General Discussion

Demobrat

(10,277 posts)

37. He doesn't need help.

Tue Sep 9, 2014, 08:16 PM

Sep 2014

He knocked her unconscious all by himself, and it probably wasn't the first time. He enjoyed it, she gave him permission to do it again by sticking around, so why not marry her? He doesn't even have to go to the gym anymore. He's got his own personal punching bag right there at home.

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Why did Ray Rice marry someone he assaulted and disrespected so much? [View all] uppityperson Sep 2014 OP

To keep her from suing him. n/t yellerpup Sep 2014 #1

She would've sued him if he'd gotten help? uppityperson Sep 2014 #12

Did you see their dual press conference? yellerpup Sep 2014 #39

But unless they signed a prenup he's in even worse shape rocktivity Sep 2014 #32

That was the gamble. yellerpup Sep 2014 #74

I think that it is spousal privilege Gothmog Sep 2014 #104

To save his football career. nt DURHAM D Sep 2014 #2

Because JanetLovesObama Sep 2014 #3

I'm not quite so pessimistic, but I do worry for her. Quite a bit. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #63

That's how I feel - TBF Sep 2014 #85

Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #79

oh really? "I don't believe there's anything wrong with hitting a woman if she's asking for it"? NRaleighLiberal Sep 2014 #81

Message auto-removed Name removed Sep 2014 #82

I smell bait... 99Forever Sep 2014 #84

Because the system and our society allow it. PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #4

+1 nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #64

and not just with football players questionseverything Sep 2014 #94

We should prohibit people who hit each other from getting married? Doctor_J Sep 2014 #110

As with Janay, we will never really know and can only speak in generalizations. NYC_SKP Sep 2014 #5

See the first response malaise Sep 2014 #6

Because she could take a punch? PassingFair Sep 2014 #7

And uppity FTW! beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #8

Excellent question leftstreet Sep 2014 #9

excellent answer- and really an eye opener how similar the possible reasons are the same as hers. bettyellen Sep 2014 #31

To me, someone who would do that to a woman is almost like a different species. Nye Bevan Sep 2014 #10

He's not a different species, though, he's a member of H. sapiens just like you and me. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #65

Far too many people discount their own capacity for bad behavior mythology Sep 2014 #78

Absolutely. I'm one of the mellowest people around, and even I slugged a couple guys in the face nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #83

recommending for the responses...... Grey Sep 2014 #11

+ Brickbat Sep 2014 #13

+1 Texasgal Sep 2014 #14

Because he probably thinks he respects her when he's sober TexasMommaWithAHat Sep 2014 #15

FYI, they first met when they were in high school. . . DinahMoeHum Sep 2014 #16

Are you saying he did not get help for assaulting someone due to problems about having too much $? uppityperson Sep 2014 #21

I'm only speculating - I can't be definite. Neither can anybody else FTM. . . DinahMoeHum Sep 2014 #33

Now you seem to be saying he did get help, and according to that letter it was a one time thing uppityperson Sep 2014 #59

There are a couple of things about this incident that bother me even more Arkansas Granny Sep 2014 #43

I believe in many states Tsiyu Sep 2014 #53

I've been waiting for someone to mention these two things sammythecat Sep 2014 #91

Indeed. His reaction was very telling and appalling. It showed blatant disregard for her uppityperson Sep 2014 #92

wrong question 1dogleft Sep 2014 #17

Why is it wrong to ask why he did not get the help he needed? Why is it wrong to ask why he married uppityperson Sep 2014 #19

Given his reported income, one might think he or they could arrange professional treatment. NYC_SKP Sep 2014 #28

Sometimes, the person with the problem doesn't realize (or admit) they HAVE a problem. Buns_of_Fire Sep 2014 #38

He did not realize at pnching out his fiance meant HEhad a problem? That is a good answer. uppityperson Sep 2014 #60

The only help he can get is to get his ass kicked Reter Sep 2014 #44

The only help a violent person can get is violence? I disagree, have hopes dv abusers can realize uppityperson Sep 2014 #61

Whether or not it helps him, he still deserves to see what it's like to get smacked Reter Sep 2014 #112

That loud whooooooossssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh you just heard beam me up scottie Sep 2014 #22

You win the thread! johnp3907 Sep 2014 #89

it went right over your head Skittles Sep 2014 #58

OMG 1dogleft Sep 2014 #72

*you're. that's what we call "a tell". PeaceNikki Sep 2014 #88

okay 1dogleft Sep 2014 #111

I'm a night worker so I can relate Skittles Sep 2014 #109

because... Dollysmom Sep 2014 #18

There is no answer tooeyeten Sep 2014 #20

Why ask why he did not seek the help he needed? It seems a valid question. uppityperson Sep 2014 #24

