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Are_grits_groceries

(17,139 posts) Sun Sep 14, 2014, 05:34 AM Sep 2014

I was switched all the time as a kid. [View all]

My cousins were too. I am not defending it. It's another form of violence couched in a regional definition.

We had to pick our own switches. You learned to pick stiffer, less supple branches. They hurt less than the sting of the others which could act like whips. You survived less lashes if you hollered and acted as if it hurt like hell. It did hurt, but if you somehow conveyed you were oh so sorry by acting horribly wounded at the first blow and pleading, then it seemed to satisfy the elders most of the time.

Was I really sorry? I was sorry I got caught and was going to be switched. We all learned to be more devious and careful. AND you never narced on anybody if you got hurt in some way. You just planned your payback instead of turning the perpetrator over to the elders.

What was worse for me was the 'game' my Mama played. If she got real mad at me, she wouldn't talk to me and pretended not to know me. She would also act like she was going to leave me wherever we were at that moment. It could be a store, a friend's house, at a relative's, or by the side of a road. You want to terrify a little kid then try that. I still have nightmares occasionally about that.

Neither method is right. However, a branch from a bush is not embedded in my psyche.

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41 replies

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I was switched all the time as a kid. [View all] Are_grits_groceries Sep 2014 OP

Both are abuse, in my experience and opinion. Heidi Sep 2014 #1

I agree. Are_grits_groceries Sep 2014 #4

I know you weren't minimizing it. Heidi Sep 2014 #5

Being hit hard is very different from beiing hit until you have deep cuts and require medical merrily Sep 2014 #2

I disagree. Are_grits_groceries Sep 2014 #3

We see it differently. I think that kid's beating is different from the merrily Sep 2014 #6

Just a point of fact. Jenoch Sep 2014 #22

My childhood experiences justiceischeap Sep 2014 #7

And some mean that the adult child wants nothing to do with the parent ever again, pnwmom Sep 2014 #38

Of the several whippings I got growing up one stands out. TexasProgresive Sep 2014 #8

My sister cut the buttons off most of our father's jackets and pants... 4139 Sep 2014 #9

I got spankings and some switchings as a kid, but nothing that drew blood. MoonRiver Sep 2014 #10

You don't have the stick in your psyche, but, you mentioned HereSince1628 Sep 2014 #11

Oh I have no doubt that the switchings left Are_grits_groceries Sep 2014 #12

I think members of our society are vulnerable to discounting such things HereSince1628 Sep 2014 #13

I think you are right. Are_grits_groceries Sep 2014 #15

I was very devious a a kid HipChick Sep 2014 #14

What is happening in that little video? oberliner Sep 2014 #19

"Rob Ford looks at food" librechik Sep 2014 #41

I never understood Glitterati Sep 2014 #16

One that never made sense to me was, Le Taz Hot Sep 2014 #25

So were many of my friends malaise Sep 2014 #17

Which is one of the problems with interpreting violence from within a culture HereSince1628 Sep 2014 #20

That's a profound observation malaise Sep 2014 #23

Can relate to you about the "games" and mental cruelty oberliner Sep 2014 #18

If perfect strangers treated one another the way "loving" families act.... Paladin Sep 2014 #21

90% of the population of the 80"s and back would be in jail according to some on this board. Also Pisces Sep 2014 #24

Please, Le Taz Hot Sep 2014 #26

Here are 2 links, oh and what surprised me is that 90% still spank their kids today. Pisces Sep 2014 #27

Your claim was that, "90% of the population of the 80"s and back would be in jail according to some" Le Taz Hot Sep 2014 #31

Just curious Feral Child Sep 2014 #28

I am not defending spanking. How obtuse can some be. THere is a difference between abuse and Pisces Sep 2014 #29

Thanks for the link Feral Child Sep 2014 #33

If 90% do it phil89 Sep 2014 #35

and 10 percent of us (more really) say you don't know what the fuck you are talking about. CBGLuthier Sep 2014 #30

My mother did hit me LiberalElite Sep 2014 #32

I was never switched, RebelOne Sep 2014 #34

I got whipped a lot as a kid Spirochete Sep 2014 #36

parents didnt know better. now they should all know better and cut that crap out Liberal_in_LA Sep 2014 #37

My mom said her mother made them pick their own switches senseandsensibility Sep 2014 #39

Yeah :( BlindTiresias Sep 2014 #40