She married him because she is an idiot.

[exboyfil]

46. The whole situation is very complex

Early in my parent's marriage, my dad broke my mom's jaw and knocked several teeth out. I was very young at the time. There were other examples of abuse and infidelity that I know about, and probably many I do not. They stayed together 44 years until my dad's death at 65. My dad left her his 401(k), their, house, his pension and she is also on his social security. If she had left him earlier in the marriage she would never have had that level of income security, and my life would have been very different. In spite of it all I still love my dad and had many good times with him. I would not have like growing up separated from him like my half brother did.

I have never struck my wife of 27 years. We have had verbal altercations and there were times that I was verbally abusive which I deeply regret. I have instructed my two daughters in no uncertain terms to immediately leave a relationship if physical abuse occurs. They understand this and they are pursuing careers that will allow them to be independent irrespective of who they marry (my wife, mother, and both grandparents did not have this option). Both my grandmothers were in abusive relationships as well.

One common denominator in the abuse was alcohol. Neither my wife nor I drink, and I have strongly discouraged my daughters to drink.

I can't imagine how difficult it is for women with children who have husbands/boyfriends who are abusive. You throw in the threat to income security which happened in this case, and you can see how the wife will be lashing out. I think it is misdirected, but the rebound for witch hunts against husband's paychecks is going to be less income security for these women with probably nothing done about the abusive relationship. My mom never turned my dad in and the threat that him being in jail would cost him his job was one factor.