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Nye Bevan

(25,406 posts)

10. To me, someone who would do that to a woman is almost like a different species.

Reply to uppityperson (Original post)

Tue Sep 9, 2014, 06:49 PM

Sep 2014

And I have no explanation for the question that you asked.

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Why did Ray Rice marry someone he assaulted and disrespected so much? [View all] uppityperson Sep 2014 OP

To keep her from suing him. n/t yellerpup Sep 2014 #1

She would've sued him if he'd gotten help? uppityperson Sep 2014 #12

Did you see their dual press conference? yellerpup Sep 2014 #39

But unless they signed a prenup he's in even worse shape rocktivity Sep 2014 #32

That was the gamble. yellerpup Sep 2014 #74

I think that it is spousal privilege Gothmog Sep 2014 #104

To save his football career. nt DURHAM D Sep 2014 #2

Because JanetLovesObama Sep 2014 #3

I'm not quite so pessimistic, but I do worry for her. Quite a bit. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #63

That's how I feel - TBF Sep 2014 #85

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #79

oh really? "I don't believe there's anything wrong with hitting a woman if she's asking for it"? NRaleighLiberal Sep 2014 #81

Message auto-removed Name removed Sep 2014 #82

I smell bait... 99Forever Sep 2014 #84

Because the system and our society allow it. PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #4

+1 nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #64

and not just with football players questionseverything Sep 2014 #94

We should prohibit people who hit each other from getting married? Doctor_J Sep 2014 #110

As with Janay, we will never really know and can only speak in generalizations. NYC_SKP Sep 2014 #5

See the first response malaise Sep 2014 #6

Because she could take a punch? PassingFair Sep 2014 #7

And uppity FTW! beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #8

Excellent question leftstreet Sep 2014 #9

excellent answer- and really an eye opener how similar the possible reasons are the same as hers. bettyellen Sep 2014 #31

To me, someone who would do that to a woman is almost like a different species. Nye Bevan Sep 2014 #10

He's not a different species, though, he's a member of H. sapiens just like you and me. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #65

Far too many people discount their own capacity for bad behavior mythology Sep 2014 #78

Absolutely. I'm one of the mellowest people around, and even I slugged a couple guys in the face nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #83

recommending for the responses...... Grey Sep 2014 #11

+ Brickbat Sep 2014 #13

+1 Texasgal Sep 2014 #14

Because he probably thinks he respects her when he's sober TexasMommaWithAHat Sep 2014 #15

FYI, they first met when they were in high school. . . DinahMoeHum Sep 2014 #16

Are you saying he did not get help for assaulting someone due to problems about having too much $? uppityperson Sep 2014 #21

I'm only speculating - I can't be definite. Neither can anybody else FTM. . . DinahMoeHum Sep 2014 #33

Now you seem to be saying he did get help, and according to that letter it was a one time thing uppityperson Sep 2014 #59

There are a couple of things about this incident that bother me even more Arkansas Granny Sep 2014 #43

I believe in many states Tsiyu Sep 2014 #53

I've been waiting for someone to mention these two things sammythecat Sep 2014 #91

Indeed. His reaction was very telling and appalling. It showed blatant disregard for her uppityperson Sep 2014 #92

wrong question 1dogleft Sep 2014 #17

Why is it wrong to ask why he did not get the help he needed? Why is it wrong to ask why he married uppityperson Sep 2014 #19

Given his reported income, one might think he or they could arrange professional treatment. NYC_SKP Sep 2014 #28

Sometimes, the person with the problem doesn't realize (or admit) they HAVE a problem. Buns_of_Fire Sep 2014 #38

He did not realize at pnching out his fiance meant HEhad a problem? That is a good answer. uppityperson Sep 2014 #60

The only help he can get is to get his ass kicked Reter Sep 2014 #44

The only help a violent person can get is violence? I disagree, have hopes dv abusers can realize uppityperson Sep 2014 #61

Whether or not it helps him, he still deserves to see what it's like to get smacked Reter Sep 2014 #112

That loud whooooooossssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh you just heard beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #22

You win the thread! johnp3907 Sep 2014 #89

it went right over your head Skittles Sep 2014 #58

OMG 1dogleft Sep 2014 #72

*you're. that's what we call "a tell". PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #88

okay 1dogleft Sep 2014 #111

I'm a night worker so I can relate Skittles Sep 2014 #109

because... Dollysmom Sep 2014 #18

There is no answer tooeyeten Sep 2014 #20

Why ask why he did not seek the help he needed? It seems a valid question. uppityperson Sep 2014 #24

