to men. My nephew is undergoing this roguevalley Sep 2014 #10

I know of those situations. Blue_In_AK Sep 2014 #11

"Something about each of us just totally pissed our exes off" ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #13

Well, you are exactly right. Blue_In_AK Sep 2014 #15

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #12

"you could just walk away" ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #14

yeah I did. redruddyred Sep 2014 #16

So it's not possible for a woman to hit a man with an object as his back is turned.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #17

that's objectively extremely difficult redruddyred Sep 2014 #19

What does the ability to "just physically walk away" have to do with it? beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #21

*crickets joeglow3 Sep 2014 #37

At least that one was hidden. beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #55

Message auto-removed Name removed Sep 2014 #91

Ironic I would read this right now SickOfTheOnePct Sep 2014 #26

The most mercuryblues Sep 2014 #31

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #48

"Replying" to the hidden post SickOfTheOnePct Sep 2014 #57

I very seldom alert beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #59

I know you're unable to respond to this but I need to address what you've... one_voice Sep 2014 #54

Reminds me of Rep. Alan Grayson - remember that video posted here closeupready Sep 2014 #58

Message auto-removed Name removed Sep 2014 #92

My dad tried to walk away, so mom picked up a butcher knife and chased after him. B Calm Sep 2014 #22

The highest potential for violence is there regardless of the size of one compared to the other gollygee Sep 2014 #30

Discussing men who are DV victims isn't in poor taste. Gormy Cuss Sep 2014 #45

Message auto-removed Name removed Sep 2014 #90

"this is why discussion of domestic violence towards men is considered in poor taste." hrmjustin Sep 2014 #47

Hobo, my heart goes out to you. Skidmore Sep 2014 #18

You're correct. Women can be abusive, too. moriah Sep 2014 #20

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #23

I will mercuryblues Sep 2014 #29

Less of a man? Shankapotomus Sep 2014 #24

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #25

Must be Alan West. Scuba Sep 2014 #28

I agree that DU turns to "what about the men" way too often gollygee Sep 2014 #32

What is your problem on this thread? NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #34

It's pretty repulsive to use a sock to attack a post like this, just FYI. Marr Sep 2014 #39

The owner of this sock IS on a timeout, are they not? tkmorris Sep 2014 #41

I believe so, yep. /nt Marr Sep 2014 #53

Um, what the hell is wrong with you? tavalon Sep 2014 #46

Violence is wrong regardless of the sex of the initiator jimlup Sep 2014 #27

I completely disagree with you. closeupready Sep 2014 #50

But are we ALL "physically larger and stronger"? Smarmie Doofus Sep 2014 #73

All kinds of psychological fault lines criss-crossing this issue. Smarmie Doofus Sep 2014 #33

I wish I could rec this post. beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #56

Thanks. Smarmie Doofus Sep 2014 #75

You should. beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #76

+100 n/t lumberjack_jeff Sep 2014 #64

Sorry you had to go through that Hobo. NaturalHigh Sep 2014 #35

I think sometimes a woman hitting a man can signal... Whiskeytide Sep 2014 #36

I watched my father being abused his whole life dickthegrouch Sep 2014 #40

Good for you cvoogt Sep 2014 #42

That is awful tavalon Sep 2014 #44

It takes courage to post what you did. beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #60

You should have defended yourself, but I'm glad you closeupready Sep 2014 #49

Of course it was wrong for her to hit you- TheVisitor Sep 2014 #51

Conversations about collective blame or "degrees of violence" miss the point. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2014 #63

I abused my ex-husband once and never regretted it. RebelOne Sep 2014 #67

Ouch. mnhtnbb Sep 2014 #70

So... basically you're saying it's ok to beat your husband unconscious.... Smarmie Doofus Sep 2014 #71

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #79

4 DUers found your violent assault acceptable. Union Scribe Sep 2014 #80

I know...how disgusting is that? U4ikLefty Sep 2014 #81

At least they got caught on their double down ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2014 #83

THIS IS A FUCKING DISGUSTING POST U4ikLefty Sep 2014 #82

That happened to a friend of mine. hifiguy Sep 2014 #68

Abuse is abuse LWolf Sep 2014 #72

The thread that said men shouldn't post about being abused got many more rec's than yours Doctor_J Sep 2014 #74

Good god. Do ya' have a link for that one? Smarmie Doofus Sep 2014 #77

Where is the thread that said men shouldn't post about being abused? n/t kcr Sep 2014 #85

on the greatest page. it's called something like Doctor_J Sep 2014 #86

That isn't saying what you claim it is n/t kcr Sep 2014 #87

Really? Here is most of the op Doctor_J Sep 2014 #88

Really. I read the OP. kcr Sep 2014 #89

True equality n/t UTUSN Sep 2014 #78

K & R - thank you for your post Hobo! lovemydog Sep 2014 #84