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In reply to the discussion: Okay, no spanking. I get that but what's this dad suppose to do? [View all]uponit7771
(90,329 posts)97. MOST if not all of these solutions STILL.. STILL require something "physical" to happen...
... that would not be done to an adult.
What I don't think jives is someone interjecting their level of discipline comfort into someone else's discipline regime and making it doctrine.
I do think a lot of these solutions seems like they work and are a direct alternative to brute force of spanking (seems like brute force now) ... I need to see other alternatives that work.
I've seen this work multiple times with my kids
Use the clap-growl
Toddlers are not so much little children as they are little cavemen, Dr. Karp says. They are primitives; they're uncivilized, and in fact your job as a parent is to civilize them. Speaking in a calm, logical, reasonable way to a primitive actually makes them feel worse more often than feeling better. Instead, he says to use the clap-growl technique. When you see your young child doing something that you don't like -- like she's just bitten her brother -- rather than spanking them, you give a good sharp clap, which gets their attention, and then with a serious look on your face, you admonish them. No bite! with that index finger extended. And then, do what's called a double take; you look away from them for a second, and then you look back at them just a few seconds later with that stern look again and say, No bite,'" he says. "Its almost like dog training, in a certain sense, because you're dealing with a being who doesn't have great verbal skills.
But sometimes a thump on the noggin is all you can get out at that time...
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I don't know what I would have done, I know what I would not have done.
Warren Stupidity
Sep 2014
#78
Same here. Any screaming = no tv for 2 hours (young kids don't have a good idea of time
FSogol
Sep 2014
#12
I agree... Making a child take responsibility for their own behavior by apologizing to the neighbor
hlthe2b
Sep 2014
#17
My Mom would paddle me and my sister, but I never did that to my sons. (or had to)
FSogol
Sep 2014
#21
"How to Talk so Kids Will Listen" is the book my sisters and I used when our kids were young.
SalviaBlue
Sep 2014
#115
Great post, enlightenment. And you're right that this kind of response can take a long time,
pnwmom
Sep 2014
#46
Your parents were very unusual for their generation. You were lucky. And so were your children. n/t
pnwmom
Sep 2014
#62
Here's a book about validating that I think you might like. It's short and has plenty of examples.
pnwmom
Sep 2014
#49
Every kid is different, seaybeyond. I had a niece who was a screamer -- even at that age --
pnwmom
Sep 2014
#55
Yeah. I had some pretty good boundaries and they worked really great on 3 out of my 4 kids.
Arkansas Granny
Sep 2014
#69
To my eyes, your incident last night is the result of a lot of small bad decisions over the years.
Brickbat
Sep 2014
#37
She sounds like my kindergartener. I try to distract her and it sometimes works. I would like to
jwirr
Sep 2014
#40
lots of good suggestions here--and I wouldn't rule out filming or threatening to film it
zazen
Sep 2014
#48
LOL. Somebody has a sad. My theory: He had Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson on his fantasy team.
FSogol
Sep 2014
#79
Taking away privileges in the middle of a screaming fit is unlikely to work because
winter is coming
Sep 2014
#89
My original response has a know-it-all tone and I want to apologize for that. I'm wishing you
Brickbat
Sep 2014
#91
If I had to recommend a "parenting manual" to anyone, it'd probably be that Parent Survival Training
moriah
Sep 2014
#93
MOST if not all of these solutions STILL.. STILL require something "physical" to happen...
uponit7771
Sep 2014
#97
What should you do? Let your kids play minecraft sometimes. No, Seriously.
Warren DeMontague
Sep 2014
#127