There are as many reasons tooeyeten Sep 2014 #29

Nonsense- there are commonalities in abusers' behavior before, after and during abuse.... bettyellen Sep 2014 #34

I disagree tooeyeten Sep 2014 #49

We only disagree in that I belive it is also important to reframe the questions- and to look for bettyellen Sep 2014 #51

Different perspective tooeyeten Sep 2014 #54

definitely no one size fits all solution, and our culture seems to celebrate violence to such an bettyellen Sep 2014 #113

it is complicated but to say don't ask how he got like this because it is complicated helps no one uppityperson Sep 2014 #62

There's a saying that seems befitting tooeyeten Sep 2014 #76

It is complex, but one can still observe patterns and commonalities. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #68

Bigger than this tooeyeten Sep 2014 #75

Maybe she asked him to. Sweet Freedom Sep 2014 #90

So he would have someone to assault and disrespect, of course! Lydia Leftcoast Sep 2014 #23

Quoting Richard pryor here Cartoonist Sep 2014 #25

Take your pick rocktivity Sep 2014 #26

all of the above SummerSnow Sep 2014 #46

Becasue he grew up in a dysfunctional family... ReRe Sep 2014 #52

Emotional Immaturity handmade34 Sep 2014 #27

Some men need someone to kick around. Aside from the flash bang of the punch, I found it more txwhitedove Sep 2014 #30

Exactly! narnian60 Sep 2014 #41

I keep wondering about steroid rage when I watch the video riderinthestorm Sep 2014 #35

I wonder about meth use...violent outbursts are fairly common, from what I've heard. nt Stardust Sep 2014 #69

Exactly. These are the questions. Glimmer of Hope Sep 2014 #36

He doesn't need help. Demobrat Sep 2014 #37

The law in some states protects a spouse from having to testify against a spouse in court. Roselma Sep 2014 #40

He doesn't respect any woman OldHippieChick Sep 2014 #42

Control. SummerSnow Sep 2014 #45

Just a personal experience cheyanne Sep 2014 #47

Ratherthan aking why he did it, I am asking why he didn't get help and why he married uppityperson Sep 2014 #66

well now that he has lost his career, he will blame her and continue to beat her as punishment. SummerSnow Sep 2014 #48

assuming this isn't a rhetorical question, it's classic, very typical, standard MO.. 2banon Sep 2014 #50

Because he ann--- Sep 2014 #55

Alot of people do the same thing all around the world. Men treating women like objects. Rex Sep 2014 #56

Ownership. 2naSalit Sep 2014 #57

She went on TV and apologized for getting her ass kicked. Iggo Sep 2014 #67

+1000 nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #70

If you watched the video, she charged him in an aggressive manner. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #71

His reaction was telling. He showed no concern to her lying unconscious and dragged her out uppityperson Sep 2014 #93

I agree with most of what you said. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #99

Thanks for the reply and yup. uppityperson Sep 2014 #100

I used to say that people approaching me were "charging" too... it sounds melodramatic as such LanternWaste Sep 2014 #97

I don't know any other word to use to describe what she was doing. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #101

Abusers almost always think the abuse either isn't a big deal Lee-Lee Sep 2014 #73

Message auto-removed Name removed Sep 2014 #80

Because he could assault her and disrespect her so much. aikoaiko Sep 2014 #77

Yep. Biggest reason - or top 2 or 3 anyway - why people do fucked up things. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #86

Sick relationships require sick participants. 99Forever Sep 2014 #87

Inverse question: Why did Ray Rice assault and disrespect someone he married? 0rganism Sep 2014 #95

LOL! Good one. n/t Orsino Sep 2014 #96

he loves her in spite of the fact that she makes him punch her magical thyme Sep 2014 #98

He's a bully looking for a mark. He found one. CakeGrrl Sep 2014 #102

Spousal privilege-she can not testify against him in criminal trial against her will Gothmog Sep 2014 #103

Because he is an abusive person. Often, they look for potential victims. eallen Sep 2014 #105

Love. bigwillq Sep 2014 #106

I guess I view love as based on mutual respect, not disrespect. uppityperson Sep 2014 #107

Not love. bigwillq Sep 2014 #108

domestic abuse is a sickness, an addiction and they both are ill and co-dependent. librechik Sep 2014 #114

Because he knew he could get away with continuing the abuse & disrespect without consequences. WillowTree Sep 2014 #115