Okay, no spanking. I get that but what's this dad suppose to do?

[Brickbat]

37. To my eyes, your incident last night is the result of a lot of small bad decisions over the years.

Like, I don't think this monster tantrum came out of nowhere. It looks to me like you've taught your daughter, over the years, how to play you.

IMO:

* She shouldn't be eating supper either by herself or in front of the TV. Both of those set her up for unhealthy habits throughout her life.
* You and your wife probably have an apologetic, pleading parenting style. You tried to bargain (Mommy needs the table just for tonight, how about TV after you eat in the kitchen) and your daughter put you in a bad position because she knows she can play you.
* Your time-outs don't work because you probably didn't put her in a time out as a two-year-old. Dealing with an eight-year-old, you're going to have your work cut out for you. There is no quick fix, because she's been working on this for eight years.

This can be effective:

http://www.herald-dispatch.com/life/x809657898/Taking-child-out-of-Garden-of-Eden-will-stop-tantrums

If that's too much work, you're going to have to play it cool. You have to act like her tantrums are of no consequence. When she's calm, inform her of a new rule: Because her tantrums are so disruptive and annoying, they will be confined to her room from now on. She can scream as much as she wants, but it has to be done in her room so the rest of the family can go along with its business. Once you announce the time out, any delay adds five minutes. After counting (internally) to 10, add the five minutes and take away a privilege. She has privileges, right? Obviously watching TV is important to her, otherwise she wouldn't have insisted on it. Or sitting at the table is important to her. Whatever it is, make it clear to her that whatever the privilege is is something that can be taken away if she acts like she can't have it, which is what she does when she has a tantrum.

Good luck!

ETA: I highly, highly recommend the book "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk." It's uncannily effective.