There are as many reasons tooeyeten Sep 2014 #29

Nonsense- there are commonalities in abusers' behavior before, after and during abuse.... bettyellen Sep 2014 #34

I disagree tooeyeten Sep 2014 #49

We only disagree in that I belive it is also important to reframe the questions- and to look for bettyellen Sep 2014 #51

Different perspective tooeyeten Sep 2014 #54

definitely no one size fits all solution, and our culture seems to celebrate violence to such an bettyellen Sep 2014 #113

it is complicated but to say don't ask how he got like this because it is complicated helps no one uppityperson Sep 2014 #62

There's a saying that seems befitting tooeyeten Sep 2014 #76

It is complex, but one can still observe patterns and commonalities. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #68

Bigger than this tooeyeten Sep 2014 #75

Maybe she asked him to. Sweet Freedom Sep 2014 #90

So he would have someone to assault and disrespect, of course! Lydia Leftcoast Sep 2014 #23

Quoting Richard pryor here Cartoonist Sep 2014 #25

Take your pick rocktivity Sep 2014 #26

all of the above SummerSnow Sep 2014 #46

Becasue he grew up in a dysfunctional family... ReRe Sep 2014 #52

Emotional Immaturity handmade34 Sep 2014 #27

Some men need someone to kick around. Aside from the flash bang of the punch, I found it more txwhitedove Sep 2014 #30

Exactly! narnian60 Sep 2014 #41

I keep wondering about steroid rage when I watch the video riderinthestorm Sep 2014 #35

I wonder about meth use...violent outbursts are fairly common, from what I've heard. nt Stardust Sep 2014 #69

Exactly. These are the questions. Glimmer of Hope Sep 2014 #36

He doesn't need help. Demobrat Sep 2014 #37

The law in some states protects a spouse from having to testify against a spouse in court. Roselma Sep 2014 #40

He doesn't respect any woman OldHippieChick Sep 2014 #42

Control. SummerSnow Sep 2014 #45

Just a personal experience cheyanne Sep 2014 #47

Ratherthan aking why he did it, I am asking why he didn't get help and why he married uppityperson Sep 2014 #66

well now that he has lost his career, he will blame her and continue to beat her as punishment. SummerSnow Sep 2014 #48

assuming this isn't a rhetorical question, it's classic, very typical, standard MO.. 2banon Sep 2014 #50

Because he ann--- Sep 2014 #55

Alot of people do the same thing all around the world. Men treating women like objects. Rex Sep 2014 #56

Ownership. 2naSalit Sep 2014 #57

She went on TV and apologized for getting her ass kicked. Iggo Sep 2014 #67

+1000 nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #70

If you watched the video, she charged him in an aggressive manner. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #71

His reaction was telling. He showed no concern to her lying unconscious and dragged her out uppityperson Sep 2014 #93

I agree with most of what you said. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #99

Thanks for the reply and yup. uppityperson Sep 2014 #100

I used to say that people approaching me were "charging" too... it sounds melodramatic as such LanternWaste Sep 2014 #97

I don't know any other word to use to describe what she was doing. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #101

Abusers almost always think the abuse either isn't a big deal Lee-Lee Sep 2014 #73

Message auto-removed Name removed Sep 2014 #80

Because he could assault her and disrespect her so much. aikoaiko Sep 2014 #77

Yep. Biggest reason - or top 2 or 3 anyway - why people do fucked up things. nomorenomore08 Sep 2014 #86

Sick relationships require sick participants. 99Forever Sep 2014 #87

Inverse question: Why did Ray Rice assault and disrespect someone he married? 0rganism Sep 2014 #95

LOL! Good one. n/t Orsino Sep 2014 #96

he loves her in spite of the fact that she makes him punch her magical thyme Sep 2014 #98

He's a bully looking for a mark. He found one. CakeGrrl Sep 2014 #102

Spousal privilege-she can not testify against him in criminal trial against her will Gothmog Sep 2014 #103

Because he is an abusive person. Often, they look for potential victims. eallen Sep 2014 #105

Love. bigwillq Sep 2014 #106

I guess I view love as based on mutual respect, not disrespect. uppityperson Sep 2014 #107

Not love. bigwillq Sep 2014 #108

domestic abuse is a sickness, an addiction and they both are ill and co-dependent. librechik Sep 2014 #114

Because he knew he could get away with continuing the abuse & disrespect without consequences. WillowTree Sep 2014 #115